Speaking in Tongues… Momfinitions


Communicating with children can be difficult on a good day. Making the choice to have children means learning an entirely new language, consisting of words that after often made up on a whim. It

means learning sign language, and being creative in your expression and understanding. Parenthood can be related to travel in a foreign country where the simplest communications can become complicated chaos.

ParentsConnect.com posted a great article called Momfinitions that defines some useful words that have yet to make it into the dictionary. You can check out their site here, it is a great place for parents to talk, learn and connect with each other, and it provides you with a good giggle when you need to relax. 

Here are some my favorite Momfinitions from their post, as well as a few of my own. Many of which put a PG spin on some recognizable terms, and all of which are guaranteed to give you a good laugh… (It’s one of those ‘it’s funny cuz it’s true’ kind of moments) 

When you are done giggling, feel free to add your own…..

  • Booty Call – A call from the bathroom letting you know it’s time to go wipe someone’s butt.
  • Sleevekerchief – What you use to catch your child’s snot when there is no tissue around.
  • Diapergami – The secret parenting fold that turn a nasty diaper into a tidy package ready for the trash.
  • Keything Ring – What your key ring becomes in a teething pain emergency at the grocery store.
  • Boobifier – The act of using one’s boob as a pacifier.
  • Wuice – The watered-down juice at the bottom of your child’s sippy cup after you have refilled it throughout the day.
  • Unhappy Hour – The hour between 5 and 6 pm when every mother in America is desperately trying to entertain whiny, hungry children while simultaneously fixing dinner and tidying the house.
  • Peemergency – That moment, after you have loaded 10 bags of groceries and 3 kids into the car and just got on the highway, when your child announces that he has to go potty. Right. That. Instant!
  • Invisaowie – An owie so small that you can’t even see it, but it still requires a band-aid in order to stop the crying.
  • Snooze Control – The act of handing your child the remote control so they can tune to Nick Jr allowing your to get a few more mins sleep.
  • Toppler – A topless toddler, usually the result of an unprepared mother forgetting to bring along a change of clothes.
  • Boy-o-sphere – That strange, stuffy, puppy-breath kind of smell that permeates in a boy’s room, especially after they have had their door closed all day. Is it the laundry? Their shoes? You can’t quite place where it’s coming from, but you’ll know it when you smell it.
  • For Flying Peter Pans – A saying you use instead of profanity, when in the presence of small children.
  • Pootie – A pouty little baby face.
  • Peed Racer – What a dad becomes when he realizes there is a dirty diaper to be changed.
  • Peenial – A child’s denial of their need to urinate.
  • Thumb-dumb – The moment you realize, that unlike a pacifier, you can not take a thumb away.
  • Pundeled – The inevitable fact that as soon as you have your child fully dressed in their winter gear they will have to go to the potty.
  • Auto Re-say – The need to constantly repeat everything you say at least 12 times a day.
  • Dead-time – That glorious moment when you actually believe your child has fallen asleep without a fight, only to hear the pitter-patter of little feet along the floor.
  • Tubby-tears – A phase that all children seem to go through where they scream and cry in the bath tub.
  • Waddle Feet – Letting your child walk around with his shoes on the wrong feet because it’s easier than the fight it will take to change them.
  • Slug Hug – When your toddler hugs your leg and wipes her nose on it at the same time.
  • Snop – The snotty, slimy back wash left on your cup after your toddler takes a sip of your drink.
  • Ca-moon-a-K-shun – Your toddlers inability to clearly pronounce words, making everything sound cute.
  • Know-it-doll – A little girl who seems to have all the answers.
  • Sleaky – That awful moment when you realize your baby’s diaper has failed you.
  • Rottle – A bottle that has been hidden under the couch for an unknown length of time.
  • Entertelement – One of those days when you ignore all limits and simply use the television as a tool for amusement.
  • Mom-over – The art of making yourself look normal for a night out without the kids.
  • Wondry -Wondering when the last time you wore clean clothes was.
  • Shower-Power – A mothers amazing ability to shower, get dressed and be ready to go in a matter of minutes.
  • Snare – That look that you get just before your child throws a temper tantrum in the middle of Walmart.
  • History – Reading, and re-reading, the same bedtime story every night for 3 months straight.

 Special thanks to: ParentConnect.com for such a humorous post on parenting.


 

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