Holy Crap! I’m Back!!


I realized today that it has been over a year since I have posted anything here on this site and I must say it shocked me, so I figured I should take a minute to update y’all on what has been happening in my life over the last (long) while…

Since I last posted I have moved (yes, again) but I am in a townhouse of my own and have had no issues at all with where I live, (unlike some of the sketchy places in the past). I love my home, and have been here almost 9 months now. I am just getting everything the way I want it and beginning to make it a ‘home’ I have been working on the kids rooms a lot and hoping to tackle some DIY projects in the near future.

I have also applied, and been accepted, to college which I will be starting in September… That is a big step forward in my life, and one that I have been aiming to accomplish for a really long time, so I am pretty excited to get started. I will be taking a Law Clerk course, with an option to upgrade down the road, and I think it is going to be great.

Writing wise… Well, that is where things get iffy.. I participated in Nanowrimo last November and managed to reach the 50,000 word goal, though I have still not gotten around to editing and revising what I wrote. The experience of it was awesome, and it is something that I definitely plan to do again this coming November. Other than that I have been writing over at a few other blogs, and knocking out words when I can. Truthfully my writing has been shifted to the back burner (or was) and I would love to move it back up on the list of life… Hence why I am here…

I was originally thinking of starting a *New* Blog, but I couldn’t just let go of this gem I have here, so instead I have decided to keep writing on this site, but I am going to go through the old posts to clean everything up a bit…

If you have been following along on my insane journey the last few years then I hope you will join me again as I embark on this new set of situations. I will update as often as possible, and as always share my crazy thoughts as they pop into my head. I will, as always, rant and rave and probably offend some, but I will entertain, and enlighten at times I’m sure…   Watch for the new look and new posts!!!

So.. There you have it!

Stay Tuned, cuz this Mad Mama is back by popular demand!!!

 

Until Next Time

 

keep-calm-i-am-back

 

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Lil’ C is Driving Me ‘Crazy’


It feels as if I am constantly complaining about Lil’ C and the things he is doing that drive me nuts. I feel almost guilty because lately it seems as if he is constantly in trouble. Perhaps it is just his age, he recently turned 8, and he is overly annoying lately… I don’t know… My friends 8 year old’s also seem to annoy me as well, but it could just be that I am a bitch??? Who knows… It just feels like every time I turn around I am having to remind Lil C of the most basic things, repeat myself constantly, or tell him to go away every few minutes….

Lil’ C is a good boy. He is gentle and caring, sensitive and loving, but he requires a LOT of attention. He is constantly trying to bud into adult conversations and seems to be stuck in some kind of ‘make believe’ world that us adults truly don’t want to hear about, but he feels he needs to share with us at any given moment… usually the most inappropriate ones at that!!

He is regularly reminded to tidy up, shut-up, or stop chewing with his mouth open and it is starting to drive me ‘CRAZY’ I am at my wit’s end with my little boy and I am about ready to ship him off to tim-buck-two…

I guess I am wondering if anyone else is feeling (or has felt) overwhelmed with their 8 year-old… I keep telling myself it is a phase and it will pass, but I am scared that it isn’t! I worry that he is going to be messed up because he is constantly getting disciplined for stupid little things that I should not have to remind him of daily… It is almost as if he is stuck on stupid… (sorry for the harsh example) but really it is like the lights are on and no one is home!!! You tell him something and it goes in one ear and out the other… like it has never been said before… I am about ready to give up….

Any advice???

Life For Sale!


Oh to the woes of the drama that is my life… Time for an update on the state of the ‘home’ front…

As you all know we have moved around a lot in the last few months. It seems every house we find presents a new set of stresses we have to face, the new house is no different, though this stress was completely unexpected…

Our new house was fantastic, still is actually, aside from a few little things. The layout of the home is perfect, the price is right, and the area is one that enhances our family lifestyle. Things here are good…

The house we rented holds 3 apartments, One in the basement where Big C‘s friend resides, and one up above, we rent the entire main floor. The apartment up above was home to a quiet man who was rarely home, thus giving me no fear of the issues we faced at our last apartment with the elephants upstairs. Unfortunately, the man upstairs also faced his own set of demons, and recently passed away. Apparently having been sick for a long time, and facing the chaos of a ‘hoarder’ lifestyle he chose to commit suicide… No not in the apartment above Thank-God! Needless to say, he will no longer live upstairs….

His death is a sad fact and I feel bad for his family, who appeared to tackle his ‘hoarder’ home. Now he did not hoard garbage, but rather just ‘stuff’ lots and lots of stuff… Just like the Television show, there were small pathways to walk and the rest was all stuff….

