I am holding these children hostage until things change….. Wait! Who’s stupid idea was this???


There has not been much to write about lately.. Things in my life are kind of at a lull…. Tensions in my home are running high because we are constantly having to  remind C of the most basic rules and manners. L is a tiny terrorist who basically does what she wants, when she wants, no matter how many times you say no, remove her from the area, or try to distract her with something else. The laundry is piled sky high…literally… The washing machine is broken, and I haven’t cooked a decent meal in days….

An absolute detest for my mundane life has taken over me. The regularity, predictability, and routine of my everyday are numbing my mind. The brief encounters we have been getting with warm weather only seem to intensify my wretched mood, because the moment I start to enjoy the warmth it fades away to gray skies and cold winds…. and I am just not made for gray skies and cold weather….

Basically, to put it simply….

I QUIT!

I have decided that from this point forward I am officially on strike until one or more of the following things happen:

  • Someone fixes the washer and offers to wash, dry, fold, and put away the stratospheric (it was the most fitting word) amount of laundry that has managed to pile up… I wonder WTF we have been wearing? I was not even aware we owned that many articles of clothing…. Seriously, I know I have a tendency to exaggerate, but this is not one of those times!
  • Mother Nature gets mood stabilizers, stops being a bitch, and decides to keep the weather at least somewhat regular…
  • Chef Ramsay moves into my house to cook for us… but I don’t have to deal with him directly! Or in the very least I’d settle for someone else offering to make dinner.. Even once a week!!!
  • We suddenly win the lottery and can afford a maid, a live-in Nanny, Kitchen staff, and a pool boy…. A new house with a pool would be good too, but it’s not an asset…
  • We get one of those I-Bot vacuums that does the entire house for you…
  • The mother of these children returns and takes them back where they came from… or they at least stop calling me Mom and expecting me to care for them….
  • Mary Poppins arrives via umbrella to make our house a magical place to live.
  • I wake-up to a spotless house, a loving husband and well-behaved children that actually listen to what I say and do as they are told… without arguments, stress, or stupid questions….
  • I wake up tomorrow and discover that I have become Kate Middleton…. I’d settle for that I suppose! I mean if I had to settle…..

But since none of these things is going to happen and I am simply living in a seriously deranged fairy tale dream… I will instead:

  • Do the excessive amounts of laundry that have somehow managed to take over the entire house and are threatening to swallow us whole, by dragging it to the laundry mat and sitting there for two hours while some strange man with a thick foreign accent tries to talk to me and the dryer eats my quarters leaving every article of clothing  sopping wet…
  • I will bundle up and deal with the weary, wet weather… I will complain that I am cold and get sick because my feet are wet. I will bitch and whine about how it is suppose to be summer, and I will yell at my kids to keep out of the puddles…
  • I will get off my lazy ass and cook dinner, because despite the fact that I don’t feel like cooking, I do love to eat… Many days I will make sandwiches, there will possibly be nights that consist of Kraft Dinner, and Peanut Butter and Jam will definitely be on the menu a few times…
  • I will continue to clean and care for these children, because although it would be nice to win the lottery… we would first have to play… and the thought of their mother returning to get the little brats angels is nothing more than a dream….
  • I will not purchase an I-Bot vacuum because a) they are over priced, and b) it would just be my luck that the things would come alive and kill us all….
  • Mary Poppins is high on crack and is definitely not coming…
  • I will never wake up to a spotless house…. because I have children
  • I may wake up to a loving husband… but he will have to leave before mine gets home….
  • No matter how hard I wish, no matter how many times I close my eyes and force it to be.. I will not wake up as Kate Middleton.. Which I suppose is better anyway… The media would have a frenzy if the Princess had a potty mouth like me… and can you imagine the headlines when they discovered I was an unwed mother of two crazy little children…. Who somehow managed to high-jack the palace, and steal someone’s life….

No I will continue living my life…. I will be a bitch because I am bored. I will whine that I am unhappy. I will scream when I am mad, and laugh at the stupid things my children do… But seriously.. if you don’t hear from me… Be worried… because I will probably drown while doing all this friggin’ laundry….

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I Hate Children….. On ‘Yes, I just said that….’


