Seriously Gangsta

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I heard this comment today and I had to share it with you, “Playing kickball on your cul-de-sac does not count as growing up on the streets.” 

I found this statement amusing because I am constantly complaining about people who think they are “gangsta” when CLEARLY they are not. I am no expert on the subject mind you, I grew up in a family home, with both parents, we moved to a small city, into a suburban area. We always had food to eat, the bills paid, and warm beds to sleep in. I am NOT “gangsta.” I don’t try to be “gangsta,” I have no desire to live the life of a “gangsta.” 

But for a moment let’s have a look at what makes a “gangsta.” I am not talking about “GANGSTER” there is an unmistakable difference between the two. John Gotti was a “gangster.” Tupac was a “gangsta.” A gangster is the head of an organized crime ring; a “gangsta” is a young, male, who grows up in a less than desirable area. This individual will usually take to selling drugs to survive. They are usually involved in criminal activity, carry weapons, and often have spent some time in prison. A “gangsta” is usually known for his ability to rap, and creating a name for himself in the music industry is often his main goal in life. 

Now that we have distinguished what makes a “gangsta” we can get back to the real topic. Why do people feel the need to pretend they are gangsta? It seems that everyone wants to suffer and live the hard life. Every other well-off suburban white kid wants to be the next Eminem, and every young middle class black kid wants to be 50 cent. But why?

The fame? Probably. The money? Of course. The fact that rappers now a days make the tough life sound cool? Definitely. See back when Tupac (2 Pac) was “gangsta,” rappers used their lyrics to make lower-class kids in housing projects choose a different path than they had taken. They spoke of the hardships. They did not sugar coat their lifestyle and make it look cool. They did not sing about how it was cool to sling dope on the streets, or how many “Bitches” they hooked up with while doing it. They spoke of the pain of watching their friends die, the shoot outs, and the fear. They did not want the same life for their children or fans their words touched, they wanted to make a difference. TuPac was a poet at heart. 

Enough about that, yes clearly I have respect for the man himself, Back to my point…. 

I am so sick of typical little boys from hardworking middle-class families pretending they have a hard life. I hate to break it to you sunshine but just because the paint is peeling on your 3 bedroom condo does not mean you live in the ghetto. It is my opinion that for the most part if you live in Canada, you are not a gangsta. I say this for a few reasons; we are lucky here in Canada we have a reasonable minimum wage, and an even more reasonable welfare system. Although many people struggle to get by, Canada has endless resources available if you seek them out. We have an excellent public housing system, and great health care. In comparison to what I have heard about some areas in the U.S. Canada is a kingdom. Not to say people here do not suffer, as a single mother I am aware of how tough it can be to make ends meet. I have had the times of hardship and the fear of how to feed my family. I have been at my lowest and climbed back up, but I am not a “gangsta.” I did not resort to robbing stores, selling drugs, or drive by shootings. I had other choices available to me in life and I took them. 

I think for a true “gangsta,” which is what I am talking about here, there are not other options, it’s a shark tank, eat or be eaten. I don’t think many of us truly know that kind of lifestyle, nor will we ever. This is the reason I am sick of kids pretending they suffer. The fact is there are people out there that truly are suffering, that truly do have no choice but to steal to eat, to kill to survive. There truly are kids out there that will grow up with no better or safer option than to join a gang, until they find other options. There are children who will be shot in the street, senselessly. There are families who will have to grieve the loss of a child, family member, or friend because the lifestyle of violence made it so. THIS SHOULD NOT BE BY CHOICE. This should not be for show; this should not be the creation of some middle class punk who just wants to be cool. For many this is reality, and I am sure they would be the first to tell these little “wannabe gangsta’s” to find another path, to make a different choice, that this life is not cool. 

This turned out a lot more serious then I intended, the more I got to thinking, the angrier it made me. To think that someone would choose to put, not only themselves, but their families through such pain just because they feel like acting like 50 cent makes me sick. Ask 50 cent, I am sure he will tell you it is not the lifestyle of choice.



