People Never Cease To Amaze Me!!


Its been an awfully long time since I have written anything on this site and it kind of makes me sad. Life has, as always, been hectic but even more so now that I am a full-time college student and single mother of two. Still, this site has been my outlet for so long that I don’t want to just forget about it and have it fade away… So I am here now, and I am going to try to be here somewhat regularly to post and vent and share all of my crazy thoughts and ideas. Which is probably a good idea since bottling them up makes me crazy and saying them out loud in public can sometimes get me into trouble…

So on to the thoughts I am having this moment that brought me here in the first place…

I haven’t been sleeping well lately.. Okay let’s be honest, I have not slept well since my daughter was born 4 years ago but lately it has been really bad. I wake up several times a night and for a while when it first started happening I would lay there trying to force myself back to sleep but all that did was make me frustrated and spin the psychotic scenario wheels inside my head. So, lately I have taken to getting up out of bed and actually doing things until I feel tired again… Some nights it works and I am back in bed in a couple of hours, other nights I am up for the day from 3 am on… Those days are super fun, let me tell you.. and they create this nap, awake late, can’t sleep, nap cycle that is even worse than not being able to sleep in the first place…

Anyway.. Not sleeping is not the topic I am aiming to talk about here so let me get back on track.

While I am awake in the wee hours of the morning/night I tend to browse Facebook and other online sites for funny, stupid, entertaining and overall interesting information. Sometimes it melts my brain into mush, sometimes I learn something amazing and sometimes I am touched by the kindness of humanity… but other times I am appalled..

Today was one of those days. 

I came across a post on Facebook and it was a picture that a mother has posted of her son it had caption that stated his name and age (I think he was 3 or 4) and went on to explain that he likes to wear dresses and play with dolls and that she was perfectly okay with that. She said she wanted her son to know that he could be whatever he wanted and basically that she didn’t want the superficial constraints of society to determine his gender norms. She simply wanted her son to be happy and to do what made him happy…

This is NOT what appalled me… 

What appalled me was the pathetic response from the public about how she should be raising her child, how what she is doing is abusive, how she is going to “turn him gay” and how he is doomed to be bullied…

Seriously???

I have the utmost respect for this woman and any parent that can embrace their child’s choices so openly. I am sure it is not an easy task to watch your son walk around in a floral sundress but accepting that it is his choice, his right if you will, is an amazing act of parenting if you ask me.

This mother is not going to “turn her son gay”, I guess the person that posted this comment missed the memo but BEING GAY IS NOT A CHOICE!

Nor is she is not setting him up or dooming him to a life of being bullied.. EVEN IF he is still wearing dresses when he goes to school this doesn’t mean he is going to be teased anymore than anyone else..

And besides, maybe the person that commented this should consider Support Transgendertalking to their kids about gender variance and bullying so that hopefully ‘the boy in the dress’ won’t be bullied…

Kids can be mean but they are bullies because they are not taught to accept differences, or they are lacking attention, or because of some other outside factor.. Kids are not naturally bullies; we are not born with the mindset to discriminate, it is created over time in various ways. In fact, much of the time it is the parents attitudes and opinions coming out of the children’s  mouths…

There were of course the expected comments about God Hating Gays and the Bible verses to go with them. I am not religious so I can not hurl verses back that I am sure exist saying “do not judge”, or “love is love in any form” or something of that nature.. But what I can say is that the Bible is pretty damn old and the world has changed a great deal since these “rules” were created.. Don’t you think that God, who apparently created the world, would probably adapt his rules and opinions to fit the ever-changing ways of humanity??? Or in the very least strike every gay person down with a bolt of lightning if he truly did hate them so much!!!

Just sayin’.

My point here, other than ranting and raving, is that every once in a while I come across a post or comments that truly make me sad. People live inside little boxes and refuse to consider anything that doesn’t fit perfectly inside. When we live like this the only person we are harming is ourselves and the only ones that suffer are the future generations who have been taught that everything has to fit perfectly inside their little box.

Until Next Time…

Be Yourself; Explore Yourself.
Ps. There is a great post on gender variance in MacLean’s Magazine for anyone that is interested in the topic. You can access it HERE

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Drive-Thru Funeral Home Lets You Pay Your Respects on the Go | AutoGuide.com News


Of all the strange things the internet has opened my eyes to, this one surely takes the cake…. Is life SO busy that you NEED a ‘drive-thru’ funeral home??? Can you really not get out of your car to say Good-bye to a loved one??? Is a sad world that we live in these days… People don’t talk to each other anymore they text, and NOW you can’t even have a proper funeral where people spend time together reflecting on your life!! Tell me WHY is the world going mad???

Below is the article about the Drive-Thru Funeral home that disgusts me SO much….

via Drive-Thru Funeral Home Lets You Pay Your Respects on the Go | AutoGuide.com News.

Fame Claims Another Life – Amy Winehouse and the celebrity influence


If you follow the celebrity world, and even if you don’t, you are probably aware that singer Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London apartment July 23, after suffering a drug overdose. She was 27 years old.

Is this the role model you want for your daughter?

Amy Winehouse, born September 14, 1983, was most known for her song titled ‘Rehab‘ in which the young woman sings “They tried to make me go to rehab I said No, no, no.” Winehouse has battled an addiction publicly since she first entered the world of fame, and even had to cancel her European tour recently after a performance where she could only be described as “out of it.