.Check out this humorous post on parenting:

http://ijusthadtosaythat.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-hate-children.html#

Speaking in Tongues… Momfinitions


Communicating with children can be difficult on a good day. Making the choice to have children means learning an entirely new language, consisting of words that after often made up on a whim. It

means learning sign language, and being creative in your expression and understanding. Parenthood can be related to travel in a foreign country where the simplest communications can become complicated chaos.

ParentsConnect.com posted a great article called Momfinitions that defines some useful words that have yet to make it into the dictionary. You can check out their site here, it is a great place for parents to talk, learn and connect with each other, and it provides you with a good giggle when you need to relax. 

Here are some my favorite Momfinitions from their post, as well as a few of my own. Many of which put a PG spin on some recognizable terms, and all of which are guaranteed to give you a good laugh… (It’s one of those ‘it’s funny cuz it’s true’ kind of moments) 

When you are done giggling, feel free to add your own…..

  • Booty Call – A call from the bathroom letting you know it’s time to go wipe someone’s butt.
  • Sleevekerchief – What you use to catch your child’s snot when there is no tissue around.
  • Diapergami – The secret parenting fold that turn a nasty diaper into a tidy package ready for the trash.
  • Keything Ring – What your key ring becomes in a teething pain emergency at the grocery store.
  • Boobifier – The act of using one’s boob as a pacifier.
  • Wuice – The watered-down juice at the bottom of your child’s sippy cup after you have refilled it throughout the day.
  • Unhappy Hour – The hour between 5 and 6 pm when every mother in America is desperately trying to entertain whiny, hungry children while simultaneously fixing dinner and tidying the house.
  • Peemergency – That moment, after you have loaded 10 bags of groceries and 3 kids into the car and just got on the highway, when your child announces that he has to go potty. Right. That. Instant!
  • Invisaowie – An owie so small that you can’t even see it, but it still requires a band-aid in order to stop the crying.
  • Snooze Control – The act of handing your child the remote control so they can tune to Nick Jr allowing your to get a few more mins sleep.
  • Toppler – A topless toddler, usually the result of an unprepared mother forgetting to bring along a change of clothes.
  • Boy-o-sphere – That strange, stuffy, puppy-breath kind of smell that permeates in a boy’s room, especially after they have had their door closed all day. Is it the laundry? Their shoes? You can’t quite place where it’s coming from, but you’ll know it when you smell it.
  • For Flying Peter Pans – A saying you use instead of profanity, when in the presence of small children.
  • Pootie – A pouty little baby face.
  • Peed Racer – What a dad becomes when he realizes there is a dirty diaper to be changed.
  • Peenial – A child’s denial of their need to urinate.
  • Thumb-dumb – The moment you realize, that unlike a pacifier, you can not take a thumb away.
  • Pundeled – The inevitable fact that as soon as you have your child fully dressed in their winter gear they will have to go to the potty.
  • Auto Re-say – The need to constantly repeat everything you say at least 12 times a day.
  • Dead-time – That glorious moment when you actually believe your child has fallen asleep without a fight, only to hear the pitter-patter of little feet along the floor.
  • Tubby-tears – A phase that all children seem to go through where they scream and cry in the bath tub.
  • Waddle Feet – Letting your child walk around with his shoes on the wrong feet because it’s easier than the fight it will take to change them.
  • Slug Hug – When your toddler hugs your leg and wipes her nose on it at the same time.
  • Snop – The snotty, slimy back wash left on your cup after your toddler takes a sip of your drink.
  • Ca-moon-a-K-shun – Your toddlers inability to clearly pronounce words, making everything sound cute.
  • Know-it-doll – A little girl who seems to have all the answers.
  • Sleaky – That awful moment when you realize your baby’s diaper has failed you.
  • Rottle – A bottle that has been hidden under the couch for an unknown length of time.
  • Entertelement – One of those days when you ignore all limits and simply use the television as a tool for amusement.
  • Mom-over – The art of making yourself look normal for a night out without the kids.
  • Wondry -Wondering when the last time you wore clean clothes was.
  • Shower-Power – A mothers amazing ability to shower, get dressed and be ready to go in a matter of minutes.
  • Snare – That look that you get just before your child throws a temper tantrum in the middle of Walmart.
  • History – Reading, and re-reading, the same bedtime story every night for 3 months straight.

 Special thanks to: ParentConnect.com for such a humorous post on parenting.


