Just Another Day in Creepsville


Those of you that know me personally know that I do not really look my age (30…Ah!). At 5 Feet tall and 100 pounds, I often get mistaken for a teenager from a distance and I am carded regularly when trying to buy liquor. (Which of course, is very flattering, but I do not believe for one second that I look that young!) Still, the point is I tend to look like a young woman (especially since I lack the boobs to be anything else, and sometimes the maturity level is questionable…) and this fact is not always a good thing.

Enter Creepsville. 2013-03-04_00-26-172

Creepsville is the place where all those wonky men come from that just do not seem to have the tact required to approach a woman. It is the place that houses those males that say all the wrong things, stalk, prowl the streets for a date, or hover too close in the clubs. Basically, Creepsville is where the Creeps come from… And they always seem to come to me.

Just the other morning I was on my way to pick up my daughter from her dads after their weekly ‘me’ time. The weather was warm, and it was a Sunday morning so I knew that taking a bus would be utter BS (the transit in my city is a disaster, but that is another post for another time) Anyways… I was wearing blue jeans, a green tank top, and running shoes (that belong to my 10 year-old son btw) I was by no means dressed in a provocative manner, or looking like a whore.

Yet as I was cruising along with my Ipod blasting Britney Spears in my ears I noticed a very nice truck pass by me on one of the main streets not far from my house. I am a big fan of big trucks and this one was flashy (something I thought I would look really good in)…

The walk from my house to my daughters dad’s takes me approximately 30 – 40 minutes (and I am a fast walker) It is located downtown and I live uptown so I usually follow the main roads and take a few smaller residential one in between working my way down diagonally.

The truck passed by and I went about my mission humming to myself and imagining I was famous inside my head. A few blocks down the road I noticed a really nice truck, and then another, and then another and I thought to myself… There is NO F**KING way that many people drive the same really nice truck in a small city this size… (Yep, I am blonde did I mention that)

Needless to say I started to pay attention to what was happening around me at this point and noticed the truck go by another two times before it passed me and turned down a side road ahead. As I crossed the road it had turned down I noticed it reversing in order to come back my way and I decided to pull out my phone and text my kids dad. I told him I thought someone was following me (realizing after I sent it how paranoid that would sound). At this point I was walking past two schools that are located right across from one another, which means there are no houses there and I am stuck between a road and a chain link fence. I thought to myself… This wacko is going to pull up right here and I am trapped… Sure enough that’s what happened.

I look over and there is this large truck coming to a stop beside me, its window rolling down and the driver leaning in to talk… I took a quick look around and realized that the nearest witness was a older couple on a porch across the football field and over two fences.

Turning to the driver I was surprised to hear him say, “Listen, I had to ask, do you want to come out on my boat with me today?”

LIKE, ARE YOU F**KING SERIOUS!!!!???

Let me think about this for a second….. Hmmm… Do I want to hop in a big truck with a strange man who plans to take me out in his boat to a deserted lake somewhere??? Tempting right???? HA!

I actually asked him if he was serious…. That is how unserious I thought he was… I was looking around for Ashton Kutcher, I was sure I was being punked…

Instead…

“Is this what you do? Drive around looking for young girls on Sunday morning’s on their way home from church? Seriously?

I gotta say, since you were stalking me for the last 18 blocks I already had a good description of your vehicle to give the police, including your licence plate number, and now I have a fairly detailed one of you as well… Including the wedding band on your left hand… So listen buddy you should probably go home to your wife.”

Funny, he didn’t seem interested in a boat ride with me after that…..?

I thought that I should share this though as a warning (I am being serious for a second) Perhaps he was just a nice guy who liked the look of my ass and really did just wanna take me out on a ‘boat’ trip, but I highly doubt it and the situation was weird enough to creep me out (not a simple thing to accomplish) so there was more to it than that. Normal men do not follow a woman for several blocks and creep her out in order to get a date. They also have enough sense to realize that a normal woman is not going to hop in a car with a stranger (and certainly not a boat). Normal men do not prowl the streets at 9am on a Sunday morning and stop to chat with girls that apparently look 18 (and that day I really did look a LOT younger than I truly am) No, this was a creep from Creepsville and they are everywhere. So educate yourself and learn to protect yourself (even if it is simply with a strong attitude and a big voice… remember most predators want easy prey and are more likely to pass on someone who seems like they will put up a fight or cause a scene) Seriously, as humorous as this situation was to me, it would not have been funny at all if it were my niece or daughter, or someone else’s daughter that was not as big a BITCH as I am…

P.S. I did end up contacting the police and gave a good description.. Although I didn’t actually have the licence plate number and truly have no clue if there really was ring on his left hand… but he looked at it when I said it and left pretty quick so I am assuming it was a smart comment to make… 

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Newsflash: Cheerleader Denied Justice (Again)


Newsflash: Cheerleader Denied Justice (Again) : Ms Magazine Blog – StumbleUpon.

The link listed above is something that I HAD to share… Read the story and imagine yourself in this poor girls shoes…

Then share it with everyone you know….

A brief overview for you; This is the story of Hillaire S, a 16 year-old high school student who was taken into a dark room at a party and raped by the school’s star basketball player while one of his friends pinned her down. Thankfully her cries for him to “stop” were heard by some other students in the hallway of the home, who broke in the door and scared the attacker away.

The boy, Rakheem Bolton, was charged with rape, as was his accomplice, but three months after the offense a grand jury chose NOT to indite either of the students on the alleged charges. An investigation showed that one of the jury members was the offender’s pastor, and his cousin happened to  powerful member of city council, under the employment of the District Attorney!