Now I know that this must have been overwhelming for his family, they must have been in complete shock, but how they have gone about it is probably the strangest thing I have ever seen, and is the topic for this post…

Most people would face this obstacle with the intent to complete a task. Especially a family who has arrived from other parts of the country and lives nowhere near this man’s home. This family has not done anything like that… Here is what they did do…

Seeing the large amount of stuff in this home one would think you would simply want to get it all out, and out of the way, but NO these people have spent the last two months sorting each and every paper, item, and box and gathered up a large pile of trash, that now sits in the driveway of my home!

Please understand I don’t want to sound cold-hearted, or insensitive but read further and I am sure you will understand…

Not only have these people spent months going through these items, they do so at all hours of the night… which is not even the biggest issue, though it is an annoyance in itself… The biggest issue is that they have also been having Garage Sales Daily for that period of time… and not just Garage Sales, in the tense that a Garage Sale is usually done (Eg: weekends, daylight hours, Cheap deals on cool stuff, etc…) They have had REGULAR Garage Sales from morning through night…. Often times still out in the driveway at midnight haggling people for cash….

Now I understand that they have faced a death, and the death of a hoarder at that.. They have a large amount of items to dispose of, and usually a Garage Sale is the easiest way. Though in this case I would have recommended that they locate an auctioneer and go about removing it all that way, as much of it is usable stuff… But they have opted to have Garage Sales Daily instead….

Now, Let me tell you why this is a problem….

a) It is occurring daily from morning till night. Not just on the weekends or during daytime hours as normal people would do…

b) The pile of garbage that this constant “sale” has created is now taking over my side yard… I am sure it is a haven for rats, rodents and stray cats… You may remember my ‘run-in’ with stray cats

c) They are not cutting deals as a normal Garage Sale would do… In fact, they are trying to charge ‘Top Dollar” for a bunch of old, though useful, stuff…
Here is a conversation I overheard:
“I’ll give you $20 for that drill.”
“Well that drill costs $59.99 at Canadian Tire, so I want $50 bucks”
“If the drill is $59.99 at Canadian Tire Why would I give you $50 bucks? I can just go there and spend 10 bucks more to get a warranty and a box!”
“$50 bucks or no sale…”
****Customer walks away**** 

d) There is a city By-Law that clearly states a household is only allowed ‘2 Garage Sales per year’ This means that the hope of me having a Garage Sale later this summer to clear out my clutter has now been washed down the drain… Today the city By-Law officer showed up to take pictures and serve notice of this By-Law… Actually it made my day. I have recently decided that if it happened one more day I was going to call the city… But someone clearly beat me to it… He took pictures of the Garbage pile too!

e) Endless Garage Sales = Endless people… This also mean that my kids have not been able to go outside…. though these people have tried to tell me different I am not comfortable with my children running around with 50+ strangers standing in my driveway! It is just unsafe!

f) Garage Sales usually occur in the ‘garage’, since we have no garage they are occurring in our driveway. This fact means that no one can get in or our and my kids can’t ride their bikes….

You can see where the problem lies…

Now these people are still at it… even today in the pouring rain they outside sorting through stuff. I am sure that the moment the clouds part they will be setting up and I think that will be the moment that I break… I can respect that they have suffered a loss, and I even feel pity for the difficult task they have had to face… (Keep in mind that this man also had a storage unit full of things and so they have been renting a U-Haul truck, that has also been parked in my driveway for two months, to help house all this junk.) But there comes a point where enough is enough and my sadness for their loss no longer outweighs the suffering they are causing my family and my home… Hence the breaking point should they happen to attempt to set up today!

We tried to address this issue with our landlord, unfortunately he doesn’t live here, so he just does not care. The city seems to understand though at least that is good!

What would you do in this situation? How would you react? Keep in mind that these people have still not shown any sign of leaving although each day they say “This sale is their last” 

??????

The Ongoing Outrageousness that is Our Life…


My God, time has been flying by the last few days. With the sun shining bright and the weather getting warmer my life has been an endless outdoor adventure and I have found little time to do much else. Let me update you on the happenings of our household….

