I have decided that I want to go back to kindergarten. God how simple life was then… Take for example the process of making friends in kindergarten. If you were lonely in kindergarten you simply approached the nearest person your age and said “Hi, want to play?” and Ta-Da! You had yourself a new best friend, it was as easy as that. No judgement, no interrogation, just unbiased friendship and trust, right from the start. There were no fears of how you looked, no questioning what to say, what you could have in common, or what they would think of you, it was simple and innocent. Moving to a new city I have discovered how lonely it can be, I have realized how much I miss having my friends around. (Not even around in person, but more the knowledge that if I needed to see them they were there.) Here I don’t know anyone at all (it is me the BF and the kids, and as I told you before the BF is not overly social!) so I am starting to feel a little cuckoo being couped up in the house all the time with no one to socialize with. Now I am by no means a shy person, I have no issue with chatting up anyone, anywhere, at anytime. I am very good at small talk, and I easily carry on conversations with the bank tellers, grocery clerks, coffee girls, or bus drivers, but unlike life in kindergarten, moving from small talk to friendship does not come as easily for adults. You can not very well walk up to a stranger and say “Hi, I’m Lonely! Wanna play with me?” In fact, I am almost sure it would get take the wrong way, and would most likely end up some sort of troublesome situation!!!
The innocence of our childhood, and the instant trust wear off quickly as we grow older. Friends stab us in the back, the news fills our heads with the negative outcomes of getting too close to strangers, and self-doubt causes us to hold ourselves back for fear of rejection. No longer to we look at other people as potential friends, we judge, we criticize, and we keep our distance.
Not only does maturity change us, our lives, and the world around us have changed. I was watching the local morning show the other day and the hosts were outside on the street looking for someone smiling… a very long time passed before they found a single person with a smile on their face. (Now I understand that it was early morning, it was cold, and many of the passers by had probably just rolled out of bed, but take a minute to look around you anytime of the day and seek out someone smiling! It’s not an easy thing to find.) A smile is the easiest way to lighten your mood, brighten your day (or someone else’s) and invite people to approach you. Yet many of us wander around so consumed in our thoughts that we barely notice the world around us, let alone the people we pass by.
What does it matter? Why am I rambling on about making friends you ask??? Well I’ll tell you why…..
Because I here I am in a new city, living a new life, and looking for a new opportunity to do something with myself (to be honest with you I am bored out of my mind being a mother and “wife”, but we’ll get into that at another time…) so why not take the time to make new friends along the way as well??? I am social by nature (very social) and I get depressed not having a large group of friends to talk to, share with, and learn from, which in turn makes my life as a mother and “wife” seem even more mundane.
When I was younger I dreamed of being famous, I longer for everyone to know my name, I wanted to be “someone”. I still have that dream, but on a much smaller scale… I don’t need the entire world to know who I am now. I don’t want the constant attention, the harassment of the paparazzi, and the ever lasting desire for privacy. What I do long for is to share myself with as many people as possible, to teach them what I know, and learn from them. To help them if I can and to make a mark on their lives if there is anyway possible. I want people to understand me, people to see me for who I really am, I want people who trust me, and whom I can trust. I want friends that I can spend time with when I am lonely, who I can turn to when I need help, who I can talk to, listen to, and open up to. I want to give a part of myself to as many people as possible in the hope that I can make a difference for them, even if it is just through a simple smile, or a friendly little chat…
It may seem silly, or possibly pointless to you, but for me it is my way of changing the world. A smile is a sign of love, and love can save the world. Friendship can cure deep pain and create strength that was never there before, and so as I walk down the street to take my son to school, go grocery shopping, or catch the bus I will smile. I will continue to chat to the driver, sales clerk, and the man mowing his lawn. I will make friends where I can, and brighten peoples day through tiny gestures. I will remember that making a difference means doing things that are both big and small, and that sometimes it is the smallest gestures that have the biggest impact on our lives.
Possibly, But Probably Un-Related Articles
- How Making Friends Can Help Depression (everydayhealth.com)
- Making Friends in Your 30s – Specifically Women (greenlivingpeace.com)
- A True Friend is (socyberty.com)
- Why don’t I want friends? (ask.metafilter.com)
- How to Make Friends (socyberty.com)
- Making friends in a thumb talking world (psychologytoday.com)
- Why are People Lonely? (socyberty.com)
- I can’t make friends at work! (getalegup.wordpress.com)
- Friendship answer: How do you go to a party only knowing a few people not very well and be able to fit in and make a lot of friends (wiki.answers.com)
- When making friends, gran knows best – not the Facebook generation (dailymail.co.uk)