Though he was eventually forced to face court again on an appeal, he ended up pleading to a lesser charge of simple assault. Adding insult to injury this boy was allowed to return to the school campus between court appearances, and was even allowed to play during the schools basket ball play-offs. The victim, who was a member of the school’s cheer-leading squad, refused to cheer for her rapist during one of the teams games. The cheer she refused to chant???  “Two, Four, Six, Eight, Ten.. Come on Rakheem, Put It In!”

For refusing to cheer for attacker she was kicked off the cheer-leading squad by the schools Superintendent and other school administrators.

Her parents, outraged by the schools actions and lack of concern for their daughter’s safety and well-being in the first place, let alone in this specific situation, decided to sue the school for ‘violating her right to freedom of speech

Unfortunately the court did not side with the family and the case was dismissed, an appeal ended with a refusal to hear the case, and the families fight has fallen silent.

I was shocked by this story. I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised, everyday you find stories just like this one, that tell of a justice system failing those victims that turn to them for help, but it never fails to disgust me…. no matter how many times I read about it.

I think Naomi said it best with her comment on the original post, “This IS absolutely infuriating… but not surprising” and THAT is sad! Almost daily young men are getting away with unlawful and immoral acts all over America, because they are “star player” or have family members that are in positions of power, and it is not just teens that get this kind of unfair, unjust treatment… How many celebrities have we seen who have broken the law, and not suffered the consequences?? Money and Fame afford you freedom… That is the message this country sends!

In this case I believe that Awareness is the key to combating Rape, the more of a fuss we make as citizens, the more the government will HAVE to do to deal with the problem. NO ONE should EVER get away with touching or harming anyone, no matter who they, their family, or friends are!! I don’t care if this kids grandfather is the Pope, or if he were the Pope himself…. He should suffer the consequences for making this young girl suffer the way she had to…

And as for the school… I can not even fathom what I would do if I was in her families position. This school should be ashamed of themselves… Are sports stars more important to you than the morals and laws of life? You really want to send the message that it is OK to rape? What are you telling these children? Children that we entrust to you daily, children that we as parents send to you in order to help us instill strong values? Children that we educate through you in the hopes that we can ultimately create adults with respect, intelligence and a drive for success, and THIS is the message you send them?  There is NO excuse for this schools actions.. some might argue that this boy is innocent until proven guilty, but isn’t that right the same for this young girl? Why does she not get the same respect or freedom?

THIS GIRL‘S SAFETY SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRIORITY

Not the star player or score of the game!

I can not even begin to express the outright disgust that I feel towards this school for the actions they have taken, as well as the courts for their lack there of. They have literally taken this girls open wounds and poured lemon juice on them… forcing her, I am sure, to relive this traumatic experience over and over…. Also shocking is the court’s dismissal of the families lawsuit brought about by their daughters refusal to cheer for her rapist.. Money would be the very least way, in my eyes, that the school could even begin to repair the damage they have done…. This young girl should never have been in the position in the first place where she would have HAD to make such a choice.. Her right to a safe school environment was outright ignored for the schools need to have a winning basketball team!

It shows a complete lack of respect, and a major internal issue… Did this girl not suffer enough? Why should she have to relive this trauma daily, in public, without any sign of a caring adult standing by to support her rights at school? How does this school make the decision that basketball is more important that the safety and well-being of a young girl?

I can not wrap my head around this no matter how hard I try.. no matter what angle I look at it from…

It is JUST WRONG!


My heart truly goes out to this girl and her family, if it was my daughter I am almost sure that would be on trial for murder.. I only hope they can read these words somehow and see that they are not alone, that they are supported in their efforts to find justice. I pray that they may get some peace knowing that no matter what, justice WILL some how prevail in the end.. because no matter what happens….

What goes around, comes around!

***I hope everyone that reads this story will somehow share it. Blog it, share it on Facebook and Tweet about it… Don’t let this poor girl suffer any more than she already has.. show her that you support her… that the “right” thing will be done some how, some way!!***

RAPE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED…

SEND THE MESSAGE…

TAKE A STAND!

28 Things I Have Learned in 28 Years…


Learning is a life long process. You can never gain too much knowledge. As long as you live your life having fun and learning as much as you can everyday, you will not grow older… instead become newer as you grow each day!

I have lived a full and fascinating life so far, and it is not even half over yet. (Though it has become a bit more mellow over time!) I have loved, lost, and made mistakes… Now after 28 years I look back and realize how far I have come…

Here is my list of 28 Things I Have Learned in 28 Years;

