Newsflash: Cheerleader Denied Justice (Again)


Newsflash: Cheerleader Denied Justice (Again) : Ms Magazine Blog – StumbleUpon.

The link listed above is something that I HAD to share… Read the story and imagine yourself in this poor girls shoes…

Then share it with everyone you know….

A brief overview for you; This is the story of Hillaire S, a 16 year-old high school student who was taken into a dark room at a party and raped by the school’s star basketball player while one of his friends pinned her down. Thankfully her cries for him to “stop” were heard by some other students in the hallway of the home, who broke in the door and scared the attacker away.

The boy, Rakheem Bolton, was charged with rape, as was his accomplice, but three months after the offense a grand jury chose NOT to indite either of the students on the alleged charges. An investigation showed that one of the jury members was the offender’s pastor, and his cousin happened to  powerful member of city council, under the employment of the District Attorney!

Though he was eventually forced to face court again on an appeal, he ended up pleading to a lesser charge of simple assault. Adding insult to injury this boy was allowed to return to the school campus between court appearances, and was even allowed to play during the schools basket ball play-offs. The victim, who was a member of the school’s cheer-leading squad, refused to cheer for her rapist during one of the teams games. The cheer she refused to chant???  “Two, Four, Six, Eight, Ten.. Come on Rakheem, Put It In!”

For refusing to cheer for attacker she was kicked off the cheer-leading squad by the schools Superintendent and other school administrators.

Her parents, outraged by the schools actions and lack of concern for their daughter’s safety and well-being in the first place, let alone in this specific situation, decided to sue the school for ‘violating her right to freedom of speech

Unfortunately the court did not side with the family and the case was dismissed, an appeal ended with a refusal to hear the case, and the families fight has fallen silent.

I was shocked by this story. I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised, everyday you find stories just like this one, that tell of a justice system failing those victims that turn to them for help, but it never fails to disgust me…. no matter how many times I read about it.

I think Naomi said it best with her comment on the original post, “This IS absolutely infuriating… but not surprising” and THAT is sad! Almost daily young men are getting away with unlawful and immoral acts all over America, because they are “star player” or have family members that are in positions of power, and it is not just teens that get this kind of unfair, unjust treatment… How many celebrities have we seen who have broken the law, and not suffered the consequences?? Money and Fame afford you freedom… That is the message this country sends!

In this case I believe that Awareness is the key to combating Rape, the more of a fuss we make as citizens, the more the government will HAVE to do to deal with the problem. NO ONE should EVER get away with touching or harming anyone, no matter who they, their family, or friends are!! I don’t care if this kids grandfather is the Pope, or if he were the Pope himself…. He should suffer the consequences for making this young girl suffer the way she had to…

And as for the school… I can not even fathom what I would do if I was in her families position. This school should be ashamed of themselves… Are sports stars more important to you than the morals and laws of life? You really want to send the message that it is OK to rape? What are you telling these children? Children that we entrust to you daily, children that we as parents send to you in order to help us instill strong values? Children that we educate through you in the hopes that we can ultimately create adults with respect, intelligence and a drive for success, and THIS is the message you send them?  There is NO excuse for this schools actions.. some might argue that this boy is innocent until proven guilty, but isn’t that right the same for this young girl? Why does she not get the same respect or freedom?

THIS GIRL‘S SAFETY SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRIORITY

Not the star player or score of the game!

I can not even begin to express the outright disgust that I feel towards this school for the actions they have taken, as well as the courts for their lack there of. They have literally taken this girls open wounds and poured lemon juice on them… forcing her, I am sure, to relive this traumatic experience over and over…. Also shocking is the court’s dismissal of the families lawsuit brought about by their daughters refusal to cheer for her rapist.. Money would be the very least way, in my eyes, that the school could even begin to repair the damage they have done…. This young girl should never have been in the position in the first place where she would have HAD to make such a choice.. Her right to a safe school environment was outright ignored for the schools need to have a winning basketball team!

It shows a complete lack of respect, and a major internal issue… Did this girl not suffer enough? Why should she have to relive this trauma daily, in public, without any sign of a caring adult standing by to support her rights at school? How does this school make the decision that basketball is more important that the safety and well-being of a young girl?

I can not wrap my head around this no matter how hard I try.. no matter what angle I look at it from…

It is JUST WRONG!


My heart truly goes out to this girl and her family, if it was my daughter I am almost sure that would be on trial for murder.. I only hope they can read these words somehow and see that they are not alone, that they are supported in their efforts to find justice. I pray that they may get some peace knowing that no matter what, justice WILL some how prevail in the end.. because no matter what happens….

What goes around, comes around!