Since her death headlines and status updates have declared “shock” and “bewilderment”. There has been an overwhelming amount of sadness and sympathy, fans, friends and other celebrities are remembering fondly the singers beautiful voice, but they are forgetting the facts…

Now I warn you in advance, this IS going to offend someone…

The truth is, there is NO shock. If you are shocked that a 27-year-old, heroin addict with more money than God died of an overdose you are living in a bubble and I am about to burst it.

This woman was not ‘fabulous, wonderful, or amazing’ as I have seen written on walls, statuses and pages all over the internet. She was a very messed up young girl that needed HELP not a record contract!!!

YES, it is sad that she died. Of course it is sad. I am a bitch, but I am not heartless, no one should have to suffer that way, but I don’t have sympathy because with all resources available in this world today, and especially with all the money she had, she could have gotten help for her addiction.

I’ll tell you what IS shocking….

It is shocking that every single day we as parents sit here and tell our children that drugs are bad. We tell them that drugs will get them nowhere in life, that drugs will kill them, that drugs will rip their future from them. We repeat constantly that if they do drugs they are doomed to be losers for life….

Yet, EVERYDAY our children are picking up magazines, watching television shows and listening to music that is promoting, creating and supporting celebrities on drugs...

Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and Paris Hilton are just the obvious examples. There are an ample number of celebrities that have been caught, or accused, of using drugs in the eyes of the media, and the eyes of our impressionable children.

The point is, These celebrities are supposed to be role models to our children. Young girls were watching Amy Winehouse, thinking she was cool, listening to her music, and aspiring to be like her…

Would you want your daughter looking up to a heroin addict?

Our children are looking up to all of these celebrities, turning to them for guidance, living life dreaming of being ‘just like them‘ one day, and they are not presenting a very good image for our children to mirror.

Cocaine, Heroin, DUI‘s and Hookers are the norm in the celebrity world today. Domestic violence, rehab and repeat offences have become our headline news. There is rarely consequence to the actions, unless it is the fate that Amy Winehouse has now suffered. Rarely do courts do more than give these celebrities a light slap on the wrist, allowing them to step out of court unscathed and teaching the teens that closely watch them that being famous means doing whatever you please without consequences.

Sure, you can argue that drugs have always been a part of Hollywood, but have they always been a part of your neighborhood to the extent that they are today? Children can get their hands on Cocaine easier than they can a basketball or jump-rope now a days, and Hollywood isn’t helping matters at all.

Amy Winehouse should be an example. Producers should consider more than the fact that someone has a good voice. A good voice is a dime a dozen, just look at American Idol. If an artist is going to be signed to a label, put in a film or shown on television they should not be high on drugs.

I can’t point blame at the producers, though I am sure the dollar signs may have blurred their insights, it is the artists and celebrities themselves that are to blame as well. You enter the world of fame knowing the costs associated with it, the lack of privacy and the pressure that come along with celebrity status. You make the choice to give up normality, you have no one but yourself to blame if you can’t handle the heat. You are a ‘role model‘ and whether you like it or not there are young people out there who are looking up to you. There are pre-teen kids who want to be like you, who watch you and mimic you. Celebrities: pull yourselves together and show them what they can be besides a heroin addicted whore.

Perhaps I am being harsh, but it truly makes me sick because there are thousands of aspiring artists, actors and singers out there that would gladly trade places with these spoiled little brats and never consider shoving a line up their nose or a needle in their arms. If fame makes you so miserable than stop working, singing, or acting and go home, go hide, or just go away. Ten other people ‘just like you’ will gladly take your place, and easily fill your shoes.

I am so sick of seeing headlines about celebrity arrests, drug overdoses and DUI’s. It is time that celebrities step up and show our kids what ‘hard work‘ and ‘dreams’ really are. It is time that they start standing up AGAINST drug use rather than promoting it. It is time they accept that they are role models to young boys and girls, and time they consider the consequences of their actions.

No offence to Amy Winehouse, of course she had talent, and clearly suffered from the disease that is addiction. She was a heroin addict that should have never had the opportunity to influence our children and when they tried to make her go to rehab she shouldn’t have said ‘No, no, no…

My God, I’m a Country Girl! – City Living and the Cost of Chaos.


Broadway show billboards at the corner of 7th ...

Image via Wikipedia

The city can be a wonderful place full of life and excitement. It can also be an overwhelming place full of chaos and stress, for me it has been exactly that. I have enjoyed the time I have spent in the city, but living here has made me realize that no matter how much I try to deny it, I am a country girl at heart. This is a strange realization to me, as I was born in the hustle and bustle of the city. I grew up here and I loved my childhood. Our family made the most of city living, with constant outings and daily adventures. Despite my city blood lines I just enjoy the peace and quiet of the country to the chaos of the city any day….

Now when I say ‘country’ I don’t mean cows, chickens and bales of hay. I simply mean a ‘smaller’ city or town with less going on and quiet moments to enjoy. The city I moved here from held that for me. It is big enough that you have all the amenities you require, but small enough that you can enjoy moments of peace when you desire them.