 

Hiding Behind Mommy’s Leg


L is now 13 months old. Don’t get me started on how fast time flies, it honestly feels like she was born yesterday. She is now entering toddler stage, and walking running everywhere. One of her favorite things is to toddle along with me on the short journey to go an fetch her big brother from school. She will waddle down the sidewalk and every few steps she gets excited and breaks into a rather entertaining run jog quick wobble, it is quite amusing to watch, and all the while she will be yelling her brother’s name as she cheerfully races along.

L, Happy at Home!

 

At home L is an outgoing, independent little devil angel. She wanders from room to room basically doing as she pleases without much regard to anyone around. She might climb up on a lap to cuddle once in a while, but for the most part she is content doing her own thing.

But… you get her on to the school property where other mothers coo and caw at her cute charm (yes I am one of those mothers, I think my daughter is the cutest thing this side of ‘Babbling Boo’) When people, I should say – when adults try to talk to L her outgoing, adorable, crazy personality disappears, and she becomes by a shy, timid little girl peeking out from behind mommy’s leg.

It is humorous to watch, and especially happens when other ‘mothers’ talk to her. With men she will curiously stare as they speak, but another grown woman… she immediately clings to my leg and sometimes even cries! One of the parents in particular really gets her going.

A grandmotherly type woman, with a thick European accent and a warm caring face. This lovely lady (who must be in her late 70’s) is constantly telling me how beautiful my daughter is, how smart she is, and how cute she looks (all to which I can only reply: “I know” lol) But every time this kind-hearted woman attempts to talk to my daughter she shuts down….

Immediately L will stare at the ground, she refuses to look up, she shuffles her feet, and she often puts a hand up over her face to block the womans view… she acts SO shy…it’s funny as all hell to see, but it can be sad at the same time because should the woman continue, after L has seemingly made it clear she is wanting no part of this conversation, she will then come up beside me, barry her face in my leg, and burst into tears! Pouty lip and all!! God it really breaks your heart, but of course like the “mother of the year” I am… I can’t help but laugh!

I have to wonder where this shyness comes from, certainly not from me, I am probably the least shy person in the world. My son never had a ‘shy’ faze either so I am somewhat unsure of what the proper reaction is.. most of the time I just laugh at her and pick her up so she can press herself into my chest to hide from the scary grown-ups that want to say hello…

Truthfully I don’t want her to be shy, I don’t want to promote the behavior, but at the same time is it really that big a deal???

L has not been around many other people, besides close family, due most to the fact that her father is overprotective and sees her as a fragile little china doll that might smash to pieces at any moment… I have been trying to socialize her a bit more over the last few weeks, but as I said she is more content with us, or herself and shows no interest in talking to other grown-ups…. other children, she will just stand and watch as they play, unless it is her brother that is.

I take her to the park on warm days, the library, and for walks outside. She watches people, but rarely gets involved in what is going on… I will tell you the story of the library fiasco at a later date, but to sum it up she was watching a small boy as he was playing with a toy and when he attempted to have her join in on the fun she burst into tears… at which point this confused little beast slapped my bawling daughter across the face!!! LOL she was devastated and spent the rest of the time at the library sobbing soulfully as she hid behind my leg!!!

And so I wonder.. Should I force socialization? Do I make my daughter play, talk and interact? or Do I just sit back and allow nature to take its course? Letting her personality grow itself? Is it really that bad that she has no interest in other people? or Is it a phase that will soon pass?

Suds up…


My daily challenge for the day today was to Relax in a bath or shower…Not a difficult task really. I LOVE baths. Lazy, Luxurious. Baths. Bubble baths. Bath salts. Baby oil. Smelly soap. You name it… the hotter the better… Let me soak up the suds.

This ‘oh so difficult’ challenge reminded me of how much I really miss just lazing in a bath to unwind and relax. We had an apartment for a short while that didn’t have a bath tub… It had a shower stall only, and a VERY small one at that. Sure showers are great, they get the job done quickly and efficiently. They are a great way to “wake-up” in the morning when you need to get-up-and-go… but they don’t compare to baths when it comes to relaxation.