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I have not written anything in a few days, not really for lack of creativity, I have had plenty of ideas, just no desire. You see I have acquired a head cold, the get in your brain and make you insane kind of head cold that makes your eyes water and your nose run down your face. Your poor nose gets so red and sore from blowing it so often and you pop your ears just trying to clean it out. My head feels as if it might explode, and if I sneeze one more time I think I make blow my brains out my nose.

So I will keep this post short and sweet and I will write more soon. 🙂

I’m Sorry….I’m Not!

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Sorry; an over used word that should be erased from our vocabulary unless absolutely necessary. 

(If you blow-up a building on the way out the door it is alright to apologize, but leaving the light on in the john does not warrant a need for remorse) 

I spend a large amount of time apologizing for things, things I am not really sorry about. This is especially true when it comes to my children, my busy life, my thoughts, or speaking my mind. “Sorry my son is sick, I can’t make it.” “Sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” “Sorry you ran into me with your shopping cart.”  Well you know what…. I am NOT sorry. The only thing I am sorry for is saying sorry

My personal concern with the over use of this word is the fear that the true significance is losing it meaning each time I use it inappropriately. I fear that in the event that I do need to apologize with honesty my “sorry” will have lost its power. 

I am not the only one who experiences this “apology overuse syndrome”, I have been witness to many un-needed apologies. “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner there was a pile-up on the highway.” You’re here, WHAT do you have to be sorry for? 

I have thought deeply in search of a word that could replace sorry when it is being used in these unnecessary situations, but I have yet to find one that holds the same appeal. So for lack of better findings, I have decided to scrap the word all together! 

From now on I am NOT sorry! I am NOT apologizing for my thoughts, for my children, or for the traffic on the way to a meeting. I am NOT going to feel remorseful for speaking my mind, or making a choice, or cancelling plans. I am done with sorry entirely if it pertains to an issue that I can not control, or a topic towards which I feel no regret. I will save my “sorry” for when it matters most. 

I will save “sorry” for the times that I hurt my partner when it was not my intention. I will save my “sorry” for moments when I truly know an apology is needed to mend someone’s emotions. I will save “sorry” for the point when I truly feel shame in regards to my actions. Until then… to hell with you, I am NOT SORRY I said this!

An Apple a Day…Keeps Insanity Away???

OK I have a small bit of ranting to do tonight. I was chatting away on the phone with a friend while I read about people’s pet peeves. I stumbled across a site that listed 500 of them called among this extensive list was “celebrities that name their children stupid things”, and it got me to thinking about the stupidest name I have ever heard for a child. There are many strange names out there, and usually I appreciate that parents want their children to be unique, (I myself chose Chase and Londyn as names for my children because they are not commonly used, and create individualism for them in a busy world) but I truly think there is one celebrity who pushed the envelope a little too far. 

Now before I tell you who it is, I must state that I find this person to be very talented, but I am seriously questioning their sanity at this point. The more I thought about this poor child’s name, the more distress I felt. I can honestly say I feel sorry for this child having to grow up with such a peculiar title…. 

And so the K8 award for the worst thing to name your child goes to….

Gwyneth Paltrow, for naming her baby Apple

Honestly. APPLE? What was truly going through her head? When this beautiful child enters the world you look at her and say, “Hi Apple” WTF??? I am sorry but that is beyond ridiculous! It is absolutely absurd! Was this poor woman hungry? Was she under the influence of pain medication? Was she suffering from postpartum depression? Clearly no sane person would honestly name their child Apple!! Is this a joke?? 

I am aware that the child is a celebrity, she is always going to have attention of some kind, but did ever occur to her parents that she may desire a somewhat “normal” life in the future??? That goal will be rather difficult with a name like Apple!! There is not much normalcy involved there. 

Consider the possibility of the child wanting to follow a more serious career path, could you truly take a crown attorney seriously if their name was Apple? What if the poor child wants to be a teacher? Imagine the amusement of her students when they discover their teachers name is Apple? Like seriously APPLE?  I truly just do not comprehend what in God’s name this woman really could have been thinking. I just can not imagine that any person with any form of intelligence or life experience would want to name their child something so absolutely ridiculous as APPLE!


Sorry but someone had to say it!!! I know I am NOT the only person that thinks this way!

Skinny Bitch!!

