Inappropriate Outbursts


Today, during a relaxing afternoon outing it was brought to my attention that I may have an issue with people pointing out my faults. I won’t lie to you, I was already somewhat aware of this fact before this conversation took place.

I have never been the type to take criticism with a smile and a nod, unless it is regarding my writing. For some reason I can handle someone completely ripping my writing apart without a bother in my bones, but point out something I am doing wrong on a personal level and I have this unexplainable need to defend myself… even when I know that what is being said is true, even when the person is right, and even when I know that I am completely wrong. (yes I admit that I am sometimes wrong)

Why? I am unsure why I do it… I think that I have this overwhelming need to explain myself, it’s as if I ‘have’ to be understood. I often find myself explaining (or excusing) even the most idiotic of actions on my part, like I am just trying to make the other person see my reasoning or my train of thought.

There are times when I wish I could just shut-up and listen to people when they tell me what I am doing wrong. I wish that I could just take what they say and use it as a lesson… not that I don’t hear them I do, not that I don’t use this constructive criticism as a tool to better myself or improve from my mistakes, of course I do… but do you think I will tell ‘them’ that??? Never!

I am like a lioness with too much pride.. I will fight till death just to prove my point, just to show someone how I feel or what I am thinking. I will bicker and battle for ages just to express my opinion on something… I don’t mean to do it, I just have a natural need to debate…. I really think I was born to be a politician or a lawyer or something along those lines.. something that allows me to argue with people and share my point of view, a career that lets me convince people that I know what is best, not only for myself but for the world on a whole… Well I guess writing can have the same effect in a sense, and probably a lot less consequences too!

I don’t know why I felt the need to share this fact with you, the truth is this is a part of me that is probably never going to change… although I would like to learn to take peoples criticism with more grace, the part of me that desires a good debate will never fade!

Just another piece of myself I figured I would share…..

 

Writer’s Block


I have been suffering from a spell of Writer’s Block. As many writers know this can be a very frustrating situation. Lack of inspiration causes me a fair amount of stress. I hate not being able to write. I often sit staring at a bank screen with no idea what to write. Sometimes I know what to write but each time I try to word it, it comes out all wrong, leaving me still staring at a blank screen!

While suffering these moments, which thankfully I don’t suffer from often, I tend to get a little bit depressed, I get snappy at my family, and miserable with my life. I am a bit hard to deal with during these times, even more than I am regularly….I pity those around me at these times.

You see, writing is my way of relaxing. It is my outlet from stress, my ‘me’ time once the kids are in bed, and my escape from reality. It is the way I let the day, and my emotions, just release. I need to write!

That is why during this bout of Writer’s Block I decided I was not going to sit back and just allow it to swallow me.  No! I decided I was going to take action and fight this monster that chose to burrow inside my mind for the moment, and so I set out on a mission to force myself to write through this wall…

Born from this fight is another blog of mine that I invite everyone to check out… Perfectly Prompted is my fight against writers block. I decided that I was going to force myself to write as much as possible using writing prompts I found online. (and I have discovered there are many to choose from) With the help of these prompts I have found that, not only am I writing more, I am writing better. I am experimenting with different styles of writing, and I am expanding my personal portfolio. It has been an exciting beginning so far and I am looking forward to where it will lead me… You can view my other site Perfectly Prompted …. Here I will be adding my own prompts for you to try out, as well as a list of the sites I have been using. I have posted my responces to the prompts I have tried, and the site that supplied them for me. I know that wordpress offers daily prompts as well and they are excellent, but many times I am not in the mood to write about what I am told to write about, or that specific prompt may not fit my mood, and so it can be helpful to seek out a different kind of prompt that inspires me.

I hope you will check out Perfectly Prompted and I hope that it may help someone else if they are suffering from Writer’s Block. If nothing else I hope it will give you a glimpse into who I am, maybe some inspiration, and possibly some laughter along the way…..

so until next time….

Write On…..

A Family Affair


I Think I Love You

Image via Wikipedia

I scheduled this to post tomorrow for my other site Perfectly Prompted… but I thought I would post it here today, it is a creative writing prompt I found online that involves finding your position in your family and giving yourself a label, then label and explain the other members of your family as well… it will give you a little insight into my life, and that of my family… and perhaps inspire you to write your own family label story!

Enjoy!

Creative Writing PromptDescribe your position in your family. Label yourself, and other family members and describe these labels.