  1. You can either bake, or you can’t… It is in your blood, you are born with the talent. I personally am no Betty Crocker!
  2. You will never get along with everyone, and you should not waste the time or the effort trying. There are people who just will not like you and there is nothing you say or do that will change that… get over it and move on. Surround yourself with those that do.
  3. Love and insanity are the exact same feeling, and usually have the exact same result.
  4. People do not talk about you even half as much as you think they do. Once you get over that you will be a much happier person.
  5. Life will never be easy. Things will never just fall in to your lap. You must work and fight to get what you want, or be content with what you already have.
  6. No matter how much it sucks, you will sometimes have to apologize and admit you were wrong… even when you don’t feel like you were, “I’m sorry” means you respect your relationships more than you ego!
  7. Happiness is a state of mind not a situation.. In every thing you do, you have the choice to find happiness within it!
  8. A good book can be a great escape from reality… Get lost as often as possible. A good book can also change your life!
  9. Family is precious. Enjoy them as much as you can. Parents and family are the only people who will truly have your back.
  10. Our thoughts about food are far more dangerous than the food itself. When you stop obsessing about food and use it as a tool to fuel your body, you will feel happier and will make better choices. You can eat what you want and be healthy without having to count calories or keep stock, follow your body’s cues and you will not need to worry about what you eat.
  11. Silly shoes will only make you look ridiculous. 6-inch spikes are not designed for comfort and if you are uncomfortable, you are not going to feel confident, or look good for that matter. You will only end up with blisters and you will look silly trying to waddle around.
  12. Most people operate out of selfishness. It is a rare thing to find someone who is not out to benefit themselves in some way. When you do find that person… cherish them always.
  13. Be kind to strangers. Even a simple smile and hello can change someone’s life. We are all fighting the same battle and walking the same road, we are just wearing different shoes while we do it!
  14. Blaming others for what has happened in your life will get you nowhere… every single thing that happens to you has occurred as a result of your choices. Accept responsibility and move on. Be the change you wish to see in the world.
  15. You will get only what you give. People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. It is your actions, and re-actions, that train others how to interact with you. Give others what you wish to receive in return.
  16. No one ever really grows up, we just get bigger and more self-conscious of our actions.
  17. If you are not making mistakes, you are not living. Every mistake is a lesson learned and a door opened. If you are not living, and learning, you are wasting precious time.
  18. No matter how bad things may seem, they can always be worse. Take a moment to think about all those things that you have to be grateful for… you list will be longer than you think!
  19. The most important person in your life is not your children, spouse, family, or friends… it is YOU… If you don’t take care of yourself first you will not be there to care for others.
  20. Even when a lie is the best option at the moment, the truth will always be the best option in the long run. The truth may hurt someone for a short time, but a lie can produce damage that is irreparable.
  21. Worrying is like running on a treadmill, it may feel productive but gets you nowhere. The more time you spend worrying about a problem the bigger the problem becomes, action is the only way to face what needs to be conquered.
  22. No one is going to remember you as “The one with the spotless house” Spending time having fun, enjoying life with friends and family is far more important than scrubbing the floors or doing the laundry.
  23. Every action has a reaction. When you allow someones words to hurt you, you are giving them power over you. Look closely at the source of the subject and never let another’s opinion of you become your reality.
  24. Thrift stores are amazing, and the more you save the more you get later. Don’t live like your rich, especially when you’re not, learn to be frugal even in small ways and avoid stressing about money. Plus shopping at thrift stores means you don’t have to worry about wearing the same outfit as ten other people, you can create your own custom style, and you are helping charity!
  25. No matter how good your intentions, you can never change someone else or force them to change themselves. Show a person the right path… but allow them to walk down it.
  26. Friendships will never last forever. People will always move on, grow apart, fade away, or die off… rely on no one but yourself in the long-run.
  27. One-year from now none of your current worries will matter. We spend far too much time living in fear over things that are not going to make any difference in the future. Live life to the fullest each and everyday. Face challenges when you come across them, remove people and actions that bring you down, do what you love and do it well, because tomorrow it will all be history.
  28. Never be afraid to be yourself. After high-school the pressure to be popular will fade, it won’t matter that you were homecoming queen, or head cheerleader. Do those things that make you happy despite what others say or think. Check in on yourself constantly and evaluate your happiness from within. Don’t compromise your values and live based on your terms… always remember…

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter,and those who matter don’t mind!”


I Hate Children….. On ‘Yes, I just said that….’


.Check out this humorous post on parenting:

http://ijusthadtosaythat.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-hate-children.html#

Clear…Clutter…Chaos…Crazy…Cuckoo…


Maybe its the bad weather…. the bitter cold, and the endless snowflakes that seem to fall from the heavens daily. Perhaps its the cabin fever, or the kids… or maybe I am just a BITCH! I don’t know, what I do know is that lately everything seems to be annoying me…. most of all the chaotic, disorganized disaster I call a home!!

It seems that no matter how many toys I pick up, papers I put away, or dishes I pile into the cabinets, this house is a constant write off. I clean one room and move on to another, only to return to the same mess I tidied in the first place. (either someone is playing a very mean trick on me, the house is haunted, I am hallucinating, or my family sucks!) Actually…. I think we just have too much stuff! Even after having just

moved to a new home, in a new city, leaving a large amount of items behind, we still have too much damn stuff…. I wonder sometimes where it all comes from!

Every surface in my home becomes a dumping ground for clutter. Every dresser, desk, table, and ledge in this home is filled with papers, junk mail, knick-knacks, and just crap in general! It is driving me mad… clearing the clutter has become an endless battle (a battle that I am losing, miserably!)

Let me drive this home for you, I want you to feel my frustration, I want you to truly understand the extent of chaos as I witness it daily… Just this afternoon I was in the living-room and I looked over at the large L-shaped desk I had recently purchased to house our beloved computers and help organize our work space, and it was cluttered with papers, pens, and other various items that did not belong to this location.  I dove on the job and quickly de-cluttered the area with ease. Problem solved! Perfect! I was content.

It’s funny how clearing clutter off open surfaces is the quickest and easiest way to make a room appear tidier. If ever you have company coming and you need a quick  fix, opt for clearing the clutter rather than washing the floors, it is a fail proof way to make the house appear clean without actually cleaning.  (Yes, It is sad that I am giving you tips on how to clean without cleaning!)

Anyway…. I returned to the room awhile later only to find that the desk had

miraculously, (magnetically?) attracted all that clutter right back to itself…. (mess fairy?) I was livid!!! What’s the point? Why clear the clutter if it is just going to wander back on its own anyway??? Should I just throw in the towel? Wave the white flag and admit defeat? Seems the easiest route in this situation, I mean this is an endless battle that one woman cannot take on alone….. and this woman is exhausted!