With the weather being nice as it has been the last few days have been spent exploring the city we relocated to in January. We have not had a chance to get out and see where we live due to hectic schedules, lack of funds and poor weather, so this last week has been rather enjoyable for me. We have taken to hoping on the subway with no set destination, we choose a subway station to exit at and we set out to explore. This blind travel has taught me many things about the city I now live in. Toronto, Ontario is a ‘huge’ city with a population of over 2.5 million people there is no such thing as silence. It is also a beautiful city to both visit and live in. The thing about Toronto that amazes me the most is the beauty it holds all around it. You can be walking along a busy city street and you simply need to turn a corner to get a “small town” feel. You can wander down quiet residential streets, with tiny shops and friendly people and within moments you can step back into the chaos that is “big city” living… It truly is a diverse place to live. There is a ton of greenery in this city and amazing outdoor adventures and areas to explore. With ample amounts of trails and forests, a thriving beach front, and even a great island (easily accessible by ferry) Toronto is the city of never-ending exploration.. Every time we step out the door we are off on a new adventure. Even when we are tight on fund there is some much for us to see and do here… I am starting to feel like I am home.

Because of these fantastic adventures I have not been able to accomplish much else, blog posts included… Though a lot of interesting things have happened:

We made our first attempt at moving L into a big girl bed… This attempt failed miserably. I have one of those great “convertible” cribs that save you a ton of cash in the long run. This ‘super’ crib converts from a crib to a toddler bed and then to a double bed later down the road. It is a quality piece that usually costs a pretty penny (around $350 Canadian) but the frugal shopper that I am, I managed to score this amazing solid wood crib for $50 bucks!!! In turning it into a toddler bed the process is rather simple, you simply need to remove 4 screws and lift off the lower side. Easy as pie… Now getting your child to adapt to this simple change is often the challenge.. L was ecstatic at first. She was content for hours climbing in and out of her ‘big girl’ bed and even had her nap in it peacefully without an issue. She was even more content when she woke up and realized she could just climb out and come find Mommy and Daddy… which she did, with a big smile on her face! But sometime around 6 O’clock in the evening L decided she wanted nothing to do with this amazing new bed, and fought tooth and nail at bed time… 4 hours and a whole lot of screaming, crying attempts later the rail was (not as easily) placed back on the bed, converting it back into the crib that comforted her to sleep in seconds. Attempt one… unsuccessful! We will try again later in the month.

Besides L and her ongoing antics, Lil’ C has been doing well. I must say I have been a very proud Mama lately with numerous compliments on how well-behaved he is, and his latest school tests which have resulted in all A’s. Yep, I must say I am ecstatic! The funny thing is I was starting to get a big worried about Lil’ C. At 7 (almost 8 years-old) my son was starting to seem a little slow (‘Not the brightest crayon in the box, or a few fries short of a Happy meal, kind of slow) Constantly forgetful Lil’ C lives in Lala land where everything is perfect and the roads are made of chocolate… Every sentence he spoke seemed to get stupider and stupider… until lately, I don’t know he just seems to have matured overnight. Don’t get me wrong, we still have moments when we look at him like a little mad man and wonder “what the hell” he was thinking when he opened his mouth to speak, but those moments are getting to be a lot less common in the recent weeks. We have not had to remind him to brush his teeth once in the last 2 months and all his school work is showing that he is learning well.

I think I am most proud of his marks. Before our recent move to the city, the school had shown worry that he was not learning at an age appropriate pace. This was especially true when it came to his reading, it worried me a lot. Lil C loves to read, and like his Mama he is constantly writing stories, journals, or poems… He has even recently stated that he wants to start his own Blog (Note the huge smile on my face) But up until the move his writing and reading was well below what you would expect from a Grade 2 student… and no amount of help from me seemed to be doing any good. Yet since relocating to the city things seemed to have changed… Lil C’s first math test home from his new school was scary… He managed to get a rather unimpressive 9 out of 43!! I was devastated… In fact I even cried… Until I looked at the test and realized a few things: First the questions on this test were “Hard“… It shocked me to see the complete difference in level between the new city and our old town.. C had never even seen math like this before, let alone attempted to complete it on his own.. and Secondly the answers themselves were only wrong because his numbers were switched around… Now at first this realization was scary… Dyslexia is a very difficult thing for anyone to deal with, but after talking to his teacher and monitoring his writing this was ruled out…

Quickly going over the order of numbers with him and a little practice this issue has been almost totally solved. Back to the first realization I set out to show Lil C how this “big boy” math was done (Thank God for Google… Math has never been my strong suit. They say a person is either good at English or Math, rarely both… English is more my cup of tea.) Once I had shown Lil C the process and basics of this math his little world changed.. You could almost see the light bulb turn on in his head! I won’t lie, It was not fun and games.. I can honestly say that it is a good thing I never became a teacher, because there was swearing, a bit of yelling, and at one point a pencil was broken out of frustration… but he finally got it all figured out…

Since then every Math test that has come home has been adorned with a great big A and a fancy “Good Job” sticker, as have all the other tests that have come home for me to see… Science, Math, Social Studies and Language test are proudly displayed on our fridge.. The $1 incentive for each A he brings home has been a big help (and is also starting to cost me big bucks) 

So Yes I am a Proud Mama at the moment with an amazing Genius little boy. His reading skills have raised by over 16 levels (books are marked by letters or numbers and Lil C has gone up from a 9 to a 30 in the last 2 months… It truly is amazing) and his writing skills are noticeably better now than they have ever been. My brilliant boy is well on his way to becoming an award-winning writer at this rate. The difference is unexplainable, as is my happiness in light of it, I truly am starting to feel like this was a good move.