We also had an apartment once that didn’t have a shower…It had only a bath tub, and a small one at that. I didn’t mind so much, as I said I LOVE baths, but my husband was not happy with the situation. The bath tub, being about 4 ft in length (at the most) was a tad small for his larger frame, and he looked really funny trying to fit his whole self in to it in order to get clean… Needless to say that arrangement didn’t last long and soon we moved on to an apartment that provided us with both options.

But all this talk about baths really made me think about some of the best part of a bath when you are aiming to unwind, and so here are some tips and tricks to make your bath time a relaxing experience;

Turn up the tunes
One of my favorite things to do is listen to music in the bath. Not only does the radio drown out the sounds of the world outside the bathroom door, it helps my mind to escape for awhile and allows my body to relax. Choose a station or a CD that calms you and take some time to lay back and listen. Be sure to keep the stereo away from the water though, or invest in a shower radio to avoid the danger of electronics near the tub.

Turn down the lights
Set the scene for serenity by turning down the lights and lighting up some candles. There is just something about a bath by candle light that is instantly sensual. Try using smelly candles to pleasure all your senses at once. Again as a warning, be sure that your candles are on a sturdy surface and out of reach of any children that may wander in unannounced.

Bring on the bubbles
When you were a child bubbles became castles, beards, and wacky hairstyles. They provided endless entertainment during bath time, and they just made the experience more fun. As an adult bubbles in the bath provide a sweet smell and some moisture for dry skin. With a variety of different scents you can find the one that relaxes you most and add a few drops to the tub to unwind… heck make a castle or put on a beard too if you like, after all your a big kid now and you can bath yourself!

Loofahs, sponges and washcloths
The weather can create wear and tear on our bodies. Dry skin and flaky scalps are common among varying climates. Go out and grab yourself a good loofah to scrub off that dead skin and make yourself feel soft as a babies bottom. The puffy mesh of a loofah, combined with some great smelling body wash, is a great way to refresh worn out skin and heighten your senses. But don’t forget to wash behind your ears and in your belly button…

Test the temp
I always run into the problem of a bath that is either too hot, or too cold, be sure to get the water temperature ‘just right’ before you climb in. A bath that is too hot will burn your skin, and nothing ruins relaxation like a cold dip in the tub. Check the water temperature periodically as the tub is filling to ensure you create the perfect pool.

Don’t forget the follow-up
Because baths can dry-out your skin it is important that you remember to moisturize after climbing out. Once again find a moisturizer that smells great and makes your skin soft. Apply it to your body while your still wet to achieve the maximum absorption, making your skin feel soft and leaving it with a healthy glow.

A few more ideas to make your bath extra special;

  • Baby oil is a great tool for grown-up skin too. Add a few drops to fight off dry skin instantly.
  • Epson salts help ease aching muscles and relax your body fast.
  • Got a cold or flu? A few drops of Vick’s Vapor-rub in your bath water will clear out congestion and relax an aching chest.
  • Lavender scented bath products will help you sleep.
  • A cup of tea while you in the bath is one of the greatest things in the world.
  • Oatmeal baths ease itchy skin and help treat allergy related issues. Also very soothing for people that suffer from eczema or psoriasis.
  • Essential oils can help create a mood with only a few drops. Lavender for relaxing or citrus for invigoration, even Vanilla to spice things up before a big date. They are affordable and you only need a few drops.
  • Adding milk or powdered milk to your bath has a cooling effect and helps ease sun burnt skin.

No matter what you choose becareful to watch for a reaction or rash, some people have sensitive skin and need to test themselves before submerging their whole body.

Most of all make bath time,” Me Time” Lock the door, lay back and enjoy the warmth it brings, even if it only lasts a few minutes!

 

 

 

Living With Wild Monkeys… a.k.a. The Wrath of the Toddler..