Organization has never been my strong suit, I can get things organized in the first place perfectly, but keeping them that way is where the issue lies. (Especially when there are three other people in this house that have no interest in my attempts to create an orderly environment) I could start a business organizing other peoples houses. In fact, I could make millions doing it because I wouldn’t have to keep it that way. I could go in, get it done, and get out. Leaving satisfied customers with clean homes where everything has its place, and there is a place for everything. No problem…. But no matter how many times I do this in my house the clutter comes back, quickly. Perhaps if it was happening over time it wouldn’t bother me so much, I probably wouldn’t even notice it happening, but its not over time…. We are talking instantly here, it’s disturbing really…..

So whats my plan??? Truthfully…. I don’t have one. No, for now I will just keep clearing out the same clutter time-and-time again until I get fed-up and throw it all away…..(or throw out my family, whichever seems easier at the time) Until then I will gear up and meet this profound battle head-on. So…Wish me luck! (Oh and feel free to suit up and join me, I can use all the help I can get. Send a couple of Spartans over if you happen to have them lying around actually, anything to make this easier on poor little me!!)

Evil Education


Well since we moved over the weekend, Wednesday was C’s first day at his new school. My son has always loved school (a trait that I am very thankful for, and proud of) and could not have been more excited to go back 3 days off was more than he could handle.

 The area of the city we live in is a fairly residential area and the houses that surround us are all well kept and lovingly cared for. The school itself is a very international environment, and is built on self-esteem and strong academics the area surrounding the school is home to a very diverse group of people and different housing styles. There is everything from high-rise buildings, to large single family homes, all of which house members of the community from many different cultures. It seems like a wonderful school and when we went to register him the staff was very friendly and welcoming….

Now moving to a big city does have it’s major differences, everything in a city is just bigger. Bigger buildings, bigger buses, bigger schools and even (as my 7 year-old pointed out in awe one day as we explored our neighbourhood) bigger sidewalks. There are also many major culture differences. In the smaller city we left there were not many students of a different culture at C’s school, a few here and there, but they were the minority. And so, I had a long talk with him about how people come in all shapes, sizes and colors, but how we are all the same on the inside. I believe this is an important conversation to have with a child (children are often brutally honest, and tend to blurt out the truth in any situation, often pointing out the most obvious differences in a very uncomfortable way)

Because of C’s love for school, and friendly, caring nature, he was excited to make new friends, meet new people, and most of all to get homework!!! (Yes, my 7 year-old son is a little strange) See, every school C has ever been to has had a “no homework” policy. Apparently there is a government study going on in the city we used to live in that suggests children learn better, and learn more, when they are learning only in a classroom environment,a number of school in the area adopted this “no homework” policy and it just so happened that the schools C attended in our town did not have homework ever. (This theory may be true for some students, but my son is not one of them!!) I had even gone as far as asking that the school specifically assign him homework, because he was constantly asking for it… Their response was to tell me to create it myself for him… (sure I’ll just fit in time to create a full curriculum in between breakfast, lunch, baths, shopping, cleaning, dinner, more cleaning, and my other obligations… no problem…what exactly is it that I pay taxes for again????) I will go on further at another time as to why I personally believe this no homework policy is a terrible idea, but for now, on with my story….

Anyway, the most exciting thing for him was the fact that this new school was going to provide him with homework… Real homework that he was expected to complete (yeah, yeah, I am in the middle of writing my book of secrets to rasing the perfect, ‘albeit geeky’ child)

Dropping him off at school, I got to meet his new teacher. She is a lovely  young woman, with brilliantly blonde hair and a perky attitude… she explained the classroom to C and when I left all seemed well. There truly could not have been a better teacher for him, she had a positive approach, and an energetic attitude… I liked her!

At 3:10 I waited eagerly outside the assigned doors for C to disembark his first day.. and waited…and waited… and waited… finally frustrated I wandered around to the front of the school and found him there waiting for me! (I forgot that I told him to meet me in front of the office to avoid any confusion… well that plan failed miserably, but no harm done, he hadn’t been there long and was happy to see me) As we began our walk home I was anxious to hear all about his first day….

Well apparently C’s first day was not at all what he (or I) had expected. The first thing out of C’s mouth was “My teacher yells!” He looked truly devastated. “She yells a lot, even when no one is doing anything, and I asked my new friend if she is always like that and he said Yeah Everyday!!!! I don’t like a teacher that yells” My heart broke a little inside, but I did not want to dwell on the negative so I told him that perhaps she was just having a bad day, and asked about the rest of his. To which he replied “It sucked, Recess here is a lot shorter, just as me and my friend got outside the bell rang to go inside” OK…. “well hunny you’ll get used to the difference in play time.. What else??? ” Each response that followed was a negative one, so I eventually gave up and told C that if you only see the negative in things, you will never have any positive experiences, just more bad ones (blah, blah, blah..positive thinking brings positive results…)But mom….. it sucked.. oh and btw … I am the ONLY white person in my class!!!”

LMAO!!! What was I supposed to say to that???? I personally don’t see that as an issue at all… I have never been the type to care about someone’s skin color, and I truly don’t think C is either.. I think that the shock of a “yelling teacher” just caused a negative overload in his brain… “Who cares”.. is all I could manage to muster up, as I said we are all the same inside.

After a healthy snack and some “homework” time (which put him in a much better mood) C started talking about the good things, but still insisted he did not want a yelling teacher… His complaints about his teacher reminded me of a teacher I had in grade 3 (funny I was around the same age as C almost and living in the same city we just moved back to now!!)

My teacher from hell was Mrs. Bristo! (I hope by some strange cosmic fate she happens to stumble across this post) Mrs. Bristo had this purple tinge to her hair that seemed almost natural. She was serious and slender, with a face like Cruella Deville. She was strict and serious… And most importantly THIS WOMAN HATED ME!!!!