I am just not cut out for the Craziness that is city living and here is why:

  1. You are ‘No One’ Here – When you are living among 2.5 million other people you have to deal with the fact that you are ‘no one’. Okay, maybe your someone to somebody, but he reality is that city living gives you this sort of feeling that you don’t exist. I feel like an ant among the grass, somehow lost in the chaos of the city. It is rare that you run into the same person twice, and finding a friendly face (which is a comfort I enjoy) is few and far between here.
  2. There is never silence – Especially where we have been living, there is never a moment where you can just ‘be’. Surrounded by constant noise of cars, planes and people, city life lacks that ‘silence’ that I took for granted for so long. Even if it is momentary, that silence is time to myself to just be with myself and enjoy the world around me. The never-ending noise of the city is enough to make a person crazy, and it clutters my head.
  3. Getting places is a journey in itself – Even to go to the grocery store has become a chore for me while living in the city. There is never a good time to shop. In a smaller city you sort of learn the busy and quiet times of your local stores and you work around the chaos. That is impossible here. It seems no matter what time I was going to the store there were herds of people, long lines and just general chaos… it is overwhelming, especially with children in tow. Not only is shopping a task in itself, travelling to the shops becomes an adventure as well. Buses, trains and streetcars are constantly packed with travelers that are in a mad rush to get from one place to another. You are crammed together to the point of bursting, it feels like you are sardines packed in a can. I never had a problem with crowds before, but I certainly do now. I don’t like people invading my space unless I invite them to do so.
  4. People are just not nice – Not to stereotype, but people in the city are ‘rude’! It is very rare that anyone says excuse me before plowing through you in line, no one stops just to chat, they hardly ever say hello, and Thank-you is some long-lost word that no one ever uses. Walking down the sidewalk becomes a hazard and holds its own risks of injury from hurried travelers who refuse to step aside. I have watched healthy people look away as an elderly person steps on to the bus. I have witnessed more ignorance in the last few months than I have seen in a lifetime, and it is sad. Has life become so chaotic for people that they have forgotten the basics of common courtesy? When a pregnant woman, elderly, or disabled person gets on a bus, you get up and offer them your seat, Period! It is not hard to do, takes only a second and certainly won’t kill you, nor will holding the door for the person behind you struggling with two children and 20 bags… Pull up people, seriously! Anyway… sorry about that rant that is a whole post in itself…
  5. It costs a lot – Living in the city is expensive. Besides the outrageous amounts you will pay in rent there is the cost of travel, the cost of food, the cost of everything. Even a simple family outing turns in to an extravagant affair… Though there are more resources in the city, I have learned that they are harder to tap into, with tight stipulations and odd hours of operation people complain that it is more difficult to find the help you need here than it is in smaller towns. Long waiting lists and large need make attaining what you need a very difficult process.
Maybe it is me personally, I guess I was just made for a simpler life. The city has its plus side, of course or 2.5 million people would not live here, but for me the pro’s just don’t out-weigh the con’s.
I think for me the city is more a place that I enjoy to visit, but don’t want to live. I like to explore and enjoy the chaos when “I” want to, but I like the escape and luxury of going back to a quiet home.
Do you live in a big city? What do you like/dislike about it? If you live in a small town, why do you enjoy it?
I would love to hear how others feel about city/country living, feel free to share your thoughts in the comment area.
Cheers!

The Argument Against Child Pageants… In My Opinion a Form of Abuse!


Low self-esteem is a serious issue in young girls, and a topic that I have addressed many times on my blogs, and in life. The effects of low self-esteem run deeper than most people imagine, and can cause irreparable harm to a woman’s emotional well-being years down the road. Beauty Pageants are a competition of ‘beauty‘, a judgment of looks and image that in essence decides who is beautiful and who is not. These competitions are a major cause of low self-esteem in girls today, and need to be addressed on a very serious level.

Is this what beauty means to you???

The popularity of beauty pageants has grown by leaps and bounds over the last decade. Long gone are the days of the teenage “Georgia Peach” pageants, replaced with ‘Little Miss Perfect” and “Toddlers in Tiaras.” The fight for beauty has seeped into our young children and is creating countless issues that will be prominent in these children in the years to come.

Girls as young as 4 and 5 years-old are being ‘forced‘ to succumb to spray tans and hair bleaching in the name of beauty. They are being made to look like skanky young adults, and are being robbed of their childhood in the whole sickening process. I used the word “Forced” because I don’t believe that any 4 or 5 year-old child would choose to go through what these young pageant girls must go through each and every day. Though many of them probably view the whole charade as “Fun” I believe that it is more due to the fact that they are being told it’s fun, then the actual enjoyment of the situation.

Now, I have no issue with pageants themselves. Beauty Pageants can be great for building confidence and self-esteem. Young girls having a chance to show-off their talents and intelligence is a wonderful thing. What I have an issue with is what these pageants have become over time… No longer is a beauty pageant about being cute, being talented, or being intelligent. These pageants are about bleach blonde unnatural hair, fake tans, false teeth and a Barbie doll image that doesn’t exist. I ask these parents of pageant girls,

What are you teaching your children?

The image you are creating for your daughter is unattainable, and because of this falsity it is bound to have disastrous results. You can tell a little girl wining doesn’t matter until your blue in the face, but through turning her into something she is not you are speaking volumes in the opposite direction… and that is exactly what you are doing while you are spray tanning you child and bleaching her hair… you are telling her that the way she is, is not good enough… No matter what you try to say otherwise… that is the message you are sending, consciously or not!

