Because I Need To Smile Today….


I need a good laugh today, or at least a little smile. So… instead of ranting and raving about how my beautiful little devil angel won’t sleep, how I can’t seem to get this house in order, or how the noise from the people upstairs (combined with my insane little devil angel) has prevented me from sleeping for days now and caused serious tension in my household, I decided that I would laugh… and since I am going to laugh I may as well help others laugh along with me…. So here is a few jokes to make you smile, giggle, or just plain laugh out loud… because as “they” say laughter is the best medicine…(and this is one time I think “they” may actually be right)

  • How are husbands like lawn mowers?
    They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t work.
  • How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
    He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
  • A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
    A husband, “Put ‘MYPENIS’ ” and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, “Error. Not long enough.”
  • Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It’s $5. if you make your own bed.
    Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
    Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
  • Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra.
    Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
    Wife: You wear shorts!
  • What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
  • Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, “Holy Shit it’s hot in here!” The other muffin says, “Holy Shit… A talking muffin!”
  • A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world” The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”

Hope these jokes courtesy of http://www.lotsofjokes.com helped to brighten your day, and possibly bring you some warmth during this bitter cold!!!! 

 

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