Stewie Griffin

Image via Wikipedia

I saw this little poem on ‘Be a Fun Mum‘ and I thought I would share it with you. My daughter L recently turned 1 year-old, and is now on-the-go (a.k.a. destroying the house and driving me mad)

She is a; stubborn, (from me) Temperamental, (from dad) and completely adorable (definitely from me ;P) little devil!! It seems lately that every time I turn around I am grabbing something out of her mouth, hand, or general reach. I am constantly pulling her down off things, out of things, and away from things… it is like living with a rabid monkey. When you do have to take something from her, usually some small or disgusting object that will, no doubt, end up in her mouth, an item which usually you have no idea how she got it or often where it even came from, it is a war zone… Once you manage to catch her in order to get the object in question (she has started running the minute you approach) you must then attempt to pry it from her grasp… toddlers have an amazing amount of strength and determination… it is like trying to get a knot out of a necklace… she wraps those tiny fingers tight and wiggles like mad… if you do manage to pry the object from those tiny little sausage fingers you will then be faced with the astonishingly loud sound of her wails…. My daughter has the lungs of an opera singer.. When she cries you can hear her clear to the moon… Never in my life have I met a child with a louder, or more annoying scream than this little girl… and she uses this knowledge to her advantage in every possible situation!

Don’t let her age fool you know, this manipulative little devil KNOWS what’s going on, and she strategically plots out her ‘plan of action’ in order to get what she wants. I swear if I lifted the mattress of her crib I would surely find blue prints and intricate outlines on a mission to take over the world… she is like a cuter, less violent version of ‘Stewie’ from family guy!!!

Needless to say she is spoiled rotten because Daddy can’t bear to see her cry… and despite it all she is adorable, and loving when she wants to be….

This poem is a remind that it’s a good thing kids are cute… Enjoy!

Toddler

If it is on, I must turn it off.

If it is off, I must turn it on.

If it is folded, I must unfold it.

If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.

If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

If it is high, it must be reached.

If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.

If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

If it has leaves, they must be picked.

If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.

If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.

If it is closed, it must be opened.

If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.

If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.

If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.

If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest.

It must be pushed by me instead.

If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.

If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.

If it is paper, it must be torn.

If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

If the volume is low, it must go high.

If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.

If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.

If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.

If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.

If it is a phone, I must talk to it.

If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.

If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

If it is not food, it must be tasted.

If it IS food, it must not be tasted.

If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.

If it is a car-seat, it must be protested with arched back.

If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

I am toddler!

– author unknown

 

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, “keep away from children.”
Susan Savannah

My Life…. In Shambles!


It has been chaotic around here… to say the least! We are in the midst of moving (Yes, again!) and my life is currently in shambles!

For those of you who have just joined me on my journey let me give you a quick update to get you up to speed… I recently (2 months ago) relocated to ‘the big city’ from the small city of Barrie,Ontario. Packing up the Hubby, kids, toys, and the dog we found a cute little apartment in a quiet area and away we went. The move went well and we were excited to start a new life in a city where we could make new friends, meet new people and start fresh, free of the stresses our old life held….

Unfortunately things don’t always go as planned, (especially in my life) and we ran into a few minor (and by minor I mean major) bumps in the road to happiness. First and foremost, the ‘cute’ little apartment turned out to be a death trap of insanity. With elephants above us, mold in the walls, leaks in the ceiling, and rotting fish in the oven, I was convinced that the world was against me. One little issue kept leading to another and the stress of the mess was causing some major frustrations on the home front. Finally fed up with a landlord who was clearly just ‘in it for the cash’ I decided that I would not scarifice my families health and happiness because some idiot would not step up and do his job…. thus I gave my notice and set out in search of a ‘real’ home. I stumbled across a real gem in the middle of the city. The hubby’s friend called up and told us about the main floor of a house he was renting in, the tenants had moved out unexpectedly and the space was vacant, he asked if we were still looking for a place and if we wanted to see it… We decided to have a look at it. I was apprehensive at first, moving to this house would mean that C would have to switch schools in the middle of the year (again) and it was in an area I had not considered before, but pushing my doubts aside we made the trek over to check it out…

The house was “perfect” (for us) and we fell in love on the spot. There were no leaks, no mold, no elephants upstairs, there was a great yard with room for a garden, the school was 6 doors down, and it was close to the subway! The area was great (although the road is a little busier than I prefer) and there are many shops and stores around to feed my ‘shopaholic’ habit! It was a little more money than I had intended to spend, but it was worth it when you considered all the perks it possessed…. and so we took it on the spot!

That was less than 2 weeks ago!