(From: Free Creative Writing Prompts – family)

I am the youngest child. My older sister was adopted long before I was born under the belief that my mother could not bear children. My sister was always the good one, and the worrier. She was a well-behaved, logical child, I think, in comparison to me, but she has always had worries and stress of some kind. She went to school, she behaved for the most part, and she never got into serious trouble. She had her moments of rebellion, but she had fear in her, fear of the consequences of her actions, but she was kind and caring and now shares her love with 5 children as a single mother. That fear she had inside her is something that I have always lacked.

I would be best described as the “wild child.” I had an outgoing personality and a headstrong attitude towards life. I was, (and still am) the one to act before thinking things through. I was smart, but I failed to apply my intelligence for lack of inspiration, true still to this day. I was bored with the education I was receiving and I gave up on trying to hide this fact once I hit high-school. I would skip school, I partied, I got into trouble,and I left home a number of times in search of some sort of adventure. I was creative and spontaneous, I longed for excitement and sought it out at every opportunity. Not much has changed with me as I’ve grown, I can still find trouble from miles away (though now I can at least see it coming) and I still act before I think. I have a rebellious outlook on life, and I procrastinate like no one else I have ever know. I have a big heart though and generally speaking, my intentions are good, but I am a bit bossy and I like to be in control, a trait I think I get in part from my mother.

My mother is the dictator of our family. She is a headstrong woman with an intelligent mind. She likes to be in control and enjoys sharing her opinion. Though she backs down too easily sometimes instead of fighting for what she believes in. Her and my father, who is the laid back member, have been married for over 35 years. They are the true story of opposites who attract. Where my mother is outspoken and opinionated, my father is a ‘keep to himself’ kind of man. He has a witty charm and friendly eyes and rarely gets angry. My mother has always taken pride in having a clean, well presented home, and shares my creativity, she utilizes it through craft projects, but also tends to procrastinate as I do, and so many of these projects get stored away in the hopes of one day finding their way to a craft booth at a local market.

Since leaving my parents home I have gained my own family. I am still the wild child of this pack, but my rebellious nature has settled in a different sense. My boyfriend is the grump of our group. He is a chronic worrier who allows stress to rule his world. He finds it hard to let go of little things, and he is a stricter parent then I. Though he can sometimes over-react his intentions are always for the best, and he simply strives to create a happy environment with well-rounded children. My son, who is 7 is the dreamer of our little clan. He inherited my wild imagination and uses it in everything he does. He can create an entire world inside his mind and play for hours there. He also gained my love for writing and has become a very creative little boy. He is though a tad bit spoiled from years of just ‘mommy and me.’ and has a hard time following directions as he always has his head in the clouds. We have to constantly remind him of the simplest rules lately, and he is an overly sensitive child, so often times getting in a small amount of trouble feels like the end of the world to him. It is hard sometimes to watch him create this devastation over nothing in his mind, and still hold my ground for the punishment… but I think he knows that, and so I do my best to follow through.

Lastly there is my daughter, who is almost 1 year old. She has the face of an angel, but is sneaky like a fox. Already I can see her intelligence, and amazing personality. She is funny and outgoing, and she is constantly watching the world around her. She is the joker of our group, always putting a smile on our faces, even at the worst of times.

My family is often times kooky, we have our moments and most certainly our faults. We disagree much of the time, and we can fight like champions. But we share love, caring and understanding for one another. We support each other, even when we dislike the choices that have been made. We are strong and happy as a family and that is all that really matters to me.

Hot Shot!


It’s a sad situation that on average most Americans know more about celebrity gossip than they do about politics, history, or current events combined.

The world today is celebrity obsessed… every where you turn there is an abundance of celebrity gossip to be found. Every supermarket has shelves at the cash register that are stocked full of celebrity gossip magazines. You can’t purchase potatoes without noticing bold bogus headlines about one celebrity or another. You are constantly bombarded with media images of perfection gone bad, stories off celebrities gone wild, and tales of which star is currently in rehab. It’s truly sickening!

I am aware that along with the choice of fame, comes the choice of failed privacy, but I think that it has been taken too far. Societies obsession with celebrity has costing people their lives, (Princess Dianna for example) destroyed marriages, and caused countless self-esteem issues in young women today who are trying to live up to unrealistic standards. You have to feel a bit sorry for these people, because although fame is a choice they made, I am sure that they never expected the actual extent of severity it would entail.

