Just Another Day in Creepsville


Those of you that know me personally know that I do not really look my age (30…Ah!). At 5 Feet tall and 100 pounds, I often get mistaken for a teenager from a distance and I am carded regularly when trying to buy liquor. (Which of course, is very flattering, but I do not believe for one second that I look that young!) Still, the point is I tend to look like a young woman (especially since I lack the boobs to be anything else, and sometimes the maturity level is questionable…) and this fact is not always a good thing.

Enter Creepsville. 2013-03-04_00-26-172

Creepsville is the place where all those wonky men come from that just do not seem to have the tact required to approach a woman. It is the place that houses those males that say all the wrong things, stalk, prowl the streets for a date, or hover too close in the clubs. Basically, Creepsville is where the Creeps come from… And they always seem to come to me.

Just the other morning I was on my way to pick up my daughter from her dads after their weekly ‘me’ time. The weather was warm, and it was a Sunday morning so I knew that taking a bus would be utter BS (the transit in my city is a disaster, but that is another post for another time) Anyways… I was wearing blue jeans, a green tank top, and running shoes (that belong to my 10 year-old son btw) I was by no means dressed in a provocative manner, or looking like a whore.

Yet as I was cruising along with my Ipod blasting Britney Spears in my ears I noticed a very nice truck pass by me on one of the main streets not far from my house. I am a big fan of big trucks and this one was flashy (something I thought I would look really good in)…

The walk from my house to my daughters dad’s takes me approximately 30 – 40 minutes (and I am a fast walker) It is located downtown and I live uptown so I usually follow the main roads and take a few smaller residential one in between working my way down diagonally.

The truck passed by and I went about my mission humming to myself and imagining I was famous inside my head. A few blocks down the road I noticed a really nice truck, and then another, and then another and I thought to myself… There is NO F**KING way that many people drive the same really nice truck in a small city this size… (Yep, I am blonde did I mention that)

Needless to say I started to pay attention to what was happening around me at this point and noticed the truck go by another two times before it passed me and turned down a side road ahead. As I crossed the road it had turned down I noticed it reversing in order to come back my way and I decided to pull out my phone and text my kids dad. I told him I thought someone was following me (realizing after I sent it how paranoid that would sound). At this point I was walking past two schools that are located right across from one another, which means there are no houses there and I am stuck between a road and a chain link fence. I thought to myself… This wacko is going to pull up right here and I am trapped… Sure enough that’s what happened.

I look over and there is this large truck coming to a stop beside me, its window rolling down and the driver leaning in to talk… I took a quick look around and realized that the nearest witness was a older couple on a porch across the football field and over two fences.

Turning to the driver I was surprised to hear him say, “Listen, I had to ask, do you want to come out on my boat with me today?”

LIKE, ARE YOU F**KING SERIOUS!!!!???

Let me think about this for a second….. Hmmm… Do I want to hop in a big truck with a strange man who plans to take me out in his boat to a deserted lake somewhere??? Tempting right???? HA!

I actually asked him if he was serious…. That is how unserious I thought he was… I was looking around for Ashton Kutcher, I was sure I was being punked…

Instead…

“Is this what you do? Drive around looking for young girls on Sunday morning’s on their way home from church? Seriously?

I gotta say, since you were stalking me for the last 18 blocks I already had a good description of your vehicle to give the police, including your licence plate number, and now I have a fairly detailed one of you as well… Including the wedding band on your left hand… So listen buddy you should probably go home to your wife.”

Funny, he didn’t seem interested in a boat ride with me after that…..?

I thought that I should share this though as a warning (I am being serious for a second) Perhaps he was just a nice guy who liked the look of my ass and really did just wanna take me out on a ‘boat’ trip, but I highly doubt it and the situation was weird enough to creep me out (not a simple thing to accomplish) so there was more to it than that. Normal men do not follow a woman for several blocks and creep her out in order to get a date. They also have enough sense to realize that a normal woman is not going to hop in a car with a stranger (and certainly not a boat). Normal men do not prowl the streets at 9am on a Sunday morning and stop to chat with girls that apparently look 18 (and that day I really did look a LOT younger than I truly am) No, this was a creep from Creepsville and they are everywhere. So educate yourself and learn to protect yourself (even if it is simply with a strong attitude and a big voice… remember most predators want easy prey and are more likely to pass on someone who seems like they will put up a fight or cause a scene) Seriously, as humorous as this situation was to me, it would not have been funny at all if it were my niece or daughter, or someone else’s daughter that was not as big a BITCH as I am…

P.S. I did end up contacting the police and gave a good description.. Although I didn’t actually have the licence plate number and truly have no clue if there really was ring on his left hand… but he looked at it when I said it and left pretty quick so I am assuming it was a smart comment to make… 

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