I have been asked numerous times if I think these pageants should be banned, and my answer is always “Yes“. I think they have to be banned, for the time being at least. I don’t think that these parents have a clue the damage they are doing to their children and without the outside world stepping in to stop it, I don’t think they ever will. These mothers of pageant girls easily defend their actions no matter how much factual information they are faced with to show them the damage they are creating. Parents will defend their children by listing the benefits that pageants provide, benefits such as; Confidence, self-esteem, poise, and drive for success. But they fail to consider the consequences that surround the teaching of such false values and shallow views. Pageants now a days don’t teach girls about confidence, they teach girls that having a “Barbie Doll” image is the way of the world. They don’t teach self-esteem, they teach girls that who they are is not good enough for success, that beauty is skin deep and that without it they are nothing. They don’t teach poise, they teach children that being fake is society’s preference, and being who you are inside is going to get you no where. Is this the lesson we want our children to have??? Is this the reality we truly want them to live in?

I could rant and rave for hours on the effects of pageants, but as I said it is not the actual pageant itself, it is what these competitions have become….

My daughter is beautiful. She has light brown hair, a gap between her teeth and often a filthy face. She toddles around the house getting into trouble and making a great big mess. To me she is perfect just the way she is… I would never consider bleaching her hair, or spraying on a tan just to gain a trophy to place in her room.

Should my daughter ever suffer from low self-esteem I will reassure her of her beauty by placing her in front of a mirror and pointing out her good traits. I will remind her of how smart she is, and the talents she has, and the health she should be thankful for. I will help her feel secure by acknowledging that everyone looks and acts differently, and I  will be sure she knows that images in magazines are airbrushed fakes.

How can you deny your daughter the joy of who she truly is inside? That is the part of her that makes her unique.

Perhaps these parents are living vicariously through their children. I believe that each has security issues of their own that they are trying to appease by turning their children into their image of perfection… They need to open their eyes and realize that their children are wonderful just the way they are, and that they can not take back years of their own insecurity by creating a “Barbie Doll” that is not real!

Teaching your daughter that being beautiful is a sure road to fame and success is only enhancing the issues we have in the world today. It is true society values beauty, but shouldn’t we as parents be trying to change that view? We certainly shouldn’t be encouraging it, as this is only worsening the issue at hand.

Look now at your children, look deep into their eyes, Can you honestly tell me that they are not amazing JUST THE WAY THEY ARE?

So yes, I say ban the pageants. Stop this ‘abuse‘. Children should be taught to love themselves as they are, not forced to live a false image that does not exist. Teach your daughters to respect themselves, accept themselves and most importantly be themselves… or this issue is going to repeat itself as it has in you!

Here is a great link about the effects these pageants can have on our young girls, please check it out:  http://www.momlogic.com/2009/04/child_beauty_pageants.php

 

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Newsflash: Cheerleader Denied Justice (Again)


Newsflash: Cheerleader Denied Justice (Again) : Ms Magazine Blog – StumbleUpon.

The link listed above is something that I HAD to share… Read the story and imagine yourself in this poor girls shoes…

Then share it with everyone you know….

A brief overview for you; This is the story of Hillaire S, a 16 year-old high school student who was taken into a dark room at a party and raped by the school’s star basketball player while one of his friends pinned her down. Thankfully her cries for him to “stop” were heard by some other students in the hallway of the home, who broke in the door and scared the attacker away.

The boy, Rakheem Bolton, was charged with rape, as was his accomplice, but three months after the offense a grand jury chose NOT to indite either of the students on the alleged charges. An investigation showed that one of the jury members was the offender’s pastor, and his cousin happened to  powerful member of city council, under the employment of the District Attorney!

Though he was eventually forced to face court again on an appeal, he ended up pleading to a lesser charge of simple assault. Adding insult to injury this boy was allowed to return to the school campus between court appearances, and was even allowed to play during the schools basket ball play-offs. The victim, who was a member of the school’s cheer-leading squad, refused to cheer for her rapist during one of the teams games. The cheer she refused to chant???  “Two, Four, Six, Eight, Ten.. Come on Rakheem, Put It In!”

For refusing to cheer for attacker she was kicked off the cheer-leading squad by the schools Superintendent and other school administrators.

Her parents, outraged by the schools actions and lack of concern for their daughter’s safety and well-being in the first place, let alone in this specific situation, decided to sue the school for ‘violating her right to freedom of speech

Unfortunately the court did not side with the family and the case was dismissed, an appeal ended with a refusal to hear the case, and the families fight has fallen silent.

I was shocked by this story. I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised, everyday you find stories just like this one, that tell of a justice system failing those victims that turn to them for help, but it never fails to disgust me…. no matter how many times I read about it.

I think Naomi said it best with her comment on the original post, “This IS absolutely infuriating… but not surprising” and THAT is sad! Almost daily young men are getting away with unlawful and immoral acts all over America, because they are “star player” or have family members that are in positions of power, and it is not just teens that get this kind of unfair, unjust treatment… How many celebrities have we seen who have broken the law, and not suffered the consequences?? Money and Fame afford you freedom… That is the message this country sends!

In this case I believe that Awareness is the key to combating Rape, the more of a fuss we make as citizens, the more the government will HAVE to do to deal with the problem. NO ONE should EVER get away with touching or harming anyone, no matter who they, their family, or friends are!! I don’t care if this kids grandfather is the Pope, or if he were the Pope himself…. He should suffer the consequences for making this young girl suffer the way she had to…

And as for the school… I can not even fathom what I would do if I was in her families position. This school should be ashamed of themselves… Are sports stars more important to you than the morals and laws of life? You really want to send the message that it is OK to rape? What are you telling these children? Children that we entrust to you daily, children that we as parents send to you in order to help us instill strong values? Children that we educate through you in the hopes that we can ultimately create adults with respect, intelligence and a drive for success, and THIS is the message you send them?  There is NO excuse for this schools actions.. some might argue that this boy is innocent until proven guilty, but isn’t that right the same for this young girl? Why does she not get the same respect or freedom?