Lil’ C is also very happy. Most of his days are spent outside playing with all his friends. He has more freedom here in the big city than he ever did in our old town… and he loves our little adventures and all there is to explore.

And so… you now know why I have been slacking. I have had good excuse… But since today is a colder day I figured I would catch you up on our exciting adventures and all the changes we have had… Rest assured that my blog is not the only thing that has suffered… I must end this post now as I have an entire house that desperately needs to be cleaned!!!

Cheers!

What Makes Mama Mad… Pieces of Me – Post #1


Well I have been blogging on here for quite a while now and I realized that it might be time to let my readers get to know me a little better, find out who I am, and discover what makes me tick. In light of this I have created a new category called pieces of me Inspired by Thypolar’s fantastic blog (check it out if you haven’t done so already… It’s a great read and always entertaining)

To start off this section, and get inspired, I have decided to answer a few questions about myself… Some are deeper more meaningful questions, others are just the basics that I feel you may want to know… So without delay:

Pieces of Me:

  • What’s your name? Katherine (I go by K8)
  • How old are you? 28 (Will be 29 in November…Scary stuff!)
  • Where did your blog title come from? Well I guess it came for the fact that I am a bit of a crazy person… and a Mama of two that is always ranting and raving about some thing.
  • What is your current living arrangement? Currently we live in Toronto, Ontario. There is myself, my two kids, my hubby our pain in the butt dog and Two buggies that will hopefully be gone by the weekend as they are driving me absolutely batty.
  • What did you want to be when you grew up? When I was younger I wanted to be a singer/writer. I can’t sing now to save my life… Years of smoking have taken their toll….
  • What is your dream job? Writing. I love to see a finished piece and know that it was a creation from my mind, a thought that no one else ever had but me… I love knowing that people are reading something that is a part of me and actually enjoying it.
  • What is your favorite movie? That’s a hard one… Probably Back Draft. It’s such a great movie… Thrilling and touching all at the same time!
  • Do you have any children? Did you want to have children? I have two Children… ‘C’ my son who is 7 (almost 8) years-old and ‘L’ who is just turning 15 months. I had never wanted children.. The responsibility of it scared me, but now that I do I wouldn’t change it for the world!
  • Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Hopefully not where I am today. I am hoping that sometime in the next 5 years I can get a career and perhaps be in a better place. My life thus far has been a series of mishaps that have gotten me nowhere, and so I am working on my plans to attain bigger, better things for the future.
  • Who in your family are you closest to? Another one that is difficult to answer. I get along with my family well for the most part. I am close with both my parents and my older sister.
  • What is your favorite book of all time? Wally LambShe’s Come Undone. A must read for anyone, especially women. The story of a girl who suffers from low self-esteem and the battle it creates in her life. It is both witty and touching. You will laugh as well as cry.
  • What are you most afraid of? Death.
  • What is your favorite quote? “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind!”
  • What was your childhood like? I had a fantastic childhood, my parents were very active in our lives and we had a very secure and stable life. We did a lot of family activities together and had a close relationship.
  • What advice would you give yourself 5 years ago? 5 years from now? 5 years ago I would have told myself to let things go. I would have explained that what seems important now is not going to matter tomorrow. I would have told myself to surround myself with positive people who will help me grow and let go of those who bring me down. For the me 5 years from now I will say the same thing… keep focused on yourself and your needs everything else will fall into place.
  • What do you want your headstone to say? Outgoing, Outspoken and Outrageous… Lived Her Life to the Fullest.
  • When was the last time you cried? I cry often. I am an overly sensitive person, and I also cry when I am very angry…
  • Are you married? Do you want to be? Why/Why not? I am not married. I would get married when I found someone who treated me as an equal and I knew that I was going to spend my life with them.
  • What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Hmm…Physically or Mentally? Physically it is their eyes and body shape. Mentally it is their level of confidence and their ability to make me laugh…
  • How would you describe your inner circle of friends? I don’t have many close friends anymore, life changed and we lost touch, went off in different directions. The ones I do have are honest and reliable. They are there for me without judgment and they always have my back when I need them.
  • What’s your view on Religion? I don’t have one at this point, and I avoid thinking about it at all costs… That is one of those touchy subjects that can get me rambling on and on for hours, arguing points until the cows come home.
  • What is your favorite smell? Sound? My favorite smell is fresh-cut grass, and my favorite sound is leaves crunching under your feet.
  • Your biggest Pet peeve? People who talk down to you.
  • What kind of drunk are you? I am not the nicest drunk… hence why I rarely drink. I am one of those people who thinks they are ten-feet tall and bullet proof when they drink… I am far to honest to drink because I don’t think before I speak.
  • How do you cheer yourself up when your feeling down? Music and writing are my goto’s when I am blue….
  • What are you most passionate about? Writing. I have this unexplainable need to express myself, and when I try to do so vocally people seem to take offence (see above: too honest) Thus I use writing to get the feelings out and share myself with others.
  • If you could help one charity achieve their goal which would it be? There are too many that need help.. but lately I am in tune with Dove and their mission to help girls gain self-esteem. I am a strong believer that building positive self-image for girls is an important part of a successful future.
  • How would you define true friendship? Wow… Ummm.. True friendship is that person who stands beside you and supports your choices even when they know you are wrong. It is someone who trusts that you need to learn for yourself, and still loves you even after you have made countless mistakes.
  • What do you offer to a relationship? I am a deeply passionate person. I offer unconditional love and equal respect. I offer that I will do unto you only as you do unto me.
  • What makes you angry? Too many things to list…. but I’ll name a few… People who put others down, men hitting women, rape, violence, child abuse, ignorance, lying, self-absorbed people, inconsiderate people, people who set out to hurt others on purpose.
  • Do you believe in luck or fate? I believe in fate. I think everything happens for a reason.
  • What song has a message you love and want to share with the world? The is a song by Nickleback called ‘If everyone cared‘ and it holds an amazing message for the world. Look it up if you have never heard it and listen to the beauty in the words.
  • What do you love about the city you live in? What do you hate? I love the constant chaos, the excitement, and the big city feel.. I hate the constant chaos, the excitement and the big city feel….
  • What stereotype to people make based on your appearance? Dumb Blonde….
  • Are you sure of what you want to do in life? I am not sure of what I want to do in life… never have been. I change my mind daily about what I want to do, or who I want to be… so I stick with the few things that have always been consistent such as writing and music…
  • How would you describe your relationship with your parents? My parents were amazing while I was growing up, and they still are now. They were loving and supportive and always there when you needed them. I have heard horror stories from other people about their parents and their childhoods… I feel lucky to have two loving, caring people who have been happily married for over 35 years and always did what was best for me. They truly were are great parents!