I know it may seem bizarre for some people to hear me complain about people commenting on me being “so skinny,” but just like a comment about someone being “too fat” these remarks can be malicious. 

For those of you who don’t know me, I just had a baby six months ago. Her name is Londyn, and she is amazing! (More about my children in the future though, back to my bitching.) I am 5 feet tall, not 5’1 not 5’ ¾. I am 5 feet tall exactly. I am also 93 lbs. *PLEASE NOTE* I AM 5 FEET TALL! 

Lately I have been getting a lot of comments on how skinny I am. Now at first this made me feel good, I just had a baby, I needed some reassurance. But honestly, I am over it now, and some of these remarks are being said with a note of sarcasm that is quickly getting on my nerves. Not to say some are not just good-natured remarks or observations to the obvious, but I can clearly see that not all of them are. 

I have been asked a considerable number of very rude questions over the last few months, especially when people see I have a new baby. I have been asked whether I eat? Am I anorexic? Am I sick? How am I SO DAMM SKINNY! I am just wondering why people are so brash when it comes to commenting on a skinny person’s weight, but they tiptoe around an overweight person. If I walked up to an overweight friend and asked “Why are you SO DAMM FAT?” I can assure you I would probably not get an answer when I awoke from the consequence. 

There are some people who have tried to mask their foul remarks in a compliment, like because I am skinny I must have no brain apparently, for example: “Oh I would never fit in to those jeans, because I have a butt.” Hmmmm….Thanks! I can see your ignorance clearly, even with your “big butt” in the way. 

Perhaps I am taking these comments the wrong way, don’t get me wrong no matter the meaning I truly don’t care, I am happy and healthy, I have energy and I eat….A LOT! So what others think really means zilch, but perhaps I am overreacting. Perhaps, but I doubt it. I am not known for accepting when I am wrong even if I were! 

What it comes down to is that people really don’t need to tell me how I look. Do they honestly think I do not own a mirror? I do, and trust me I didn’t get it from the local fun house either. I am well aware of how I look. Should I walk around commenting about how they are “so fat”, “so large breasted” or “so curvy”????? I think not.

Apologies to all those who give these comments with good intention, but in all honesty I would rather have people comment on my intelligence, than my appearance anyway.

People have really odd opinions. They tell me I’m skinny, as if that’s supposed to make me happy.
Angelina Jolie

You Twitt

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Twitter: to talk lightly and rapidly, esp. of trivial matters; chatter. –   

I have to be honest with you. This is not something I am proud of, not something I like to admit to people, but I feel that if you are going to be following my blog there is a certain level of honesty I owe you. I don’t understand twitter! There I said it. Sure I get the basics, it is simple status updates. That is it for me though; I don’t fully understand the concept.    

I use twitter and I enjoy the thrill involved with sharing what I am doing with the world, I get excited when I have new followers, and I enjoy reading other users thoughts, or ideas in the 140 words you are allotted to write. The one major thing that gets to me is the replies, when I see @whoever on a tweet, I don’t understand the concept of this, I don’t know if it is some inside joke that is just going over my head, or if I am just a twit myself for not seeing what others clearly see. I have tried to reply to other users tweets on numerous occasions, but I never seem to get any responses myself, and so I am unsure if I am doing what I am supposed to??? 

It is shameful, I know. I generally consider myself technologically advanced. I know how to use my computer, cell phone, and even my cell phone as a computer. I am an avid Facebook junkie, and I have no issues finding interesting sites on-line to make use of on a daily basis. I have created simple websites in the past using HTML, and I have a number of popular electronics that I know how to hook-up and even use. But put me on twitter, and tell me to do something other than a basic post, and I am LOST!   I have followers on twitter, I update regularly, I even follow a number of very interesting people myself, but I just don’t get it! It seems to be the exact same concept as a Facebook status, but in a different place. It is one of the most talked about social networking sites in the world, yet it is so basic but complex all at once.  Maybe that is the issue; maybe I am just trying to make it more complicated than it needs to be. I tend to do that you know. Perhaps it is just that simple! I guess it doesn’t matter really, I just feel like I am the only person in the world who “just doesn’t comprehend” why this site is SO amazing.   Just a thought!