THIS GIRL‘S SAFETY SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRIORITY

Not the star player or score of the game!

I can not even begin to express the outright disgust that I feel towards this school for the actions they have taken, as well as the courts for their lack there of. They have literally taken this girls open wounds and poured lemon juice on them… forcing her, I am sure, to relive this traumatic experience over and over…. Also shocking is the court’s dismissal of the families lawsuit brought about by their daughters refusal to cheer for her rapist.. Money would be the very least way, in my eyes, that the school could even begin to repair the damage they have done…. This young girl should never have been in the position in the first place where she would have HAD to make such a choice.. Her right to a safe school environment was outright ignored for the schools need to have a winning basketball team!

It shows a complete lack of respect, and a major internal issue… Did this girl not suffer enough? Why should she have to relive this trauma daily, in public, without any sign of a caring adult standing by to support her rights at school? How does this school make the decision that basketball is more important that the safety and well-being of a young girl?

I can not wrap my head around this no matter how hard I try.. no matter what angle I look at it from…

It is JUST WRONG!


My heart truly goes out to this girl and her family, if it was my daughter I am almost sure that would be on trial for murder.. I only hope they can read these words somehow and see that they are not alone, that they are supported in their efforts to find justice. I pray that they may get some peace knowing that no matter what, justice WILL some how prevail in the end.. because no matter what happens….

What goes around, comes around!

***I hope everyone that reads this story will somehow share it. Blog it, share it on Facebook and Tweet about it… Don’t let this poor girl suffer any more than she already has.. show her that you support her… that the “right” thing will be done some how, some way!!***

RAPE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED…

SEND THE MESSAGE…

TAKE A STAND!

I Apologize in Advance, This Post IS Going to Offend Someone…


I apologize in advance, this post IS going to offend someone. I would like to say up front that it is not my intention to do so, I am simply exercising my right to freedom of speech, and venting my frustrations.

This is not a funny post, I don’t expect the laughter that I  usually look for when I write my blogs. This post is sobering, serious, and is probably going to piss a few people off. I simply want to make myself heard. I want to share my opinion, you can disagree with me, you can be angry with me, you can agree or you can argue, it’s your choice and you can share those feelings if you please. Freedom of speech is a part of this amazing country we live in…. We are separate people, we don’t have to feel the same, think the same, or want the same things. This is my opinion, I don’t expect you to like it. I don’t write to have people like me, and I don’t share my opinion in the hopes that it will make you want to be my friend. I learned long ago that you can not please everyone all the time and you shouldn’t even try…

My Motto; ‘Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” I am who I am, love me or hate me, it’s not going to change me!

With that said I will state; this post is probably going to be considered, at least, PG 13 due to coarse language and mature subject matter.

Reader discretion is strongly advised! 

I am the furthest thing from racist. I don’t see color, never really have, I have friends from every corner of the earth. I believe that all people are equal, regardless of race, religion, or sexual orientation. I am a firm believer that everyone deserves an equal opportunity and a chance at a wonderful life….. What I don’t believe is that people should be allowed to come to our country and try to change the way we live. I don’t think it’s fair that I am not allowed to say Merry Christmas, and that schools no longer have Christmas Trees during the Holiday season. No one should tell me that I can’t sing the national anthem, or wear a cross if I desire to do so. My child should be able to celebrate the easter in school, and should be learning about Canadian history.

What I really disagree with is the fact that every single time I call any sort of government office I am greeted by an immigrant that came to Canada, is now working for the Canadian government, and can not speak, or understand, English, which is the main language of our beautiful country! Every time I have to deal with someone from the Canadian government on the phone it turns into a huge battle because the person on the other end of the line cannot understand what I am trying to say… In plain English!

Not to be rude, honestly I know how this must sound, but please read on and give me a chance to explain myself fully before you judge me as a rude, racist, self-centered bitch… (though rude, self-centered, and bitchy may be part of my personality, racist is not one of my traits)

My frustration is not directed at the fact that these people have chosen to immigrate to Canada in search of a better life. I have seen the way people in some of these countries they are fleeing from live, I have read and researched the suffering they have seen, and I can’t even begin to imagine some of the conditions they have survived, pain the have suffered, and the loss they have experienced. I have no issue at all with immigration, in fact, the more the merrier… I don’t even have a problem with these same immigrants securing jobs within our government sector and improving themselves, supporting their families, etc… I think that if you are coming over to this country you should be seeking a better life through employment and education, and you should be securing the best job possible to support you and your family. No, I have no problem with any of this…

What I DO have a problem with is that immigrants have come to Canada to better themselves, create a brighter future for their families and their children, and have become Canadian citizens by choice, and yet they still can not speak or understand fluent English, and they are answering the phones telling me what I have to do, and getting upset that I cannot understand them…

If you are going to come to another country and make the choice to become a citizen of that country, (that choice meaning you are leaving your life, your country and your suffering behind) you should be expected to live by that countries rules, and conform to that countries way of living.