Since then we have been slowly (and by slowly I mean slowly) moving our stuff out of the ‘death trap’ little by little! We have all the basics and have been spending our nights there, we are currently camped out in the living room with a mattress on the floor until we can arrange to have our couch and bed delivered. We have only a single frying pan, a few cookie sheets and roasting pan to cook with, and it is a bit like going on a vacation in a cabin in the woods. But… it is better than the smell of mold constantly assaulting your nostrils, or the never-ending sound of an out-of-control child stomping, screaming, and slamming things from above. It is better than the repetitive sound of a drip as the ceiling leaks in the bathroom, and it is better than the cramped space of an overheated tiny apartment meant for two… and so I will take ‘roughing it’ for a few days over the drama of the old place any day, besides it allows me to utilize my creativity as I try to concoct a dinner on only a frying pan, or build a fort for the kids to ‘camp’ in through the night!

We will be getting all of our furnishings on Friday and then my task will be set out to organize the new house and try to make it look full with our minimal furniture and belongings… but on the bright side of things it gives me an excuse to go shopping!!!!

Having moved to another area of the city means that ‘C’ is going to have to switch schools, yet again, mid year. I was afraid that this would be upsetting for him, but my little trooper is actually very excited… his reply when I explained the situation… “That’s fine Mom, it means that I am going to have friends all over the world one day, and no matter where I go I’ll know someone!” He is a positive thinker…

So that is the drama of my life so far, things are a bit of a mess at the moment, but the outlook is good and we are optimistic. Most of our stress is diminishing with this new place and we can start focusing on our goals and working towards a better future. We have finally found a great house, despite the fact that I don’t care much for our new landlord (and he doesn’t seem to care much for me either… but that’s another story for another time) it is a really great house, with plenty of space and a unique charm that I adore. I am looking forward to getting my decorating done (which I have already begun, of course) and enjoying life here for a long time to come. I have decided that the next time I move it will be into a ‘purchased’ home, so I think I will be in this rental a VERY long time!

Once we are settled it is back to my regular duties of being a mother, a wife, a writer and a friend, it is back to having fun and sharing laughter. Back to cleaning the house and cooking the dinner, bathing the kids, and being a grown-up… but for now I will go build a fort and hide inside enjoying the moment I have to pretend that life is as simple as a single frying pan…..

Until Next Time….

Write On!


Why? Because This Is My House….


Call me Crazy, but there are rules in my house. Rules, regulations, and strict guidelines that I expect others (a.k.a children) to follow in detail. No, I don’t run my home like a boot-camp (although I sometimes put the idea into consideration) but there are basic rules that I have put in place in order to save everyone’s (a.k.a my own) sanity.

Now these rules have not always been in place, in fact, with my first child I made a number of mistakes in the discipline department. Being just the two of us for most of his life, he basically had free roam of the household (excluding anything that could cause him bodily harm) He was always a loving, affectionate boy, who stuck to me like glue, but as he has grown (though still stuck to my side throughout most of the day) I have noticed the impact that this ‘lack of structure’ approach has had on his life.

I can thank my BF for opening my eyes to the parenting mistakes I have made with my son over the last 7 years. Discipline is a constant battle in our household, as we both have very different parenting styles. (and he has an attention for detail that I just do not hold) Allowing my son free roam without any set routine, rules, or basic structure has led to a 7 year-old who has no problem solving abilities what-so-ever!!! Instead of thinking for himself, it is easier for my son to wait for me to tell him what to do, and of course I do so on a regular basis. Why?? because it is easier for me as well. It is a bad habit that is slowly being broken around here. I have just began noticing how much I actually do for my son since the birth of my daughter last year. When someone questions what C is doing I often answer for him, (this has led to countless argument between my BF and I because it causes my son to under-mind what he is saying, and lowers the level of respect my son has for my BF.. and THAT is a problem) I get his breakfast, (even though the kid is more than capable of pouring a bowel of cereal himself without a mess of any kind) I make, and pack, his school lunch daily, (which is for the most part another one of those things he could do on his own) and I constantly do other little things for him that he is more than able to complete on his own…. I do these things subconsciously, without any thought to what I am doing, but I want to stop because it truly has produced a LAZY little boy who has no idea how to think, or act, by his own devices.