Now I am aware that a child’s mind can exaggerate a situation, and make things seem a lot worse than they truly are, but there is no exaggeration involved here. This woman hated me with a disturbing amount of irrationality. She set out to destroy me from the very first day of school and I had no idea why. I was not a “bad kid” I had always gotten good grades up to this point, I was well-behaved for the most part, but I had an over active imagination, and a talent for communication. (still strong traits I possess today!) Other than that though, I worked hard and I payed attention, there was no reason for her to dislike me as much as she did… And dislike is putting it mildly. This woman would single me out every chance she got, she assigned me excessive homework (sometimes 3 and 4 hours worth) personally, and never gave the same amount to the other children. She moved me to a desk that was next to hers and faced the wall so I could not see the classroom, and she was just harsh with me at all times.

The situation caused me misery, I had been a lot like C and I loved school, so when I started to complain and pretend I was sick my mother (who was always a very active parent) knew that she had to do something. She approached the school about the situation, explaining that for some reason this woman just did not like me. The schools only reply was how she was a great teacher. My mother (never one to back down from anything) had her own reply to them… She may be a great teacher, but NOT for my kid she isn’t the woman does not like her, and it borders on obsession, either you remove my daughter from her class, or I go to the school board!! (WOO HOO! This must be where I get my stubborn, go-get-em’ attitude. My mother was always standing up for us, sometimes even when she knew we didn’t deserve the support.) Needless to say, she was a force to reckon with, and I was switched classes, enabling me to finish off grade 3 peacefully, and with good grades!

To this day I don’t know what this womans issue was with me. I have friends who are teachers and many of them have said that there is always one kid that you just don’t like, but they also expressed that no matter your level of dislike you NEVER-EVER treat that child any differently than the rest!! Now there are people who were born to teach, (I can tell you now that I am not one of those people, trying to teach my son to read was an overwhelming experience that did neither of us any good. There was tears, yelling, and unpleasant words before I gave up and accepted that he would learn at his own pace. We truly take reading for granted, it is damn hard to teach someone something that feels so natural to us as adults.) and like me, there are others that are born to learn, or share in a different way. I don’t know if Mrs. Bristo was a good teacher or not, to me she was the devil in disguise. The worst part is that if it were not for my mothers headstrong, take charge attitude I would have had a miserable year, and could possibly have been turned off school forever. I truly believe that a childs teacher is the key to success, they have the ability to make of break a child so easily.

Long before evil Mrs. Bristo I had the most amazing teacher, Mrs. Phillips was my kindergarten teacher, and probably the reason I love learning to this day. She was kind and approachable, she took time to get to know her students and their personal needs. Sure, classes were smaller back then, and teachers often went above and beyond, but the care and compassion that was put into their jobs should still be an expectation today. Teachers now fail to communicate with the parents, they assume that the parents know how their children behave, but the reality of it is, the way your child is at school, and the way they are at home can often be two very different things.

Luckily C came home from his second day at school with the exciting news that his teacher didn’t yell at all that day, and that she was very nice. It makes me happy to see a child actually want to learn, to actually enjoy getting up and going to school. Education is one of the most important tools we provide our children, the least we can do is make this tool seem exciting….

P.S. Feel free to share your “bad teacher” stories and thoughts, I would love to hear about teachers who hurt or helped your school experience…

The Elephant In The Room


As if the fish hidden deep within my stove wasn’t bad enough, there is also the issue of the garbage piled up in the back stairway driving me crazy (thankfully the landlord agreed to have a junk company come and remove it ASAP) Then there is the leak in the bathroom ceiling (but that too is getting fixed) The biggest problem I am having with my new home though, is one that is not easily fixable!

I love the space I have in my new apartment, the layout works perfectly for my little family. We have space to get away from each other when needed, and space to gather when we wish to be close. It is bright, airy, and warm. (All of the things my last apartment was lacking.) The neighbourhood is amazing and I have been enjoying all the conveniences it supplies. I could not be happier, except for the people upstairs…..

I swear to GOD there must be elephants up there!!! These people sound like they are going to come through the floor at any moment, they are VERY heavy on their feet. And their kid……wow! Don’t even get me started on their kid….. I can not even tell you honestly whether they have 1, 2, or 5 up there, but however many there are, the kid is BAD!!! (I discovered there is only 1 which makes this situation that much more disturbing…read on….)

Call me crazy, but I feel that structure and routine are an important part of a child’s life. In my household there is a set bedtime, set meal times, and set times for almost everything, but apparently for the devil child upstairs bedtime is what ever time she pleases!!! Not that it should be my business, or place, to pick apart someone’s parenting style, but I will tell you why (in this case) it is my business…

I won’t lie, I am not a big fan of children in the first place. (even my own piss me off on a regular basis, and cause me to question wtf I was ever thinking when I decided to reproduce) but I can usually at least smile and bear it. (or deal with it on some level, which usually improves with each glass of wine) I will also explain that I have never had an apartment where someone lived above me, so I am not sure what the acceptable noise level is in such situations…. But this has to be excessive, there is just no way that a person allows their child to make this much noise without thinking “wow, maybe that is a bit much”

Allow me to expand a little. This child above my apartment sounds as if it is bowling all day long. She is constantly jumping, running, and banging on the floor (which is hardwood flooring btw, or at least I assume it is, if it is not hardwood that this child is beyond crazy and I don’t know what to tell you) Not only is this child treating the house like their personal playground, there is also the issue of the screaming(OH YES, There is screaming….) Just last night this little spawn of satan was screaming for 2 hours straight. I assume that the parents had decided it was bedtime (finally, at 10:30pm) and the child clearly disagreed, thus causing this child to scream uncontrollably until nearly 1 in the morning… I was ready to rip my hair out, seriously! (I actually thought horrible things during this screaming session; some of those thoughts??? I was wishing this child would a) Choke b) Break her leg c) Get removed by the authorities at that exact moment!!! If there is one thing I dislike more than children, it is screaming children!)

