Close Your Eyes and Scream…

I have a wild imagination, I always have. Even as a child I was always dreaming up crazy ideas, strange new worlds, and amazing adventures. This wild imagination was the source of many great stories, it was also the cause of many great dreams, fantasies, and even nightmares

I have always been a vivid dreamer, I can usually wake up and remember what my dreams were about in very specific detail. In the past my dreams have been so realistic at times that I can smell and feel in them with such clarity that it is sometimes hard to distinguish what is real from what is a dream. It is because of this wild imagination, and these colorful, lifelike dreams that I have had to endure a lifetime of equally realistic nightmares.

I remember these nightmares from when I was a child. The fear and anxiety they would often bring. These dreams back then were often about animals or fantasy creatures. I remember one recurring dream about a bear killing my grandmothers dog right in front of my eyes. I recall seeing the dogs paw chopped up and placed on a platter outside the window from where I was hiding. In this dream the bear was attacking me and the dog came to my rescue, only to be defeated while saving my life. This dream plagued me for years, though it is silly to think about now, at the time it was frightening.

Of course as I have grown I have experienced less of these nightmares, though once in a while I will suffer from one. After the birth of my son I had constant dreams of him being kidnapped. Dreams that someone came to steal him in the night. Horrible dreams where I would be searching frantically for him in the dark, knowing that he was gone. These dreams are always disturbing, but thankfully it is easy to reassure yourself that this was just a dream with the simple act of opening your child’s bedroom door.

Other dreams have not been so easy to forget….

Just last night I have a vivid and horrifying dream that two men in masks were outside my window. When I saw that these men had guns I ducked, but my hubby was shot. Crawling across the floor I made it to my sons room and pulled him from his bed. I ran across the hall to my daughter and found she was still asleep.. Not wanting her to wake and start screaming my son and I huddled under her bed. One of the men came into her room, all I could see was his feet. He came towards her crib and leaned down towards her… In my dream I had a knife that I had grabbed on my way past the kitchen. I took this knife and reached out from under the bed cutting this man’s Achilles tendon (the back of his foot) blood sprayed everywhere.  I climbed out from under the crib, the masked man was screaming in pain and my daughter had awakened and was screaming as well. I grabbed the man’s gun and headed down the hall, the man in my daughter room was unable to stand or run because I had cut the back of his feet, so I set out to find the second masked man… who saw me coming with gun in hand and fled through the front door. I ran over to my hubby who was bleeding badly on the floor and I called 911. In my dream I knew he was going to die and I felt rage building deep inside of me.. I could smell the tin scent of his blood and felt the wetness on my hands. I returned to my daughter’s room… BTW I had taken my children and hidden them in the closet if you are wondering… the man I had cut was lying on the floor withering in pain. Anger took over me and as he reached up his hand I shot him… Satisfied that he was dead, and hearing the police sirens in the distance I reached down to remove his mask…

That is when I woke up! I never got to see his face, that frustrates me…

Now, although I am a grown-up and I know this was only a dream, it was frightening. It was frightening because it used all my senses… my dreams always seem to do that. I could feel fear, smell blood, feel the sticky wetness of it on my finger tips. I could feel my hubby’s short breaths on my face as I bent down to listen to his heart. I could feel my children’s fear and panic as they realized what was happening in their home where they were supposed to be safe. I could truly ‘feel’ the overwhelming rage when I realized that my hubby was going to die, and I could feel the strength of the gun and the spray of blood as I shot the man lying on the floor. Every sensation was real, I could feel it as if it was happening in reality. It is a scary and uncontrollable feeling.

Now that I am grown it is rare that I wake from one of these dreams and still feel fear. I have a wild imagination, but I have logic as well. I can easily console myself and I am aware of the reality around me. As a child though, nightmares can scare you to no end and it can take a long while before you are able to realize that what you saw, felt, and sensed in your dream was not actually part of reality. It can be confusing, I remember that fear, but now I am grown and I know the difference between a dream and life…

The only thing I wonder is why I have these dreams? Who dreams about horrible things like this? Why? What triggers such deep-rooted subconscious fear inside of me? I believe that we dream the things we do for a reason, but what reason could I possibly have for dreaming such horrible and frightening things???

I decided to look up the meaning of some of my dreams…

According to the dreams I used to have about my son being kidnapped mean that I am not letting aspects or characteristics of him be expressed within me. That I am trying to contain or suppress his qualities.

The dream about the bear that I used to have regularly could denote aggression, overwhelming obstacles, and competition. It may have meant that I was facing a threatening situation.

As for this dream I looked up Intruders and found no results. Burglary indicates that you are feeling violated or that personal space has been invaded. You feel helpless in some situation or relationship. This could be due to a major change in your life. Give yourself some time to adjust to your new environment. Murder (which cam up as killing) states that: To dream that you kill someone, indicates that you are on the verge of losing your temper and self-control. Consider the person you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards him or her in your waking life. Your dream may be expressing some hidden anger. Alternatively, you may be trying to kill an aspect of yourself that is represented by the person killed. Identify the characteristics of this person and ask yourself which of these qualities you are trying to put an end to… Which makes no sense as I have no idea who the man was that I killed. As for my hubby dying in my dream it says: To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what you like about them. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life anymore… which is actually quite creepy!

I don’t know that this dream translates so literally, but I do know that it is a disturbing thing for anyone to dream… Why I dream of these horrible things I may never know… but at least I have grown and learned that they are not reality…

Now I will leave you with the thought that I am obviously crazy because I dream of such creepy things, and a few interesting facts about dreams and nightmares:

  • Definition of a nightmare: A nightmare is a terrifying or deeply upsetting dream of particular intensity causing strong feelings of fear, horror and distress.
  • About 5% – 10% of adults have nightmares once a month or more frequently.
  • Nightmares are related either to physiological causes, such as a high fever, or to psychological ones, such as unusual trauma or stress in the dreamer’s life.
  • Recent studies suggest that adults who have frequent nightmares tend to be more open, sensitive and emotional than average.
  • Studies have identified common reported themes in nightmares dreams include situations relating to school, being chased, sexual experiences, falling, arriving late, death, teeth falling out, flying and car accidents.
  • For most Five minutes after the end of the dream, half the content is forgotten. After ten minutes, 90% is lost.
  • Toddlers do not dream about themselves. In fact they do not appear in their dreams until the age of 3 or 4 years.
  • If you are snoring, you are not dreaming.
  • The original meaning of the word “nightmare” was a female spirit who besets people at night while they sleep.

4 thoughts on “Close Your Eyes and Scream…

  1. I have a little problem with crazy dreams as well. Althoug mine are never frighting or anything, they get me through the craziest moments and all. It never makes sense nor could it ever be true. So when I wake up, I found the outcome pretty much disturbing. Am I a lunatic or what?

  2. I think these wacky dreams are just our minds way of sorting through the rubble, I don’t think they mean anything and are more just bits and pieces of things we picked up along the way that needs to be sorted and stored! But Trust me… I feel crazy sometimes with the wacky things I dream about!!! LOL

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