***I hope everyone that reads this story will somehow share it. Blog it, share it on Facebook and Tweet about it… Don’t let this poor girl suffer any more than she already has.. show her that you support her… that the “right” thing will be done some how, some way!!***

RAPE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED…

SEND THE MESSAGE…

TAKE A STAND!

Women and Insecurities: An Overview of a Deep Rooted Issue


Low self-esteem is a big issue in today’s society, especially among women. Women are known for being insecure, you see it every time a woman asks “Does this make me look fat?” We are emotional creatures by nature, and we often rely on others to make us feel good. We turn to friends for support and reassurance, and often drive our partners mad with our constant need to pick ourselves apart.

Why do woman have such a negative view of themselves, and what can be done to change this negative thinking pattern? How do we battle this silent menace? and What is causing women to feel so low?

To define self-esteem is a very deep and thoughtful task; Self-esteem comes from the inside out. Self-esteem basically means; “you should not rely on another person to make you feel good about yourself, you should know that you are fine, even perfect, just the way you are”.Self-esteem is the ability to see yourself as the strong, sensual, sexy, smart woman you are, both inside and out. No matter your shape, size, color, or class level.

Take a long look in the mirror right now… What do you see?

What features do you like most about yourself physically? Emotionally?

What have you accomplished lately that makes you feel proud? What are your goals for the future?

Are you happy with the person you are, both physically and emotionally? Are you content with your life? Appearance?

Chances are at least one of these ‘simple‘ questions makes you feel uncomfortable. But Why?

Woman, for whatever reason, have historically been programmed to be hard on themselves, to find faults, and to down-play their accomplishments. It is put into our heads somewhere along the line that we should not be boastful, that we should not voice our pride in ourselves, and that we should only allow others to tell us when we can feel, and express, pride and confidence… This may sound outrageous to some of you.. and if it does than I am proud of you, because the truth is; a substantial number of women, of all shapes, sizes, races, and class levels, struggle with self-esteem issues on one level or another during their lifetime.

Often woman who express pride in themselves, or their accomplishments open are accused of being conceited. There is a big difference between confidence and conceit. Two very big differences that often get confused; Confidence is the ability to see your strengths and accomplishments, and the desire to want to share them with others. Confidence is pride in who you are, it is acceptance of yourself flaws, faults, and the whole package. Confidence only becomes conceit when the woman is not aware of the areas in which she still wishes to improve and grow, and she portrays herself as being perfect, Conceit is often a cover-up for low self-esteem, it is a defense mechanism for a deeper issue, and is often a person’s way of making themselves feel good, not superior.

Women come in all different shapes, we are different colors, we have different opinions, different dress sizes, and different lifestyles, but inside, each and every one of us is the same. The person staring back at you in the mirror should not be the soul of who you are…

I will tell you the story of Beth. Beth is a beautiful, intelligent, and successful woman. Beth has a great job, two wonderful children, and a loving husband. She drives a nice car, owns her dream house, and vacations twice a year as she desires. She has a wardrobe to die for, and the kind of life most women only dream of, but Beth is unhappy. Overcome by constant insecurity, Beth is about 30 lbs over her desired weight, she is constantly seeking reassurance that she is attractive from her husband, and even though he willing assures her on a regular basis that he loves her just the way she is, Beth suffers bouts of depression due to her dislike for herself and her negative thinking patterns. Beth can not see her accomplishments, she can not see her success, and she can not see her obvious beauty… Beth can not see past her dress size.

Then there is Ashley, a strong independent woman over forty, she is single by choice, and successful in her career. Ashley will tell you that she is happy with her life, she has no fear telling you that she is a good person, and she willingly shares details about her recent accomplishments, and her future goals. She admits that she has personal issues she needs to work on, but she feels she is a good person in general and is happy with her life overall. She will also tell you that she is single, not because something is wrong with her, but because she wants to find someone who ‘fits’ into her lifestyle, rather than trying to have her lifestyle ‘fit’ someone else. Ashley is also about 30 lbs over her desired weight.

How can two women who are both beautiful, brilliant, and successful have such different opinions of their lives, and themselves?

It’s Self-esteem….

Where Beth sees failure, Ashley sees a challenge, she sees a goal, and she sees success. Ashley sees her weight for what it is, simply a part of herself. If you ask Ashley she will easily admit that she wishes to lose a few pounds, but she will also tell you that ‘as long as she is healthy and happy it is not much of a priority to her at the moment.’ Ashley has the confidence to know that, although she may be a bigger dress size than she hopes to be, image is not everything.

I would love to find the person that decided women in magazines should be a size 3 and slap them silly. This tiny, ridiculous fact alone has caused more pain then it ever should have. Women unrealistically feel compelled to live up to this “Barbie Media” standard that doesn’t exist, when the reality of life should be who you are inside, and how you feel about yourself, not what you look like, what size you wear,or how big your breasts are, and certainly not what some ‘airbrushed Barbie Doll looks like in comparison!