There are a few little pieces of me… I plan to share more in the future, but this is a start.

If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask, I am usually very open and honest.

Cheers!

Crazy Cat-astrophy!


I remember when I was little I was constantly bringing home strays. Stray cats, stray dogs, and even on occasion… stray people. I was a little mother hen always on the look out for then next ‘animal’ in need. One time I even found a flying squirrel and another time it was a baby mole… I certainly was an animal loving child!

Some things change I suppose. Though I am an animal lover now, I love animals a lot more when they are not my responsibility, and are not in my house… But… I still have a thing for caring for strays.

While doing the dishes Thursday evening I heard incessant ‘meowing‘ outside my kitchen window, upon inspection I found a very small, very skinny, very hungry cat sitting outside my window crying for attention and food.

I am not a cat person… not that I don’t like cats, I do, but years of bad allergies and asthma attacks have chipped away at my feline fondness. Even still looking at the skin and bones that was this young cat, who appeared to be either pregnant currently or had just recently given birth to kittens. (who judging by the malnutrition and poor state of health that this cat was in probably didn’t do well, if they had survived at all!) Needless to say, my heart ached for this poor animal who had clearly been abandoned by its original owner in the middle of the of the city and left to fend for itself. (which clearly was not working out so well)

It truly bothers me that a person can leave an animal to suffer the way people often do with cats. Sure, cats may originate from the wild and they are pretty self-sufficient creatures, but years of domestication mean that this animal is not meant to live wild…Especially in the midst of a city where they are unable to hunt and survive. It disgusts me that people can leave a poor little animal to suffer the way these stray cats do without a thought to their needs or a feeling for their lives. But that is an endless battle…

So feeling sorry for this sad excuse for a kitten I gathered some turkey breast and dog food, along with a bowl of water and fed this poor little abandoned animal. Well she gobbled it up instantly… She was clearly starving! After she had her fill of all that I had to give her she decided that we should be friends… Despite her disgusting, filthy, clumped up fur that was caked with grease and mud, she was kind of cute…

I sat and snuggled with her for a few moments, petting her and trying to pull of the excess hair that had clearly never been cleaned.