  • Don’t come to Canada and tell us that we should change our flag.
  • Don’t demand that we will re-write our national anthem.
  • And don’t  expect us to speak your native language…

“You chose to come here because you felt it was a better life than you had in your country… if we immigrated to your country we would live by your rules.”

If you come to my house you are expected to remove your shoes at the front door, we do not smoke inside the house, and my children are in bed by 8 p.m….These are the rules of my house and visitors are expected to follow these simple rules. They maybe different from the rules in their house, but they chose to visit me..

I would not come into your home and refuse the rules you have laid out to live by.

  • I would not light a cigarette knowing that you do not smoke indoors.
  • I would not argue that your children should be allowed to stay up later.
  • And I would never dispute the routine that you chose to live by… it is your house.

I chose to visit you!

So why is it that these people chose to leave their country, (where their lives were obviously not fitting their needs) and come here to Canada, (or the U.S as they too face these issues) then try to turn this new country into their homeland?? No offence but If you liked the way things are were in your country, perhaps you should have stayed there!!!

Maybe I am being harsh, but I don’t think I am… I am not talking about religion. (which has nothing to do with the country you live in) I can understand not wanting to talk about the origin of ‘Christmas,’ being the birth of Christ, in schools. I understand the dispute of ‘The Lords Prayer‘ being recited each morning in public schools. (who are we to push the Catholic religion on someone forcing the assumption that it is the “right” religion) NO, that I understand!!! I am not arguing religious beliefs, I am arguing lack of respect, and the need for conformity. I am arguing that if you are going to choose to become a Canadian citizen, you must accept that, that choice means a new way of life.

  • It means a new language,
  • a new environment,
  • and a new set of rules to follow.

It means attempting to fit in to ‘their’ way of living, not expecting them to fit in to yours…. You chose to leave your country (probably for good reasons) I am not arguing that…but, if you are going to come here, you must accept that you made a choice to change your way of life overall, not just your address!

You can judge me if you want to, I really don’t care. I am not saying I don’t want immigrants in Canada, quite the opposite actually I love the diversity that immigration brings. I love the hope and the chance that it provides people who would otherwise have none.

I just feel that should you choose to come to Canada you should understand fully what it means to be Canadian.

  • You should speak and understand English fluently before you are given a job in a Canadian government office.
  • You should accept our flag as your flag now. Have respect and admiration for your history and your previous life, that’s perfectly acceptable, but don’t expect us to change our history or way of living to suit your needs. 
  • You should learn our national anthem in our language. OH! Canada was not written in Arabic, Hindi, Spanish, Italian, or Chinese.. It was written in English and in French… learn it in at least one of the two languages. 

Come to Canada, by all means, come! This is an amazing country with beautiful sights, wonderful people, endless opportunities, and an incredible way of life. We have amazing health care, a solid government (for the most part), a rich history, a strong pride, and great diversity… Yes, come, we welcome you! But as you sign your citizenship card, and swear your pledge to our flag, remember that you are making a choice to be Canadian. Remember that you do not  get to pick and choose what parts of our culture you can adapt to your new life, and remember that we are welcoming you into ‘our home’ with open arms. Make it easier on everyone and work hard to learn our language, live our ways, and be proudly Canadian…

Don’t be that person fighting on the phone because you can not understand what I am saying.
Don’t be that person fighting to change our anthem because it was not written with your language in mind.
Don’t be that person fighting to change our flag so it resembles your old countries just a little bit more. and,
Don’t be that person that spends their life living a lost dream.

Making the choice to be here is more than just a move, an environment, or an address.. It is a way of life that should be embraced whole heartedly.


The Rise of Size


The appearance of plus sized models has skyrocketed over the last few years. Long-gone are the days of Kate Moss and the heroin addict image that under-fed, bony models portrayed. Though the size of many models is still questionable, more and more magazines are opting to replace the skin-and-bones look with curvier, more realistic women in their spreads. 

Even Tyra Banks, one of the worlds former super-models, openly expressed her excitement at seeing heavier women in mainstream media. Banks, who has battled with her weight publicly for sometime, has stepped out of the ‘typical’ supermodel mold, and is boasting a beautiful, more curvaceous figure that she is proud to flaunt. Banks is the house of the hit television show ‘America’s Next Top Model‘, a show for which she fought successfully to allow heavier women the right to compete on.

This increase in plus size models is an amazing achievement for women everywhere. By employing women who are realistically proportioned the media is sending a strong message to the women of the world; the message that it is alright to be big. The message that you do not have to starve yourself to be beautiful, and the message that you are wonderful just the way you are.

Crystal Renn happens to be one of the most well know plus size models in the world, at 5ft 9in and 165lbs she doesn’t appear plus sized in person, but industry standards make it so. The specs of plus sized models are tight. Plus sized is considered to be any model over a size 10 (US) and generally 5’8 and up…

A ten may not seem so “plus size” to you, and it isn’t in the reality of things. Size 10 is among the average of women today, and this is even more reason for ‘plus size’ models to become the mainstream. Why should we promote a size 3 when the average woman is wearing a size 10? How is this promoting your product? How is this even realistic to everyday life for women of the world?

I personally say ‘Amen’ to the plus sized models of the world. Though not plus size myself, I have many friends who have battled with weight their entire lives. These are beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman who bear the right to be beautiful, not just within themselves but in the eyes of the world as well. I don’t see curves as a flaw but rather a feature, what is more beautiful than a woman with hips and a booty? How can we take a woman of average size and build and tell her she is too big to represent the women of the world? I hope that more magazines will step up and see that the true beauty of a woman is not in the size of her dress, but rather her natural beauty that shines from within.