So, I came up with some rules, and much to my sons dismay, these rules are expected to be followed… They are posted clearly in sight beside his bed and throughout other areas of the house in order to remind him daily (so that I don’t verbally have to, although I still have to remind him to actually read the list in the first place) and also to help remind me that positive discipline, and effective parenting begins with consistency. These rules consist of such items as;

  • Get dressed before you leave your bedroom – I set out clothes the night before because, left to his own devices, my son would most definitely get beat up for his mismatched clothing choices, or opt to wear army camouflage every single day!
  • Make your bed. – Although this one needs perfecting, because the lumps and bumps drive me nuts and I usually end up going in and fixing it when he leaves the room anyway, it still teaches him that there are basic responsibilities, and routines, he has to complete daily.
  • Tidy your room – He does well with this rule, and thankfully I don’t have one of those kids that tries to hide everything under his bed, but I swear to GOD my son has the potential to become a hoarder in the future. The amount of strange little items I find collected among his toys is absurd, why does anyone need a thousand pieces of shredded paper?? He needs to work on his organizational skills, but he is improving rapidly in the cleaning department.
  • Eat breakfast – Pretty straight forward. Yes, I pour the cereal for him, more out of habit than need, but he is expected to sit straight, eat with proper manners and clean up the table and his dishes when he is finished.
  • Pack your lunch – I will make the lunch, just to ensure that it consists of something healthy, and does not contain only chocolate and potato chips, but he is to pack it up and put it in his bag. If he forgets it… well then I guess he will be really hungry after school!!
  • Brush teeth – It seems that no matter how many places I write this rule it is just a forgettable act! If he actually does do it than it is a battle for him to do it right!!! I can’t win with this one and it drives me CRAZY! Having suffered with bad teeth my whole life I try to drill this rule into his head, but he just doesn’t seem to get it, or just doesn’t care, that it is the most important rule listed.
  • Get ready for school – This means your bag is packed, your homework is done, and you are dressed and at the door. Period!

Along with these listed rules are the times they should be completed (e.g. 7:30 wake up, 8:00 eat breakfast) We have a list for morning routines, and evening routines. We also have a sign that lists proper table manners, the proper way to brush your teeth (complete with a 2 minute timer) and set places for toys, books, and art items…. We have lists of weekly chores, with a reward system, and daily chores, all constructed with appropriate sized boxes for checking off when they have been completed. There is structure, organization, and routine. (Things that do not come to me naturally, but since being incorporated are slowly making a difference…. Very slowly!!!)

I do not want to be a drill sergeant, in fact, I have a difficult time being strict, and often feel mean. I am also realistic, I do not expect perfection, and I know that these rules will not change his behavior over-night, but I do know that with structure, routine, affection, and discipline children are more likely to grow into responsible adults. I am careful to show praise for a job well done, and punish bad behavior appropriately, I am clear about both my expectations and the consequences if they are not met. I keep all chores age appropriate, and I ensure that my child is not feeling overwhelmed. It may sound harsh to you but children truly require discipline in order to grow and learn what is, and is not, acceptable, in order to become healthy, happy adults, and our routine works for us!

I wish more people took the time to create structure and routine in their children’s lives, I know that I personally wish I had done it years earlier, it would have saved me a ton of stress and many arguments, and it would have made my son a more well-rounded person, but I have taken the steps to improve my parenting now, and better late than never. Almost any bad behavior can be corrected it just takes time and effort on the part of the parents to make the change a reality. I am not an expert, in fact I am far from it, but I am witnessing change first hand and it is a wonderful feeling!

So I Have Gotten A Little Side-Tracked…


Well my “post a day” challenge has fallen apart. Actually it is basically in a million pieces on the floor at the moment. So I figure instead of sitting in denial and driving myself insane with my conceived failure I am going to opt for a “post a week” challenge instead, because as my life gets busier the warmer the weather gets posting each day is just going to get harder and harder. So I admit defeat… life has won the battle against me and my writing, I accept it… but I won’t wave the white flag just yet, I will post at least once a week, and more if possible… so all is not lost, I am not giving up completely. I will strive for success one way or another!!!

In the meantime I will update you on the happenings at my house. C has settled into his new school perfectly. He has made friends and is learning new things each and everyday. On the way to school the other day he gave me a brief history lesson on the life of Martin Luther King Jr, and he has just begun a weekend Basketball camp that promotes reading in young boys.

The BF and I are still putting the finishing touches on the new place and we get a little more done each day. There are a few small things left to fix up and some items that we need to purchase, but it feels like home for the most part…. other than the annoying neighbours who are still driving me mad!!!