Perhaps I am just a bitch, (I mean that is a possibility) but in my house that kind of thing just doesn’t happen. My children DO NOT run, jump, bang, or yell.. those things are done outdoors, not in the comfort of my home. There is no fight for bedtime (although L does cry for a short period, it is to be expected at 10 months old, but will not be acceptable at 2 and 3 years-old) My children are rarely awake after 8 p.m. and even if they were they would not be running around the house, jumping off furniture, and driving my neighbours mad. In fact, I had a very long conversation with my son about respect and the acceptable amount of noise you can make when living in an apartment. I told him that you had to be thoughtful of the people who live above and below you at all times, and that loud activities were geared for outdoor play, not for inside the apartment. It was a conversation I had more out of routine than actual need, my son is generally quiet (although he does tend to talk too much, his voice is rarely at an elevated level)

When the child is not jumping around or screaming (which seems to be all she is doing all day and night) it is the parents stomping around the house, last night during the childs screaming fit, these parents actually cranked their music so they couldn’t hear her. (Which I can understand completely, but honestly what good does that do for your neighbours idiots… go live in a house! Seriously!)  Apparently this child is either too young for school (in which case it should definitely be in bed before 11 p.m.) or does go to school, and I just have not noticed when it’s gone (in which case it definitely should be in bed before 11p.m.) Even if it is old enough and just does not go to school, (for reasons such as homeschooling or whatever the case may be) a child should just be in bed before such late hours for the sheer benefits it provides. Children need their sleep in order to function on a sane level. They need sleep to grow and be healthy. They just need sleep, period.

Not only do they need sleep, parents need the peace and quiet. I have never understood parents who allow their children to be up at all hours for the simple fact that those hours after the children go to bed is “me” time. My children go to bed at 7:30 p.m. almost everyday of the week and 8 p.m. on weekends, there are very rare occasions when they will be awake later, but for the most part they follow a strict bedtime routine. I need this routine just as much as they do. My son C falls to pieces without a sufficient amount of sleep. (He does not get grouchy like some children, but instead gets overly emotional, bursting in to tears at the drop of a hat) L on the other hand turns in to a whining, crying, little bitch!! She can not function without her sleep, in fact at 10 months old she has 3-4 naps a day and sleeps through the night. It’s just the way we were made, they must get it from me because for the last 2 years I am rarely awake after 11p.m. and if I am, well… lets just say you probably do not want to converse with me the next day, because I NEVER sleep in, and I am BITCHY!!!!

Anyway… the point is that these insane elephants upstairs are the only cause of stress to me at the moment, but it is stressful. I guess I just don’t understand how you can choose to live in an apartment and not have at least a mild amount of respect for the needs of your neighbours. If you want to be loud, rude, or let your chid run around like a crazy person, that’s your choice, but I suggest you get a better job and go live in a house (In the country, in fact, in a whole other country even!!!) Where you won’t disturb your neighbours!!!!

There’s Something Fishy Going On Around Here…..


Those of you that have been following along are aware that I recently moved, relocating, (on a whim) from a smallish town to the big city. The move went smoothly, even despite the fact that the BF woke up Friday morning and decided at 8 a.m. that this was the day to move (our plan was to move on the Saturday) Still, we managed to get a truck, and a great deal on it as well (somehow managing to get a 17 foot truck for the price of a 10 foot one, and getting a huge discount on the mileage) BF and his friend had the entire house packed, and loaded within an hour, and we were happily on the road to our new home…

I managed to unpack within the first two days and the house is cozy and functional, but (Yes, there is a but) there was one issue that was preventing me from really getting settled in our new home….

There has been a pungent odour in our house since the day we moved in, and it has been driving us crazy! My frist thought was that the smell was coming from the fridge, but even after a thorough cleaning the smell was still present, and strong. I then thought that the smell was a result of a large pile of garbage I found piled in the back hallway of the building. Not just a large pile actually, this is an excessive amount of garbage. The BF even put a note on the front door politely asking that whoever owned the garbage remove it as it was causing an odour in our house. The note prompted a knock on the door from a very apologetic neighbour, explaining that the garbage did (in a sense) belong to them, as they had found it in the apartment when the moved in a short time ago and put it in the stairway because they didn’t know what else to do with it. (The city has a 1 bag limit, and will not pick up such a large amount of trash all at once) So he agreed to move it, and I informed him that I would email the landlord to have a junk removal company come and collect it off the street…

But… The odour still remained. Convinced that it wasn’t due to the excessive garbage, the BF went on a hunt for the source of the smell, he pulled out all the vents, checked the cupboards, and moved the appliances. This morning while he had the stove pulled out in search of the offensive odour I decided to clean the walls and floor of the area. Once I completed this task the BF began to move the large appliance back into place when a small amount of liquid seeped out from inside the appliance…..

The smell from this liquid was raunchy (to say the least) and we both began gagging uncontrollably…

Clearly, this liquid was the cause of the repulsive odour that had been driving us mad, and forcing us to seriously question the move altogether. So.. I figured that the only solution to the problem was to disassemble the stove and clean it thoroughly, ensuring that it was meticulously clean from top to bottom….