Women and Insecurities: An Overview of a Deep Rooted Issue


Low self-esteem is a big issue in today’s society, especially among women. Women are known for being insecure, you see it every time a woman asks “Does this make me look fat?” We are emotional creatures by nature, and we often rely on others to make us feel good. We turn to friends for support and reassurance, and often drive our partners mad with our constant need to pick ourselves apart.

Why do woman have such a negative view of themselves, and what can be done to change this negative thinking pattern? How do we battle this silent menace? and What is causing women to feel so low?

To define self-esteem is a very deep and thoughtful task; Self-esteem comes from the inside out. Self-esteem basically means; “you should not rely on another person to make you feel good about yourself, you should know that you are fine, even perfect, just the way you are”.Self-esteem is the ability to see yourself as the strong, sensual, sexy, smart woman you are, both inside and out. No matter your shape, size, color, or class level.

Take a long look in the mirror right now… What do you see?

What features do you like most about yourself physically? Emotionally?

What have you accomplished lately that makes you feel proud? What are your goals for the future?

Are you happy with the person you are, both physically and emotionally? Are you content with your life? Appearance?

Chances are at least one of these ‘simple‘ questions makes you feel uncomfortable. But Why?

Woman, for whatever reason, have historically been programmed to be hard on themselves, to find faults, and to down-play their accomplishments. It is put into our heads somewhere along the line that we should not be boastful, that we should not voice our pride in ourselves, and that we should only allow others to tell us when we can feel, and express, pride and confidence… This may sound outrageous to some of you.. and if it does than I am proud of you, because the truth is; a substantial number of women, of all shapes, sizes, races, and class levels, struggle with self-esteem issues on one level or another during their lifetime.

Often woman who express pride in themselves, or their accomplishments open are accused of being conceited. There is a big difference between confidence and conceit. Two very big differences that often get confused; Confidence is the ability to see your strengths and accomplishments, and the desire to want to share them with others. Confidence is pride in who you are, it is acceptance of yourself flaws, faults, and the whole package. Confidence only becomes conceit when the woman is not aware of the areas in which she still wishes to improve and grow, and she portrays herself as being perfect, Conceit is often a cover-up for low self-esteem, it is a defense mechanism for a deeper issue, and is often a person’s way of making themselves feel good, not superior.

Women come in all different shapes, we are different colors, we have different opinions, different dress sizes, and different lifestyles, but inside, each and every one of us is the same. The person staring back at you in the mirror should not be the soul of who you are…

I will tell you the story of Beth. Beth is a beautiful, intelligent, and successful woman. Beth has a great job, two wonderful children, and a loving husband. She drives a nice car, owns her dream house, and vacations twice a year as she desires. She has a wardrobe to die for, and the kind of life most women only dream of, but Beth is unhappy. Overcome by constant insecurity, Beth is about 30 lbs over her desired weight, she is constantly seeking reassurance that she is attractive from her husband, and even though he willing assures her on a regular basis that he loves her just the way she is, Beth suffers bouts of depression due to her dislike for herself and her negative thinking patterns. Beth can not see her accomplishments, she can not see her success, and she can not see her obvious beauty… Beth can not see past her dress size.

Then there is Ashley, a strong independent woman over forty, she is single by choice, and successful in her career. Ashley will tell you that she is happy with her life, she has no fear telling you that she is a good person, and she willingly shares details about her recent accomplishments, and her future goals. She admits that she has personal issues she needs to work on, but she feels she is a good person in general and is happy with her life overall. She will also tell you that she is single, not because something is wrong with her, but because she wants to find someone who ‘fits’ into her lifestyle, rather than trying to have her lifestyle ‘fit’ someone else. Ashley is also about 30 lbs over her desired weight.

How can two women who are both beautiful, brilliant, and successful have such different opinions of their lives, and themselves?

It’s Self-esteem….

Where Beth sees failure, Ashley sees a challenge, she sees a goal, and she sees success. Ashley sees her weight for what it is, simply a part of herself. If you ask Ashley she will easily admit that she wishes to lose a few pounds, but she will also tell you that ‘as long as she is healthy and happy it is not much of a priority to her at the moment.’ Ashley has the confidence to know that, although she may be a bigger dress size than she hopes to be, image is not everything.

I would love to find the person that decided women in magazines should be a size 3 and slap them silly. This tiny, ridiculous fact alone has caused more pain then it ever should have. Women unrealistically feel compelled to live up to this “Barbie Media” standard that doesn’t exist, when the reality of life should be who you are inside, and how you feel about yourself, not what you look like, what size you wear,or how big your breasts are, and certainly not what some ‘airbrushed Barbie Doll looks like in comparison!

Self-esteem is a core personality trait that is essential to our happiness and success as an individual. It is a major cause of depression in women, and the biggest obstacle that teen girls battle on a regular basis, and It’s no wonder with societies obsession with size and the media’s definition of beauty.

So how do we build self-esteem in a world that is constantly battling to break it down???