L has started walking full-out now, she took her first steps about a month and a half ago and now she is on her feet all hours of the day, she toddles around the house and even makes an attempt at running when she is really excited. It is funny to watch and a handful to monitor… hence the lack of posting….

Things are quiet (well for the most part) and happy around here. We added two new members to our family.. The BF got me two budgies that I named Milo and Twitter! They are just the cutest little things and they bring a smile to my face daily! Life is busy at the moment and about to get busier as the weather starts to warm up and I can actually get out of the house and explore the city….

So this is why I have been neglecting my posting lately, and why I am now choosing to accept that with two young children, the BF, the dog, two birds and a house to care for, I will not be able to post each day… well not if I want to actually post something with depth and merit anyway…. so I will write when I can (once a week at least) and that way I can write with the passion, enjoyment and substance I desire.

For now here is a picture of L toddling around the house carrying her little pink purse like the spoiled little princess that she is….

Clear…Clutter…Chaos…Crazy…Cuckoo…


Maybe its the bad weather…. the bitter cold, and the endless snowflakes that seem to fall from the heavens daily. Perhaps its the cabin fever, or the kids… or maybe I am just a BITCH! I don’t know, what I do know is that lately everything seems to be annoying me…. most of all the chaotic, disorganized disaster I call a home!!

It seems that no matter how many toys I pick up, papers I put away, or dishes I pile into the cabinets, this house is a constant write off. I clean one room and move on to another, only to return to the same mess I tidied in the first place. (either someone is playing a very mean trick on me, the house is haunted, I am hallucinating, or my family sucks!) Actually…. I think we just have too much stuff! Even after having just

moved to a new home, in a new city, leaving a large amount of items behind, we still have too much damn stuff…. I wonder sometimes where it all comes from!

Every surface in my home becomes a dumping ground for clutter. Every dresser, desk, table, and ledge in this home is filled with papers, junk mail, knick-knacks, and just crap in general! It is driving me mad… clearing the clutter has become an endless battle (a battle that I am losing, miserably!)

Let me drive this home for you, I want you to feel my frustration, I want you to truly understand the extent of chaos as I witness it daily… Just this afternoon I was in the living-room and I looked over at the large L-shaped desk I had recently purchased to house our beloved computers and help organize our work space, and it was cluttered with papers, pens, and other various items that did not belong to this location.  I dove on the job and quickly de-cluttered the area with ease. Problem solved! Perfect! I was content.

It’s funny how clearing clutter off open surfaces is the quickest and easiest way to make a room appear tidier. If ever you have company coming and you need a quick  fix, opt for clearing the clutter rather than washing the floors, it is a fail proof way to make the house appear clean without actually cleaning.  (Yes, It is sad that I am giving you tips on how to clean without cleaning!)

Anyway…. I returned to the room awhile later only to find that the desk had

miraculously, (magnetically?) attracted all that clutter right back to itself…. (mess fairy?) I was livid!!! What’s the point? Why clear the clutter if it is just going to wander back on its own anyway??? Should I just throw in the towel? Wave the white flag and admit defeat? Seems the easiest route in this situation, I mean this is an endless battle that one woman cannot take on alone….. and this woman is exhausted!

Organization has never been my strong suit, I can get things organized in the first place perfectly, but keeping them that way is where the issue lies. (Especially when there are three other people in this house that have no interest in my attempts to create an orderly environment) I could start a business organizing other peoples houses. In fact, I could make millions doing it because I wouldn’t have to keep it that way. I could go in, get it done, and get out. Leaving satisfied customers with clean homes where everything has its place, and there is a place for everything. No problem…. But no matter how many times I do this in my house the clutter comes back, quickly. Perhaps if it was happening over time it wouldn’t bother me so much, I probably wouldn’t even notice it happening, but its not over time…. We are talking instantly here, it’s disturbing really…..

So whats my plan??? Truthfully…. I don’t have one. No, for now I will just keep clearing out the same clutter time-and-time again until I get fed-up and throw it all away…..(or throw out my family, whichever seems easier at the time) Until then I will gear up and meet this profound battle head-on. So…Wish me luck! (Oh and feel free to suit up and join me, I can use all the help I can get. Send a couple of Spartans over if you happen to have them lying around actually, anything to make this easier on poor little me!!)