As I began my cleaning mission I noticed that the smell was getting stronger and stronger. I covered the entire surface with oven cleaner, using almost an entire bottle on one area, but still the smell remained. I removed burners, racks, and knobs, but still the smell remained. Finally there was only one piece of appliance left to disassemble, the bottom drawer of the stove. Slowly I slid the drawer out, removing it completely (by this time the sheer potency had caused the BF to flee the scene) What I found behind the drawer was revolting!!!!!

There, stuffed deep inside the crevices of this appliance was an ENTIRE FISH!!!! Left to rot in the heat of my household!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!! A whole rotted fish was shoved inside my stove!! LIKE WTF???

This is “one of those things” that you have heard about, that you have read about, that you have even seen on T.V. But you have never actually believed that it could happen in real life…. Let alone to you, in your house, in your kitchen!!

That, my friends, is the true definition of CRAZY!!!

So, seeing this whole fish shove deep inside the crevices of my oven, I did what any woman in my situation would do… I screamed at the top of my lungs!!! BF came running like a bat out of hell, and stopped dead upon sight of this rotted, decomposing, poisonous fish body that was placed beneath our appliance assumingly, in the hopes that it would never be found. Thankfully though, he did muster the strength to remove the fish, and wipe the sticky, vile smelling goo from area before gagging his way out the door… Leaving me standing in the kitchen in tears of shock, while I contemplated exactly what kind of person would do such a disgusting thing????

I understand being angry with your landlord. I even understand being completely pissed off to the point of no return. I, myself, have had some landlords over the years that I have wanted to seek revenge upon, but to actually shove a fish inside the stove and leave it to rot until (if lucky) the next tenants stumble upon it at 7 a.m. one morning!!!!!!! Now That is just plain NUTS!!!!

Needless to say, I scoured the entire house in search of any other unwanted gifts. I used an entire economy sized bottle of bleach on the kitchen, and have since showered twice. I did find a few dried up shrimp hidden in the kitchen area as well, but no other fishy surprises throughout the rest of the house thankfully.

I don’t think I will ever be able to eat fish again, and GOD that smell. I can not get it out of my nose!!! Seriously…. who does that????? Like wow!

All I can say is, “Only MeOnly in My Crazy Life, could something so strange happen… Honestly, will I ever have a normal day?????

What I am most thankful for is the BF’s unrelenting search for the cause of the smell… had he not been so insistent that the smell was more than just the garbage we may have never found this decaying fish beneath the stove, and imagine what it would have smelled like tonight when I attempted to cook a roast in the oven!! Imagine rotted fish baking on low for several hours…OH-MI-GOD that would have been awful!!!

I think I will go kiss him right now just to thank him for following his nose and being such a brave man, saving me the fate of removing this rotted carcus!!! We may be the “Better” half, but they are still useful for some things!!!

My Beautiful Brat


My daughter has just discovered the emotion of anger.

 By ‘discovered‘ I mean, she realised that she has a serious temper that can be used to get whatever she wants, with nothing more than a simple scream…well at least with her Daddy she can anyways.

Lately it seems that L is always mad at something. If you take something away from her…. she is mad, change her diaper, clothes, etc… she is mad, when you put her to bed, put her down, or put her in her room to play….. she is mad. Anger is oozing from this beautiful little brat!

She shows her anger by grunting, tensing up her whole body, or releasing these earth shattering screams…. It is quite disturbing actually. Now, I must admit that we expected some sort of temper, both her father and I are known to be a little hot-headed at times. (OK maybe more than a little) I am the ‘fly-off-the-handle’ type, and Daddy is often seen with a permanent frown on his face, creasing his forehead. Not to say we are constantly miserable people or anything like that, we just have “tempers” and are not afraid to share our emotions when something upsets us. It makes for some very tense moments, but at least it beats bottling things up inside until we one day just explode about every little thing!

But L’s temper is amusing right now in a sense (I am sure that a few months, or even years down the road, it won’t be so damn cute, but for now it is a constant laughing matter in our house for the most part.)

Although I have been laughing about her little ‘outbursts’ the fear of temper tantrums in public places scares me to death and so I thought I would research now the best ways to handle such out burst, if they do occur, in a public place in the future.

So here is a list of Do’s and Dont’s when dealing with public temper tantrums;

Do

  • Do Remain calm at all times – Children are great at sensing your emotions. Often times tantrums are a way for children to get what they want, and the more frustrated you are the further they will push knowing you are more likely to give in if you are embarrassed or frustrated.
  • Do try to understand – We all feel frustration at not getting our own way, but as adults we realise the need to control these emotions. Children do not have the sense yet of what is, and is not, appropriate behaviour in public, or how to show their frustration in an acceptable manner.
  • Do reflect/accept their feelings – Apparently when you justify your childs feelings it will help to calm them down. By saying “I understand you are feeling mad right now” you are acknowledging what your child is feeling and telling them it is alright to feel that way, but showing that they can feel an emotion without acting out.
  • Do Ignore – If the tantrum is for attention (which is the case often times) simply ignore the child’s outburst. Do not abandon the child, but simply go about your business without acknowledging the behaviour.
  • Do give a child options – Giving your child choices can help you prevent tantrums later. By giving a child a small amount of control on a regular basis you help them to feel like an important part of the family and they are less likely to act out later while you have to do something that you “chose” to do.
  • Do Explain – If you have a child who is prone to, or you fear will, act out in public take the time to explain to the child what your schedule will be for the day before hand. Telling your child “We have to go to the bank, the grocery store, and the dry-cleaners, then we can come home and play” may help them to understand that after the ‘work’ is done you get a reward. (but never promise treats for good behaviour, bribing a child is just as bad as giving in to their demands. Children should know that good behaviour is appreciated because it is expected, not because it is a once in a while pleasure.)