Self-esteem is a core personality trait that is essential to our happiness and success as an individual. It is a major cause of depression in women, and the biggest obstacle that teen girls battle on a regular basis, and It’s no wonder with societies obsession with size and the media’s definition of beauty.

So how do we build self-esteem in a world that is constantly battling to break it down???

  • Accept who you are faults, flaws, and facts – Accept right now that your body ‘is what it is’, forget the size 3 dress you fit into when you were 12, and stop starving yourself in the hopes of becoming Kate Moss. Be yourself, and love yourself, every flaw, sag, fat cell, stretch mark, and pimple…
  • Get over what you have done wrong – Allowing yourself to make mistakes is the easiest way to learn, and grow. Accept that life may not be what you planned for yourself, and focus instead on what this has taught you. Take these mistakes and turn them into lessons for the future, and view the mistakes you will make in the same light… There will never be a time in life when you won’t screw up one way or another. Remember in life, “It is not that you fell in the first place that matters, it is how fast you got up to try again that counts”.
  • Take control of your choices – The number one mistake we all make is blaming others for our unhappiness. If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it change the way your react to it. There are always choices in life, it is up to you to make the best ones for yourself. Forget for a minute what others will think, and focus on how you will feel, base your decisions on that alone, and aim for the option that will create the most happiness in your life. Remember, if you are happy with yourself, others will be happy with you as well, and it will be easier for you to help others find their happiness… but remember happiness is only something you can create for yourself, you can not produce it for someone else, nor can they provide it for you.When you are happy though it will show and reflect on others, a smile is like an infectious disease, contagious!
  • See the silver lining – Every single situation has a positive point of view, it is up to you to find it. Instead of looking at something as terrible find three positives in it. No matter how bad a situation may seem you will always be able to find three reasons that it not all bad. Think first about the opportunity it presents, think about the growth it may allow, and think about the chances it may produce. Change and challenge can be difficult, and they sometimes involve pain, or even sadness. It is fine to address these emotions as they arise, but it is also important that you see the positive they represent as well. Positive thinking brings positive results, try it out, what have you got to lose?
  • If all else fails, Fake it! – If worse comes to worse, and you find yourself wallowing in self-doubt, fake confidence for a little while. Often times faking confidence leads to actually feeling confident. When you make something a habit it becomes natural, so walk with your shoulders back and your head held high, even if you aren’t feeling it. Talk and act like a confident, self-assured, person and eventually you will start to believe you are. Just as negative thinking becomes a pattern we easily fall into, positive thinking can be just as simple to achieve.. all it takes is a little imagination, consistency, and a bit of time.

Everyone suffers from low self-esteem at one point or another, the key is to seek help when it’s needed, and resolve to accept yourself for who you are. Don’t worry about what others think of your image, or your actions, all that should matter is how you feel inside. Most importantly don’t try to be something you are not, we were each created differently for a reason, embrace your uniqueness and celebrate your differences, don’t aim to change those things you consider flaws, instead look at how they have made you who you are today. Be the best person you can be, and do what makes you happy. Remember that you are in control of your happiness, and it is but a mere choice away, no one but you can create it, or break it, so don’t rely on, or expect others, to do it for you, (they can’t and usually won’t) set out to achieve it on your own.

You are strong, smart, and beautiful…. You are perfect, just the way you are!


Until Next Time….

Write On!

    To Shave or Not To Shave??? That, is the question!!!


     

    Oh the problematic pondering of women…..

    How many times have you had this exact argument with yourself while trying to decide whether or not it is actually necessary to shave your legs??? I know that I have been known to come up with some extravagant excuses to not shave on some occasions. Excuses such as “well I am wearing pants anyway.” or “No one is going to be rubbing my legs so whats the point?” There is the “It’s not that long.” excuse, which goes hand-in-hand with “It’s blonde/light anyway, no one will notice it.”

    All of these excuses are acceptable reasons to avoid shaving for a day or two, but ladies if you are beginning to resemble a woolly mammoth please, for the love of God, JUST SHAVE YOUR LEGS!

    Shaving takes us what…. 3 minutes total…. yet it is something that we constantly put off until we can put it off no longer… why do women hate shaving their legs so much? Is it the bending, twisting and contorting that we can not handle? Is it the cuts and scars of slip ups from the past that cause some deep rooted fear with in us, causing us to create outrageous excuses to flee furry from the confines of the shower stall leaving the razor shining in the hot mist? What is it that makes such a simple task turn into a personal battle???

    Hopefully the above chart will help you through your next battle with self as you fight to find the perfect excuse to NOT shave your legs!!! Enjoy!