One thing I must say on a side note is that these celebrities have it all wrong…. the more you try to hide from the public eye the more they are going to seek you out… why? because the rarer the pictures of the celebrity, the more they are worth… it goes hand in hand with popularity as well the more famous you are the more people are going to want to know about you…. If you are choosing fame as a career, you need to be prepared for the scrutiny that comes along with it, and accept that; although you are going to long for privacy, you are probably not going to get it… sad as that fact is, it is just that…fact! (A sick fact, but a fact just the same!)

But none of these ‘facts’ explain why we put these people up on pedestals and thrive on the drama of their lives. Why we as people feel that they are any better than us, and why week after week celebrity gossip magazines filled with over exaggerated lies sell millions of copies straight off the supermarket shelves…

These people are no different than we are, they work hard to make their money, they have families and feelings just like you and I. They worry about what they are going to wear, or what they should have for dinner. They stress about their work, and their weight. They raise their children and they live their lives….All while under an extreme amount of pressure, yet we sit here and imagine that we are them, we fantasize that their lives are perfect, and we dream about how happy we would be if we could just trade places with them for a day. We relish in the glory when they succeed, and we are captivated when they suffer, often to the point of finding glory in another persons pain… We as people know more about what is going on with Brad and Angelina than we do about the current state of the war. We pay more attention to the dramatics of Lindsay Lohan then the dramatics of our sad excuse for a government. We immerse ourselves in these people’s lives as if they owe us something, like we have the right to know, see, and stalk every detail of where they go and what they do…

Having some interest in your favorite actor is acceptable, curiosity is natural, and fans are what creates such amazing movies as we see today, and allows these people to enjoy doing what they have always dreamed of, but try putting that same interest into the world around you, into the way your country is run, or the state of the earth as it quickly deteriorates. Try taking the time to focus on something that actually matters, something that makes a difference, because when the time comes that the war expands, or the effects of the damage we have caused our earth start to take over, it won’t matter one bit which celebrity is having an affair, how many times Britney has gone crazy, or who is showing a baby bump… have some intelligence, and at the very least some respect….

To Shave or Not To Shave??? That, is the question!!!


 

Oh the problematic pondering of women…..

How many times have you had this exact argument with yourself while trying to decide whether or not it is actually necessary to shave your legs??? I know that I have been known to come up with some extravagant excuses to not shave on some occasions. Excuses such as “well I am wearing pants anyway.” or “No one is going to be rubbing my legs so whats the point?” There is the “It’s not that long.” excuse, which goes hand-in-hand with “It’s blonde/light anyway, no one will notice it.”

All of these excuses are acceptable reasons to avoid shaving for a day or two, but ladies if you are beginning to resemble a woolly mammoth please, for the love of God, JUST SHAVE YOUR LEGS!

Shaving takes us what…. 3 minutes total…. yet it is something that we constantly put off until we can put it off no longer… why do women hate shaving their legs so much? Is it the bending, twisting and contorting that we can not handle? Is it the cuts and scars of slip ups from the past that cause some deep rooted fear with in us, causing us to create outrageous excuses to flee furry from the confines of the shower stall leaving the razor shining in the hot mist? What is it that makes such a simple task turn into a personal battle???

Hopefully the above chart will help you through your next battle with self as you fight to find the perfect excuse to NOT shave your legs!!! Enjoy!

Be Mine….. Valentine!


After reading a Valentines post over at Lori Dyan’s Blog I decided that I would pound out a love post of my own.

Valentines Day has never been my strong point. Living with unrealistic views of romance inspired by Disney Movie lies, I have always longed for a knight in shining armour to arrive on a stallion and sweep me off my feet. I have held images of flowers, fancy dinners, and diamond rings in my mind for as long as I can remember, and I have always been disappointed…..

I am admittedly a hopeless romantic, in the sense that I want romance but I don’t want to have to do any of the work. I have had high expectations of Valentine’s Day my whole life and these dreams have never become a reality… I understand the consumerism that this holiday is built around, I understand that it does not take diamonds to profess your true love, I even understand that I (with my idealistic imagination) put far too much faith in the men in my life…. and so I let these dreams fade as the years passed by.

Today, two kids and many years later I have a different desire on Valentines Day. Now, instead of flowers, (that will wither and die) fancy dinners (that will digest and be forgotten) and chocolates (that will cause cavities) I expect much simpler things…. The best gifts I could ever receive on Valentines Day are…..

