Behind The Padlocked Door…. a.k.a. Get The Hell Outta My Head!!

OK, it may just be that I am paranoid, but it is starting to be too much of a coincidence. Do you ever get that eerie feeling that someone is watching you? Well it’s a bit like that, but on a whole different (and even creepier) level….

I am convinced that someone is stalking me…. No, no it’s not a secret admirer type of stalking, it’s not even an I am going to follow you home and take pictures of you changing then plaster them all over my walls type of stalking. It’s worse! I really think someone is stalking me, and stealing my ideas!!!!

Wait! Don’t click the back button just yet, hear me out. At first it was just a mere coincidence, perhaps the invention I had thought up was just that great an idea that someone else had come up with it as well. I let it slide the second time, thinking maybe I just was not as creative as I gave myself credit for, but now, multiple ideas and inventions later it has gone way past the point of coincidence…. either someone out there thinks so much like me that it is seriously creepy, or there are people specifically hired by large companies to follow me around waiting for me to get ideas they can use.

I am not crazy! OK, I am crazy, but I am not imagining this. This is not some strange form of paranoia that I have created in my head. I assure you that I have thought long and hard about this situation, and I am sure that these big companies (particularly creators of children’s products) have somehow hired employees whose sole purpose and position it is to stalk me, and outright steal my brilliant ideas!

exhibit A – This is a child locator, the concept is simple, it s like a car alarm that you attach to you child so that if you happen to lose sight of them in a store you can simply push a button and the device will emit a beeping sound, in turn locating your lost child. I created this a long time ago!!! No, I can not prove it (of course) Unless you count babbling away to my family about my brilliant idea as proof. No I did not actually create a physical proto-type, I know nothing about electronics, and would not even know where to start… But I created this product, worked out every detail in my head, and raved about how brilliant I was for days, even weeks! So…HA!

One product is not enough evidence… well then what about another one exhibit B a glow in the dark potty seat. I thought this up years before I even had children!!!! There is also exhibit C the famous cheering potty…also my idea, many years ago!!!

You can see where my suspicion stems from, there are many more examples I could provide. I might sound crazy, but I am not raving about government conspiracies here, I just think that a few companies are going out of their way to hack my brain and ruin my life. That’s not that crazy…. is it?

Perhaps it is that crazy! Maybe I should seek help!?! But surely the evidence shows that I am not ‘all‘ crazy, right? I mean it is a little creepy, isn’t it?

Maybe employees hired specifically to stalk me is a little overboard, I am sure there are others that they spend time monitoring as well, but it’s not completely inconceivable…..

The only solution….. (aside from trying to sue these large corporations, and looking like a complete and utter lunatic in the process due to lack of physical evidence) is to learn to keep my mouth shut when I have a brilliant idea… I think in the mean time I will research the patent process, so that next time one of these über fantastic, huge money-making moments strikes I will be prepared, and able to get the ball rolling in order to protect myself!!!! Until then, I will stick to the back alleys and try to lose the guys that are stalking me before any thing else gets out!!!!

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