The Funny Lessons You Learn From Your Children…


This was emailed to me a while back, and it was one of emails that made me laugh so hard I just had to share…I am not sure of the original source, but God it gave me a good giggle!

For those of you who have children, you will understand… For those of you who don’t, you probably won’t want to understand after reading this….

The Funny Lessons You Learn From Your Children:

1. A king-sized water-bed holds enough water to fill a 2000sq ft home 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with

roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded

restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong

enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman under-wear and a

Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to

spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When

using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit

by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already

too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a

36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year

old Boy.

11. Play Dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super Glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still

can’t walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR‘s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials

show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not

like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms

dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats can throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake

fluid.

Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without

kids.


For those with no children – this is totally hysterical.


For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.


For those who have children this age, this is not funny.


For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.


For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.


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4 thoughts on “The Funny Lessons You Learn From Your Children…

  1. jajaja, thanks for posting this. Definitely good for some laughs. My little munchkin isn’t quite at the destructo-devil point yet, but I’m already bracing for it, having perusded Shit my Kids Ruined from time to time.

  2. jajaja, thanks for posting this. Definitely good for some laughs. My little munchkin isn’t quite at the destructo-devil point yet, but I’m already bracing for it, having perused Shit my Kids Ruined from time to time.

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