Now keep in mind here that my family is the proud owners of a very big, very stupid Rottweiler. Kayla is about 3 years old and weighs just over 100 pounds. She is an intimidating dog that often frightens large men, but believes that everyone should love her and be her friend… I joke often that our large dog thinks she is a chihuahua, as she will run up to people, jump up on us when we first come home, or climb up on our laps as we sit on the couch… This dog weighs more than I do, she is a far cry from a poodle!

As I lifted the cat to further inspect its sad state my big beautiful dog came bounding towards us and scared the whiskers off this poor little animal…. Who of course lashed out in fear and ended up injuring “me” instead of her curious attacker!!!

The picture above is the result of me trying to be cat woman and make a poor stray feel happy and loved! It also doesn’t do justice to the injury, which at the moment of impact began pouring blood into my eyes and caused it to immediately swell shut!

Now normally a scratch from a cat would not be cause for alarm in my books, but thanks to my curiosity (aka: Hypochondria)  and the World Wide Web, I discovered that cats carry a large amount of bacteria on their claws and that a simple scratch can lead to dangerous infection and disease…. So… I panicked! (Not immediately though.. It wasn’t until I awoke in the middle of the night and could not open my swollen eye that the fear really set in!)

One walk-in clinic, two prescriptions, and three hours later, I am fine and will not require any major surgery, or suffer from any permanent scaring! Though I did have to get a booster shot just to be safe!

I fell bad, because this incident was clearly not this little cats fault. She did not intentionally set out to harm me. She was simply reacting to a scary situation that I happened to be in the middle of!

I have since made a friend. This little cat has been hovering outside our house, and even managed to sneak inside for a second yesterday! The kids have taken a liking to her, and she seems to have gotten over the dog! I sat outside talking away to her during the sunny afternoon like a crazy cat lady… and although there is no chance of her ever becoming a member of my household I did go buy her some food.. because despite her filth and fur she is a cute harmless little animal, and unlike the heartless owner that abandoned her in the middle of the city I cannot watch anyone suffer!

The lesson out of all this????

No good deed goes unpunished!

Cheers!


OH, The Woes of a Country Mouse…


I am not sure that I am cut out for this city living. I thought that I loved the hustle and bustle that life in the city brings. I thought that the sights and sounds would set my mind ablaze. I assumed that I would enjoy exploring, I thought I would find constant adventure. I truly believed that the city would bring me joy…

But it hasn’t!

In fact, the hustle and bustle of the city is driving me mad. The sights and sounds have grown more irritating than entertaining, and they have done nothing to inspire my mind. Actually, they are kind of distracting! I have given up on exploring the city because everywhere you go is crowded with people, it takes hours on the bus, and the sidewalks are jam-packed with pedestrians. You can’t drive because the roads are complete chaos, and the only adventure I have found is the over abundance of insane people you see walking around unsupervised on a daily basis. The city and I do not see eye-to-eye….

Sure I like the conveniences that the city provides, like the large shopping malls and the endless amounts of interesting little shops that line the streets. I like the variety of activities I have to choose from if I want to do something with the kids. I like the diversity, the culture and the many different kids of people you can meet… But I rarely go shopping, I never get out with the kids any more and the people.. though diverse, are R-U-D-E! No one smiles and says hello. No one asks How you are doing? or How you have been? There is rarely friendly chit-chat, and most people walk around with their heads down, or their noses up.

Yes, city life is different.

I thought that I would be more creative here… but it is hard to do when you realize that you are one tiny speck among millions who are aiming for the same dream. It feels almost intimidating to find that you are anonymous, that you mean nothing to the hundreds of people you walk by every single day. It is daunting and depressing to watch the violence and suffering that is Top Story on the daily news.

Yes, the city and I are different.

I realize that I enjoyed walking down the street and seeing a familiar face. I liked being able to stop and talk to a friend. I like the friendly environment and welcoming atmosphere that was a “small” town. I miss the simplicity that was country living, the way you were a regular at a shop or bar. I miss the smiles that greeted you at every corner, and the simple politeness that came along. I was happy with the peace and quite. I didn’t even really mind that the buses didn’t run at night…. at least in the small town you could take a taxi without spending a hundred bucks.