  • Accept who you are faults, flaws, and facts – Accept right now that your body ‘is what it is’, forget the size 3 dress you fit into when you were 12, and stop starving yourself in the hopes of becoming Kate Moss. Be yourself, and love yourself, every flaw, sag, fat cell, stretch mark, and pimple…
  • Get over what you have done wrong – Allowing yourself to make mistakes is the easiest way to learn, and grow. Accept that life may not be what you planned for yourself, and focus instead on what this has taught you. Take these mistakes and turn them into lessons for the future, and view the mistakes you will make in the same light… There will never be a time in life when you won’t screw up one way or another. Remember in life, “It is not that you fell in the first place that matters, it is how fast you got up to try again that counts”.
  • Take control of your choices – The number one mistake we all make is blaming others for our unhappiness. If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it change the way your react to it. There are always choices in life, it is up to you to make the best ones for yourself. Forget for a minute what others will think, and focus on how you will feel, base your decisions on that alone, and aim for the option that will create the most happiness in your life. Remember, if you are happy with yourself, others will be happy with you as well, and it will be easier for you to help others find their happiness… but remember happiness is only something you can create for yourself, you can not produce it for someone else, nor can they provide it for you.When you are happy though it will show and reflect on others, a smile is like an infectious disease, contagious!
  • See the silver lining – Every single situation has a positive point of view, it is up to you to find it. Instead of looking at something as terrible find three positives in it. No matter how bad a situation may seem you will always be able to find three reasons that it not all bad. Think first about the opportunity it presents, think about the growth it may allow, and think about the chances it may produce. Change and challenge can be difficult, and they sometimes involve pain, or even sadness. It is fine to address these emotions as they arise, but it is also important that you see the positive they represent as well. Positive thinking brings positive results, try it out, what have you got to lose?
  • If all else fails, Fake it! – If worse comes to worse, and you find yourself wallowing in self-doubt, fake confidence for a little while. Often times faking confidence leads to actually feeling confident. When you make something a habit it becomes natural, so walk with your shoulders back and your head held high, even if you aren’t feeling it. Talk and act like a confident, self-assured, person and eventually you will start to believe you are. Just as negative thinking becomes a pattern we easily fall into, positive thinking can be just as simple to achieve.. all it takes is a little imagination, consistency, and a bit of time.

Everyone suffers from low self-esteem at one point or another, the key is to seek help when it’s needed, and resolve to accept yourself for who you are. Don’t worry about what others think of your image, or your actions, all that should matter is how you feel inside. Most importantly don’t try to be something you are not, we were each created differently for a reason, embrace your uniqueness and celebrate your differences, don’t aim to change those things you consider flaws, instead look at how they have made you who you are today. Be the best person you can be, and do what makes you happy. Remember that you are in control of your happiness, and it is but a mere choice away, no one but you can create it, or break it, so don’t rely on, or expect others, to do it for you, (they can’t and usually won’t) set out to achieve it on your own.

You are strong, smart, and beautiful…. You are perfect, just the way you are!


Until Next Time….

Write On!

    Our False Obsession…


    It’s really no shock that today there are an excessive number of women (and men) suffering from eating disorders. With the value that society places on being thin, the chaos and calamity that a normal day offers,and the extreme amount of fast food that is readily available at every turn, and the airbrushed art we the media calls models, there is bound to be some pressure to be perfect.

    It’s a sad fact that thousands of young girls are starving themselves at this very moment in an effort to attain this ‘ideal figure’ the media pushes upon them at every possible chance. All one needs to do is open a magazine, or enter a store to see the pressure that women are faced with on a regular basis, billboards boast happiness with unrealistic images of size one women wearing expensive clothes and perfect smiles. I ask, Why is it that people have an obsessive need to look like these make-believe models?

    Society is obsessed with weight! People come in all shapes and sizes, it is a fact of life, and it is a fact that is hard accepted. Every second of the day women are taking extreme measures to try to be someone, or something, that they are not. Plastic surgery has made this artificial image attainable for a fat dollar, fad diets rave guaranteed results, and endless numbers of weight-loss pills are being consumed with the hope of shedding pounds and gaining perfectly sculpted muscle. But why?

    Why is it that people can not look in a mirror and be happy with who they are? Why is it that being healthy, happy, or successful is never enough? Sure, it is acceptable to want to lose a few pounds to feel good, or be healthy, but why must people get obsessed with an image of something that doesn’t exist?

    Take for example the above image. A before and after of the art of airbrushing. In the picture on the left I see a beautiful woman, with an amazing body and flattering curves, yet the image on the right is the one printed in the magazine. The image on the right has been airbrushed to the extreme. Look at the difference in waist size first, this is perhaps the most notable difference between the two pictures. This is not an attainable image for any woman, and yet it is the image that society aims to achieve. Now take a look at the difference between the size, and shape of her breasts, was there anything wrong with them in the first place? This is only one of the many examples of the media creating a false image for women to achieve, what was wrong with her in the first place? The answer… Nothing! She is a stunning woman who, even in the first picture, has a fantastic body, and an equally amazing shape, yet even she needs to be touched up?

    I could post pictures all day, not one photo that goes into a magazine will resemble the actual image of the person who has been photographed,

    Dove has a fantastic video that EVERY woman should watch called the evolution of a model, it shows the shocking amount of changes that are made to make a woman the ‘beautiful’ you see in the magazines….. You can view this video HERE!

    After watching I hope you will share it with others, and I especially hope that you will ask yourself “Why do I aspire to be something that is fake!” What is wrong with the person you are, and the body you were given? You are perfect … just the way you are!!!