Don’t

  • Do NOT Smack your child up-side the head – As much as you may want to physically discipline your child, it is best to refrain from doing so (especially in public) Not only will it earn you even more disapproving looks from bystanders, it will only escalate the situation and cause your child to act out even more.
  • Do NOT Give in – This is a big one. Never ever give in to your childs demands when they are acting out. As frustrating as it maybe to have everyone in Walmart stare at you like you are a horrible parent, it is worth it in the long run. Giving in to what your child is demanding will only lead to further tantrums down the road. Stand your ground and explain that their behaviour will not be tolerated.
  • Do NOT set a limit  – If you are dealing with an older child and time-out is one of the options you choose to punish bad behaviour, it is best not to set a time limit on the punishment. Rather place the child in time-out until they have calmed down and are ready to act appropriately. Sometimes this may occur quickly, other times it may take longer.
  • Do NOT stop – Should your child decide to throw a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store, DO NOT stop your shopping and go home. You should not suffer because of bad behaviour. Simply ignore and continue on with your errand, then leave the store. If your child has thrown themselves on the floor, you can attempt to walk away watching that they follow, but remember to never actually leave your child unattended, and don’t fuss over them or act embarrassed. Once you leave the store you can explain that they are being punished, what the punishment is and why.
  • Do NOT threaten – One of the worst things parents do is yell out idle threats “Stop it or your going to bed” “I said stop it or your going to bed” “That’s enough I mean it, I will put you to bed….” and so on with no follow through. If you threaten to do something DO IT! You might feel mean, you might not want to, but if you say it, DO IT, or your child will assume you are not serious and they will act out more often and on a more serious level. Discipline requires consistency at all times to be effective so you muct always follow through with a threat!

I personally agree with some of these, and others I just don’t have the compassion to even try. I have never had to deal with a major tantrum in public (as of yet) and any slight instance of ill behaviour was quickly halted by “the Mama Look, and the Mad voice….”

But when it comes to L, who is growing quickly and showing some serious signs of becoming a bratty little girl, I think that I will keep these tips close at hand…just in case!

 

Mum…..mmmmm….Ummm….


My daughter L is now 10 months old. This is one of those great ages where you actually get to “watch” their little brains develop each day. She has been saying “Dada” for quite some time now, but it has been my constant mission to have her say “mama” since the day she was born. I sit with her, (sometimes for very long periods at a time) and incessantly repeat “mama, mama, mama…” in the hopes that she will mimic my sounds.

Apparently my little devil angel finds it amusing to copy every sound I make day-to-day except that one! She will copy when you say “dada” or “baba”. She even makes an attempt at her brother’s name saying “Cha..” “Sssss…”, and any other sounds you happen to make using your mouth… but say “mama” and she just laughs in your face. I swear it is some evil plot she has conspired with her Daddy to drive me completely insane.

The other day while Big brother was at school and Daddy was out doing errands, L and I were alone in the house. I sat for a while drilling the sound into her head (“mama, mama, mama”) with no sign of success. Giving up, I laid her down for an afternoon nap, and got down to business cleaning the house. Time flew by, and a while later I heard whines coming from her crib indicating that she wanted out of the ‘cage‘ that we adults call her bed. I went through the motions of the after sleep schedule; changing her diaper and setting her up with some toys to amuse herself with while I continued to putter around the house.

I was straightening up the livingroom when she started crying and searching the house (on all fours) for me. Not wanting to go and get her (a habit I am trying very hard to break in this house, it’s hard because she is just so damn cute) I waited for her to find me. The little pitter patter that accompanies a crawling infant soon grew closer to the room I was in, and within seconds a beautiful, but tearful, little girl was looking up at me with lonely eyes. Reaching her arms up for me to lift her she whimpered “mum” I gasped…. jumped up and down…. and grabbed her up off the floor (near squishing her to death with excitement and I hugged and kissed her with all my might!)

We were still jumping for joy when her Daddy walked in, (By “we: I mean “I”, she was in my arms looking a little confused to be honest with you) overwhelmed with excitement I told her Daddy (who was looking at us like we were aliens from another planet that had just explained to him that we were here to dissect a section of his brain) what had happened! What my beautiful, smart little angel had said! I put her back down on solid ground just so she could say the word again so Daddy to share in my excitement….

Do you know what happened???

That little brat darling made me look like a completely insane liar!!! Oh yes she did!

“Say Mama L..” I told her. L stared back at me with innocent eyes. “Come on hunny, show Daddy, say mama” A look of confusion crosses her face as she looks at her Daddy and spits out “Dada” as she raises her arms to him.

I WAS LIVID! (Ok maybe livid is exaggerating it a little, but I was disturbed for sure!)

This evil man had brain washed my baby, and was trying to give me a mental breakdown, that was the only explanation I could see for the complete insanity I was watching occur right before my eyes.

“She said “Mum” I swear she did, just put her down and we will go hide, when she finds us then you’ll see. We just have to make her cry first, then she will say it!”

At this point the evil, conspiring, baby altering, maniac of a man just looked at me like I was absolutely loopy. “Make her cry? That’s mean!” was all he could say.

“Not cry, cry” I replied “Just cry a bit, like she thinks she has been abandoned. Only until she comes to find us and says “mama”, not for long.” I explained in a calm matter-of-fact tone. I wasn’t telling him to beat the damn kid, just hide from her and make her think she has been left alone…

Baby L in his arms, he shook his head and walked into the other room. I swear I saw her smirk over his shoulder, and I could hear them playing “Dada” “Dada” “Dada”…….

Maybe I should install one of those Nanny-cams, that way I could either catch the brainwashing, or at the very least have solid proof the next time she slips up and says “Mama”!!!