Yes, the country and I are alike in many ways.

I miss the fresh air, and the clean water. The lack of garbage, and the abundance of trees. The fields, the flowers, and the family. The ease and openness. I miss not having to worry or stress about safety, not having to think before walking in the dark. I miss being able to walk on the sidewalks and drive on the roads without being run over. I miss the way things were….

But I am here in the city now, and though I miss many things, I need to accept that me and the city differ, that we will never be the same. I need to enjoy the things that are good here, and embrace them when I can.

I guess it is true the saying “That you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.”

There are plenty of things that I like here.. don’t get me wrong, but I guess I just didn’t realize how much I would miss what became my home!

My Dirty Little Secret…


I have a secret… a dirty little secret that I have been keeping to myself for far too long… A secret that I have been hiding from friends and family. Though some of them have seen signs, they may not yet grasp the magnitude of the situation.

I am obsessed, addicted, hooked. I can’t seem to get enough of it… and the thrill it gives me only makes me crave more! Some might call it compulsion, delusion, or infatuation… I call it….

My dirty little secret….

My blog is like the perfect lover!!!

(And we are having a secret affair!)

I am seriously, completely, and utterly in love with blogging. I think about it more than I probably should. I confess I am obsessed, and I’ll tell you why…

Reasons I Love My Blog So Much (and Why It’s The Perfect Lover):

  • It’s reliable – My blog is always there when ever I need it. Like a best friend and lover it is a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with, or an understanding ear when I need to vent my frustrations. It always has my back, no matter how outrageous I am being, and it never fails on me when times get tough.
  • It’s trustworthy – If I tell it something in confidence, I can trust that it will not make it a public affair. It keeps my secrets and stores my deepest fears without ever making me feel insecure.
  • It ‘gets’ me – There is a level of understanding there that I can’t get anywhere else in my life. I can speak freely without fear of rejection. I can express my displeasure without fear of hurting feelings, and I can open up my heart with out fear of getting hurt myself. It will not argue with me, or put me down. It allows me comfort and safety to open up and share my whole self.
  • It allows me freedom – No matter where I go it is always there by my side. It allows me to do what I please, when I please, without question. No matter how wayward the idea it is with me 100%.
  • It helps me grow – Through support and reassurance my blog helps me grow. It teaches me things about myself and others on a regular basis without forcing it on me. It shows me things that I would never otherwise have seen and it allows me to connect with others that I would never meet any other way. It is constantly helping me change my perspective on things and it gives me new ideas every time we connect.
  • It is the silent support I so desperately require – Instead of forcing thoughts on me, telling me what I should do, be, or think, it is always there silently ready and willing to listen as I sort my thoughts out on my own. It supports me the without stress that life often offers.
  • It is sensitive to my needs – If I am feeling down it is there to comfort me. On days when I am lazy it does not get mad if I don’t drop by. When I want to spend hours exploring and sharing, it is always ready for me. It understands if things are crazy, and it never seems to mind that there are long periods where my interest are elsewhere altogether. It seems to know what I need, and it waits confidently knowing I will return with stories to share.
  • It boosts my ego – My blog is constantly boosting my ego. It gives me confidence each and everyday. The more I share with it, the better it makes me feel. It reassures me and encourages me to do more. It never brings me down, even on a bad day it always seems to perk me up one way or another, with a good story or a quick laugh.
  • There is solid communication – When I am trying to say just the right thing, in just the right way my blog always helps me get it out. It allows me the ability to communicate my emotions and thoughts with such simple ease. It connects me to the world and opens my imagination, helping me reach people and places I could only dream of before.
  • It requires little effort on my part – It needs no attention, it does not ask that I give up myself or my interests to please it. It never nags me for more of my time, or a deeper effort, it knows that I do my best with what I have. When I am slacking it gently reminds me that it is there if I need it, without pressuring me to drop what I am doing and focus on it.
  • My husband is not jealous – My husband is comfortable with my love affair. There is no tension or discomfort, and though he may not understand my need, he understands my reason. He does not interject or involve himself and he is comfortable with the relationship I have formed…. and that my friends is the best part!

28 Things I Have Learned in 28 Years…


Learning is a life long process. You can never gain too much knowledge. As long as you live your life having fun and learning as much as you can everyday, you will not grow older… instead become newer as you grow each day!