  • Time to myself – If I don’t have to get the kids ready for school, make dinner, or do even one of the other 2000 boring things that I do each and everyday, I am a happier person. The simple act of allowing me to sit and relax is one of the best gifts I could ever receive.
  • A unstressful dinner – Hand in hand with time to myself, if you cook me a nice meal (or any meal) I am a happy mama.. Cooking dinner is the most stressful time of the day for me. It seems to be the time when the kids don’t want to entertain themselves, the phone starts ringing, and everything starts going wrong. If you can take that from me, I am yours for life…. plus food is the easiest way to my heart!
  • A good book – Forget the flowers and the candy, if your going to buy me a present get me a book. There is nothing better than curling up with a good book and just getting lost inside the story.
  • Sleep – If I wake up anytime after 7:00a.m. that is a gift. If you let me sleep till 9… It like a little piece of heaven!
  • A break from the chores – If I were to come home to a clean house with dishes done and garbage taken out, that would be a perfect Valentine’s Day treat….

It’s the simple things that matter now. It’s not about diamonds, and daisy’s. It’s the thought that matters, the care and the appreciation that are important now. Maybe in the land of Disney you need a knight in shining armour, but here in my world a man in tin foil is often enough!

Things I Hate About the City


 

My recent move to the city has made me a happier person. I love the hustle and bustle that the city offers. I love the busy vibe, the chaos, and the constant movement. I love the fact that there is always something to do, somewhere to go, or something to see. I love that there is never silence, and that you are never alone. With all that there is to love about the city, there is still plenty to complain about as well. There are a few things that I don’t love about the city….

  • People who don’t move out of your way on the sidewalk The first thing I noticed about the city that I dislike is the fact that as you are walking down the sidewalk people make no attempt to move out of your way. You can be an 80 year-old grandmother, wheelchair bound, or mother with a stroller and it doesn’t matter, they will not move to allow you to pass. People will walk directly in the middle of the sidewalk and crash into you instead of stepping to the side and allowing you to pass. This is especially true when you are walking in the same direction as the ignorant person. Common courtesy consists of stepping aside to let someone pass if they appear to be going at a faster pace than you are, it’s simple and it doesn’t slow you down. Standing aside for a moment is not going to cause you to be late for work or miss an appointment, and it could actually help the other person arrive at their destination on time … Even more disturbing is the fact that parents are teaching their children these poor manners. Each day after picking my son up from school I am bumped, barged, and plowed over by children as they flee the field and head for home… Now kids are going to be kids, but my son knows that you move aside for someone as they approach you on a sidewalk, it’s just polite.
  • Everyone always being in a hurry to get somewhere – Another thing I have noticed about the city is; that although I love the constant hustle and bustle, chaos, and action, people always seem to be in a rush to get somewhere. People watch in a city for an afternoon and you will notice that people are always rushing somewhere. No one ever seems to be wandering at a slow and relaxed pace taking in the world around them and enjoying the sights as they pass by. People are rushing about, without much attention to anyone or anything that they pass. There are times when I am in a hurry, yes of course, but here in Toronto it almost seems constant, as if there are never enough hours in the day. I think that it bothers me for a few reasons; First off the BF is one of those people who is always in a hurry to get everything done, or get where he is going. He rarely takes the time to browse a shop, watch a sunset, or smell the flowers. (so to speak) Where I prefer to stop and look in shop windows, touch items of clothing on a rack, talk to strangers, and take in the world around me one piece at a time. I fear that with all the rushing around people will miss the beauties that life has to offer, all the simple things that we take for granted each and every day. I just don’t see the point in rushing through life, why hurry to get somewhere all the time? Life is too short; if you run through life you will realize that you missed important moments. (maybe simple moments, but sometimes it is the simplest moments that change our lives)
  • The stupidity of city drivers – This is a steady source of stress in our household. It seems that no matter where you go, how you go, or what time you attempt to get there, here in the city there is always traffic problems. What really amazes me is how it is possible for traffic on a highway or major roadway to come to a complete stand-still!!! Accidents, construction, and minor hiccups are not an excuse to rubberneck or stop dead and hold up a whole line of cars behind you. Drivers in this city are insane…. (Sorry, maybe not all of you… but a large number) Where people refuse to move aside on the sidewalk, drivers on the road are often overly polite. Just the other day we were driving along and we were instantly stuck in a traffic jam that ran about 16 blocks… the cause (as far as I could see) was people stopping to allow other cars to turn in front of them. Now although it is courteous to allow a driver to turn off a busy street on to a side road, it is not courteous to allow 24 cars to turn left, thus holding up another 24 cars behind you!!! Another major issue is the fact that this city allows people to park on both sides of a narrow road, this causes confusion, chaos, and issues all around. With cars parked on both sides of a narrow two lane road, only one car can navigate through at a time, this causes issues because a lot of the time drivers cannot seem to figure out whose turn it is to drive, it’s not exactly rocket science but apparently it is difficult to grasp for some drivers. This also goes for streetlights that are not working properly… why can people not figure out what they are supposed to do in this situation?? Is it not on the driver’s test??? I am sure that it is a pretty standard piece of information…. Needless to say driving in Toronto is an adventure in itself, and basically unless you have unlimited time to arrive at your destination, you should probably take the bus!
  • The lack of compassion – People in the city are cold… period. I wrote before about a local morning show that went outside with a video camera and attempted to find a person on their way to work with a smile on their face… look around the city as you travel, a happy smiling face is a rare find here. People are just unfriendly! People here do not say hello as they pass, there is no smile or nod, no chit chat, or small talk for the most part. There is no warmth, comfort, or compassion for one another. Walking around here in the city makes you realize how small you really are in this giant world. You are anonymous… it’s almost creepy sometimes.

