My Dirty Little Secret…

I have a secret… a dirty little secret that I have been keeping to myself for far too long… A secret that I have been hiding from friends and family. Though some of them have seen signs, they may not yet grasp the magnitude of the situation.

I am obsessed, addicted, hooked. I can’t seem to get enough of it… and the thrill it gives me only makes me crave more! Some might call it compulsion, delusion, or infatuation… I call it….

My dirty little secret….

My blog is like the perfect lover!!!

(And we are having a secret affair!)

I am seriously, completely, and utterly in love with blogging. I think about it more than I probably should. I confess I am obsessed, and I’ll tell you why…

Reasons I Love My Blog So Much (and Why It’s The Perfect Lover):

  • It’s reliable – My blog is always there when ever I need it. Like a best friend and lover it is a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with, or an understanding ear when I need to vent my frustrations. It always has my back, no matter how outrageous I am being, and it never fails on me when times get tough.
  • It’s trustworthy – If I tell it something in confidence, I can trust that it will not make it a public affair. It keeps my secrets and stores my deepest fears without ever making me feel insecure.
  • It ‘gets’ me – There is a level of understanding there that I can’t get anywhere else in my life. I can speak freely without fear of rejection. I can express my displeasure without fear of hurting feelings, and I can open up my heart with out fear of getting hurt myself. It will not argue with me, or put me down. It allows me comfort and safety to open up and share my whole self.
  • It allows me freedom – No matter where I go it is always there by my side. It allows me to do what I please, when I please, without question. No matter how wayward the idea it is with me 100%.
  • It helps me grow – Through support and reassurance my blog helps me grow. It teaches me things about myself and others on a regular basis without forcing it on me. It shows me things that I would never otherwise have seen and it allows me to connect with others that I would never meet any other way. It is constantly helping me change my perspective on things and it gives me new ideas every time we connect.
  • It is the silent support I so desperately require – Instead of forcing thoughts on me, telling me what I should do, be, or think, it is always there silently ready and willing to listen as I sort my thoughts out on my own. It supports me the without stress that life often offers.
  • It is sensitive to my needs – If I am feeling down it is there to comfort me. On days when I am lazy it does not get mad if I don’t drop by. When I want to spend hours exploring and sharing, it is always ready for me. It understands if things are crazy, and it never seems to mind that there are long periods where my interest are elsewhere altogether. It seems to know what I need, and it waits confidently knowing I will return with stories to share.
  • It boosts my ego – My blog is constantly boosting my ego. It gives me confidence each and everyday. The more I share with it, the better it makes me feel. It reassures me and encourages me to do more. It never brings me down, even on a bad day it always seems to perk me up one way or another, with a good story or a quick laugh.
  • There is solid communication – When I am trying to say just the right thing, in just the right way my blog always helps me get it out. It allows me the ability to communicate my emotions and thoughts with such simple ease. It connects me to the world and opens my imagination, helping me reach people and places I could only dream of before.
  • It requires little effort on my part – It needs no attention, it does not ask that I give up myself or my interests to please it. It never nags me for more of my time, or a deeper effort, it knows that I do my best with what I have. When I am slacking it gently reminds me that it is there if I need it, without pressuring me to drop what I am doing and focus on it.
  • My husband is not jealous – My husband is comfortable with my love affair. There is no tension or discomfort, and though he may not understand my need, he understands my reason. He does not interject or involve himself and he is comfortable with the relationship I have formed…. and that my friends is the best part!

Lessons to my children…..How to survive life, and the tools you need to do it.

A smiley by Pumbaa, drawn using a text editor.

Image via Wikipedia

     You are 10 times better looking than you think you are. Don’t let anyone alter your perception of yourself. You are perfect just the way you are.

     If you don’t have the confidence, fake it! It will become real in time.

     Don’t be afraid to try new things. If you never try you will never know.

     Education IS your number one tool to successful living. Don’t stop learning.

     The first person you love will probably break your heart, but there will be others even better than the first. Though it may seem that your world is ending, it is only just the beginning or things to come. This holds true for every heartbreak, if it is ending it was never meant to last and no matter what you do it won’t.

     High school parties are nothing special and being popular is not important in the real world. Being homecoming queen or having the most friends is not going to matter as soon as you enter the real world. Focus on study, and keep close a few true friends instead of many false ones.

     Sex is not all it’s cracked out to be. Share it for love, not lust. Enjoy the pleasure with passion, not for comfort or curiosity.

     You can’t change other people, and trying is a waste of time. You can only control yourself, if others do things you disapprove of control your reaction, or situation not theirs. You will only fuel their fire and tire yourself out.

     Every person who enters your life has something to teach you, take the time to listen and learn. People come into your life for a reason, even negative people. If someone is not good for you it is best to discover that lesson quickly and move on.

     Yelling ALWAYS makes things worse. If you are screaming you are going to get nothing but a sore throat.