I have lived a full and fascinating life so far, and it is not even half over yet. (Though it has become a bit more mellow over time!) I have loved, lost, and made mistakes… Now after 28 years I look back and realize how far I have come…

Here is my list of 28 Things I Have Learned in 28 Years;

  1. You can either bake, or you can’t… It is in your blood, you are born with the talent. I personally am no Betty Crocker!
  2. You will never get along with everyone, and you should not waste the time or the effort trying. There are people who just will not like you and there is nothing you say or do that will change that… get over it and move on. Surround yourself with those that do.
  3. Love and insanity are the exact same feeling, and usually have the exact same result.
  4. People do not talk about you even half as much as you think they do. Once you get over that you will be a much happier person.
  5. Life will never be easy. Things will never just fall in to your lap. You must work and fight to get what you want, or be content with what you already have.
  6. No matter how much it sucks, you will sometimes have to apologize and admit you were wrong… even when you don’t feel like you were, “I’m sorry” means you respect your relationships more than you ego!
  7. Happiness is a state of mind not a situation.. In every thing you do, you have the choice to find happiness within it!
  8. A good book can be a great escape from reality… Get lost as often as possible. A good book can also change your life!
  9. Family is precious. Enjoy them as much as you can. Parents and family are the only people who will truly have your back.
  10. Our thoughts about food are far more dangerous than the food itself. When you stop obsessing about food and use it as a tool to fuel your body, you will feel happier and will make better choices. You can eat what you want and be healthy without having to count calories or keep stock, follow your body’s cues and you will not need to worry about what you eat.
  11. Silly shoes will only make you look ridiculous. 6-inch spikes are not designed for comfort and if you are uncomfortable, you are not going to feel confident, or look good for that matter. You will only end up with blisters and you will look silly trying to waddle around.
  12. Most people operate out of selfishness. It is a rare thing to find someone who is not out to benefit themselves in some way. When you do find that person… cherish them always.
  13. Be kind to strangers. Even a simple smile and hello can change someone’s life. We are all fighting the same battle and walking the same road, we are just wearing different shoes while we do it!
  14. Blaming others for what has happened in your life will get you nowhere… every single thing that happens to you has occurred as a result of your choices. Accept responsibility and move on. Be the change you wish to see in the world.
  15. You will get only what you give. People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. It is your actions, and re-actions, that train others how to interact with you. Give others what you wish to receive in return.
  16. No one ever really grows up, we just get bigger and more self-conscious of our actions.
  17. If you are not making mistakes, you are not living. Every mistake is a lesson learned and a door opened. If you are not living, and learning, you are wasting precious time.
  18. No matter how bad things may seem, they can always be worse. Take a moment to think about all those things that you have to be grateful for… you list will be longer than you think!
  19. The most important person in your life is not your children, spouse, family, or friends… it is YOU… If you don’t take care of yourself first you will not be there to care for others.
  20. Even when a lie is the best option at the moment, the truth will always be the best option in the long run. The truth may hurt someone for a short time, but a lie can produce damage that is irreparable.
  21. Worrying is like running on a treadmill, it may feel productive but gets you nowhere. The more time you spend worrying about a problem the bigger the problem becomes, action is the only way to face what needs to be conquered.
  22. No one is going to remember you as “The one with the spotless house” Spending time having fun, enjoying life with friends and family is far more important than scrubbing the floors or doing the laundry.
  23. Every action has a reaction. When you allow someones words to hurt you, you are giving them power over you. Look closely at the source of the subject and never let another’s opinion of you become your reality.
  24. Thrift stores are amazing, and the more you save the more you get later. Don’t live like your rich, especially when you’re not, learn to be frugal even in small ways and avoid stressing about money. Plus shopping at thrift stores means you don’t have to worry about wearing the same outfit as ten other people, you can create your own custom style, and you are helping charity!
  25. No matter how good your intentions, you can never change someone else or force them to change themselves. Show a person the right path… but allow them to walk down it.
  26. Friendships will never last forever. People will always move on, grow apart, fade away, or die off… rely on no one but yourself in the long-run.
  27. One-year from now none of your current worries will matter. We spend far too much time living in fear over things that are not going to make any difference in the future. Live life to the fullest each and everyday. Face challenges when you come across them, remove people and actions that bring you down, do what you love and do it well, because tomorrow it will all be history.
  28. Never be afraid to be yourself. After high-school the pressure to be popular will fade, it won’t matter that you were homecoming queen, or head cheerleader. Do those things that make you happy despite what others say or think. Check in on yourself constantly and evaluate your happiness from within. Don’t compromise your values and live based on your terms… always remember…

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter,and those who matter don’t mind!”


I Hate Children….. On ‘Yes, I just said that….’


.Check out this humorous post on parenting:

http://ijusthadtosaythat.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-hate-children.html#