With all there is to complain about when it comes to life in the city, there is plenty that I love thus far. Despite the ignorance and the confusion, walking around and exploring the city gives me a sense of exhilaration and independence that I can’t find anywhere else… I love the big buildings, and the bustle of traffic, I love the chaos of people as they dash across a busy street. I love the sense of adventure and the mystery… This is my home and it makes me happy, even with all the calamity and quirks it provides!!!

So I Have Gotten A Little Side-Tracked…


Well my “post a day” challenge has fallen apart. Actually it is basically in a million pieces on the floor at the moment. So I figure instead of sitting in denial and driving myself insane with my conceived failure I am going to opt for a “post a week” challenge instead, because as my life gets busier the warmer the weather gets posting each day is just going to get harder and harder. So I admit defeat… life has won the battle against me and my writing, I accept it… but I won’t wave the white flag just yet, I will post at least once a week, and more if possible… so all is not lost, I am not giving up completely. I will strive for success one way or another!!!

In the meantime I will update you on the happenings at my house. C has settled into his new school perfectly. He has made friends and is learning new things each and everyday. On the way to school the other day he gave me a brief history lesson on the life of Martin Luther King Jr, and he has just begun a weekend Basketball camp that promotes reading in young boys.

The BF and I are still putting the finishing touches on the new place and we get a little more done each day. There are a few small things left to fix up and some items that we need to purchase, but it feels like home for the most part…. other than the annoying neighbours who are still driving me mad!!!

L has started walking full-out now, she took her first steps about a month and a half ago and now she is on her feet all hours of the day, she toddles around the house and even makes an attempt at running when she is really excited. It is funny to watch and a handful to monitor… hence the lack of posting….

Things are quiet (well for the most part) and happy around here. We added two new members to our family.. The BF got me two budgies that I named Milo and Twitter! They are just the cutest little things and they bring a smile to my face daily! Life is busy at the moment and about to get busier as the weather starts to warm up and I can actually get out of the house and explore the city….

So this is why I have been neglecting my posting lately, and why I am now choosing to accept that with two young children, the BF, the dog, two birds and a house to care for, I will not be able to post each day… well not if I want to actually post something with depth and merit anyway…. so I will write when I can (once a week at least) and that way I can write with the passion, enjoyment and substance I desire.

For now here is a picture of L toddling around the house carrying her little pink purse like the spoiled little princess that she is….

I Stay Up Too Late Too!!!


I Stay Up Too Late | Be A Fun Mum.

I was browsing the blogs I read on a regular basis when I cam across a post on Be A Fun Mum about staying up too late. The post above talks about how she is up late each night in order to get some “ME” time…. I do this as well, on a daily basis. I stay up well past the rest of the family just to get some much needed alone time. I enjoy the quiet of the night when the kids (and the BF) are sleeping. Sure I could get the same level of silence during the wee hours of the morning, but I am not much of a morning person anymore (probably due to all the late nights) and I much prefer the night time silence to the morning silence anyhow…. When I saw this post I thought I would share it, it is a great blog that I always enjoy reading and this post in particular really hit home for me, and caused me to wonder how many moms seek solitude in the night????