     What others think of you is irrelevant. All that matters is that what you are doing makes YOU happy, seriously…this is life changing advice.

     No one knows everything. Though you may think they do, they don’t. Just because someone is talented at many things does not mean they are great at everything. Follow what you know and simply learn what you can.

     Every person has a story, don’t judge who they are based on how the appear. Just because a person is suffering now does not mean they always were, life takes us many places and we cross many paths. If you can help do, but don’t judge every human has a soul, they live, breathe, and hurt just like you.

     Anger is weakness, violence even more so. Again you can only control yourself.

     Those who complain the most accomplish the least. Don’t complain about it just do it, the more time you send avoiding something the longer it takes to do it. You will have to do many things you don’t like to do, it is best to get them out of the way and move on quickly.

     Debt devours you. Keep on top of debt or it will swallow you whole.

     Be who you are, and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind!

     Anyone can stay in a safe, comfortable situation; the key to living is to take risks. If it feels easy, it is too easy; you must constantly challenge yourself if you want to grow.  

     Revenge is for the angry and irresponsible. And anger is weakness, forgive and live. Besides happiness is always the best revenge.

     People will put you down because they dislike themselves. If someone is mean to you it is simply a reflection of how they view themselves. Have compassion first, not anger, pity the soul who can not find happiness like you.

     If you are not happy alone, you will never be happy with another. You must make yourself happy, no one else can do it for you, and the sad truth is they won’t even try.

     Follow you “gut” it will never lead you astray. Your head may cause you to consider, your heart may lead you into trouble, but your gut will always tell you when something is wrong or right. Listen to it carefully.

     The only thing worse than having no friends, is having too many that aren’t really friends.

     Swearing only makes you sound dumb. It is not “cool” and it is a bad habit to break, avoid it!

     Words are powerful, use them with care. One cruel remark can scar for a lifetime.

     Problems always seem bigger than they are.

     Nothing ever goes as planned. Learn to live in the moment and you will be adaptable to any situation. Stressing over a change is only going to hurt you.

     Sometimes you have to let go of people in your life, even when you don’t want to. If someone causes you pain, or makes you cry. It may hurt to let them go, but it will hurt less than letting them stay.

     The few possessions you have, the more they do for you. Quality over quantity is always the best choice.

     You can never change the past, but you can easily change the future. Live for NOW, dwelling on the past and living with regrets is an easy way to torture yourself. Focus on the future and change that instead.

     Positive thinking will change your life. Positive thinking will bring positive results. 100% guaranteed.

     The ability to be happy is nothing more than a simple choice to be happy. Happiness is not a situation; it is a state of mind. Choose it and it’s yours.

     Always follow your dreams. No matter how unattainable they may seem every dream is achievable, make the choice to try and you will succeed. Don’t let others opinions become your reality

      Smile and laugh as much as you can. Life is too short to be miserable.

     Life is not fair, but it is good.

     Always ask yourself “in a year will this matter?” Chances are if it’s a problem it won’t, if it’s an opportunity it will.

     Always remember to be thankful for what you have. Envy of others is a waste of time; you already have everything you need.

     A person who is rude to a waiter is not a good person. Watch closely to those around you, little signs speak loud words.

     Make mistakes. Making mistakes is the only way to learn, make them, take the lesson, and move on.

     Always ask questions. Learn, learn, learn……learn!

     Remember that you only live once. What seems important right now will probably not matter down the road. Gossip will kill your soul and other people can not make you happy. Live the life you want and enjoy it to the fullest.

Cut The Crap!

A typical queue at Tim Hortons

Image via Wikipedia

I was reading Yahoo Answers today, yes I was bored, and I came across a simple question that had very surprising answers. 

The Question simply asked, if you are waiting in line and someone cuts in front of you, what do you usually do? 

Now this is a pretty basic question, but the answers are what shocked me most, out of the 124 replies there were so many passive responses. Maybe I am wrong, maybe not but I personally can not sit by and say nothing while I watch another person act like they are better than every other person around them. I am not saying I would attack this person with a dead bird, maybe I wouldn’t even raise my voice, but I would make it clear that they are no better than I or any other person in the line-up and they should resume their position at the back of the line. 

Of course there are times when people say nothing I suppose but I am just not made that way. One morning at Tim Hortons while I was waiting in line for a much-needed, I can not stress the word MUCH enough, coffee and man in a wheelchair came in and cut in front of everyone. Perhaps I would have let this one slide out of pure respect, except not only did he cut in front of all these people who were pleasant enough to allow it, he then proceeded to order 8 COFFEES and an assortment of BAGELS! At that point I could no longer hold my tongue, but instead of directly addressing this man I decided I would address the other patrons, as I know deep inside each and every one of them wanted to take that wheelchair by the handles and roll it down a hill….sorry I know it is politically incorrect but someone has to say it! I made comments about how it must be nice to just roll-in in such style, comments like how I wasn’t worried, I mean I had all day to wait for my coffee. Others were a little more polite although one man did join in with me saying; not like I needed to be at work on time today or anything anyway, might as well just take up camp. NOW LET ME STATE, this man was not overly disabled or anything, he was in the wheelchair more due to the fact that he was older and probably unable to get far on his feet. It was not so much the line cutting that bothered me; it was the complete disregard he had for any other person in that line. NOT TO BE RUDE but honestly you are no better, or worse off, than the rest of us, a wheelchair means priority parking, not royal status at restaurants and shops. Sorry but like I said someone’s got to say it. 

Perhaps next time you consider cutting in line you will take pity on us lesser folk, and perhaps, just by chance, next time someone sees this happening they will realise that it is an injustice, no matter how small, and should be addressed accordingly. You are no better than anyone else, and they are no better than you, treat those how you wish to be treated cause Karma’s a BITCH! 

What it comes down to is simple courtesy, at least an ounce of respect for those around you, a common knowledge that you are not any better than any other person who is waiting in line. But as I have stated before and I am sure I will again ignorance seems to be consuming the world!!!

Selfish Bitch

Seule au Matin

Image by Christi Nielsen via Flickr

 I have been hearing the word selfish a lot lately, directed not only towards me, but many others around me. This word has really started me thinking. Funny how one word can do that when you have an open mind!  

 The definition of selfish is; Concerned chiefly or only with oneself.

 When I look at the meaning of the word “selfish” I have to question whether a person can truly be “selfish” at all. I don’t believe that it is humanly possible for someone to have a complete disregard for others feeling on a whole, which means that any one person is not truly selfish.

 I also thought about what being selfish does, being selfish means you only care about what benefits yourself, you work only for your own gain, and you strive only to achieve your own goals.

 When you look at selfish like this I have to ask what is so wrong with being selfish? Sure we all have to help others, care for others, and do what we can to make the world a better place, but what’s wrong with making ourselves better in the process? I am a strong believer that you must look out for yourself; you are your number one priority. Many people with children will probably disagree with me, and their people priority list probably goes something like; kids, family, me, and everyone else. The truth is you HAVE to be number one for yourself, because without you what do your kids or family have?

 See being selfish is not such a bad thing, the definition is just wrong. People only look at selfishness in a bad light when they themselves are not taking the time they need to do what’s best for THEM.

 Yes of course there are times when people are overly selfish, unwilling to compromise, and just plain mean, but in reality, most of the time when we find ourselves acting in a selfish way it is because we know what we need and we are willing to do what it takes to get it. We are not intentionally hurting people, we are not trying to make others feel bad, and we are not choosing ourselves over others with the purpose of being more important, or better than them. We are simply doing what we need to do in order to be happy.

 As I said before no one is truly selfish, for no person can truly ignore the feelings of others. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make yourself happy, there is nothing wrong with being passionate about it, if that make me selfish than so be it, selfish I will be, but I will accomplish all I strive to achieve, and I will not live life with the regret “if I had only done this differently”. If being selfish mean that I stand-up for what I believe in, what I desire, and what I need, then I will be selfish, and I will be proud!

I’m Sorry….I’m Not!

Sorry (Explored)

Image by Express Monorail via Flickr

Sorry; an over used word that should be erased from our vocabulary unless absolutely necessary. 

(If you blow-up a building on the way out the door it is alright to apologize, but leaving the light on in the john does not warrant a need for remorse) 

I spend a large amount of time apologizing for things, things I am not really sorry about. This is especially true when it comes to my children, my busy life, my thoughts, or speaking my mind. “Sorry my son is sick, I can’t make it.” “Sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” “Sorry you ran into me with your shopping cart.”  Well you know what…. I am NOT sorry. The only thing I am sorry for is saying sorry

My personal concern with the over use of this word is the fear that the true significance is losing it meaning each time I use it inappropriately. I fear that in the event that I do need to apologize with honesty my “sorry” will have lost its power. 

I am not the only one who experiences this “apology overuse syndrome”, I have been witness to many un-needed apologies. “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner there was a pile-up on the highway.” You’re here, WHAT do you have to be sorry for? 

I have thought deeply in search of a word that could replace sorry when it is being used in these unnecessary situations, but I have yet to find one that holds the same appeal. So for lack of better findings, I have decided to scrap the word all together! 

From now on I am NOT sorry! I am NOT apologizing for my thoughts, for my children, or for the traffic on the way to a meeting. I am NOT going to feel remorseful for speaking my mind, or making a choice, or cancelling plans. I am done with sorry entirely if it pertains to an issue that I can not control, or a topic towards which I feel no regret. I will save my “sorry” for when it matters most. 

I will save “sorry” for the times that I hurt my partner when it was not my intention. I will save my “sorry” for moments when I truly know an apology is needed to mend someone’s emotions. I will save “sorry” for the point when I truly feel shame in regards to my actions. Until then… to hell with you, I am NOT SORRY I said this!