There are just some things I can not deal with first thing in the morning. Among those things are; loud noises, small kitchen fires, a ringing phone, a knock on the door, sick children, any sort of chaos, and most importantly, perky people.
There was once a time when I was one of those ‘perky people.’ I would wake up at an ungodly hour, and be as chipper as a canary in the morning sun. I would sing, dance, and giggle away as I puttered around the house during my morning routine. In fact, I was the worst kind of ‘perky person,’ I would wake other people up, and expect them to be just as perky as I….. the thought of it now makes me shutter. How could I be cruel?
I actually remember a time when I snuck in and woke my roommate by singing, “Wakey, wakey, eggs, and bakey…” at the top of my lungs in a perky happy voice, nearly causing her to suffer a coronary, and possibly ruining her entire day! Honestly, I have no idea why I thought this was amusing at the time, and I would probably be locked away for murder if someone did this to me now, but at the time it was hilarious, well, to me anyway. God I was awful!
Somewhere between highschool, and two children, I lost that ‘perky person’ mentality, and I can not even begin to describe the utter loathing I have for such people at this point in my life. I just can not recall why I ever had the desire to be awake and happy so early in the morning. I can not remember what sort of motivation I had to be so dam happy, and I have no clue why any adult now would want to be this way. Don’t get me wrong I am up early, but awake? now that is a whole different story…… I am not fully awake these days until I have had at least two coffees, a few moments to myself, the kids are in bed, and the sun is setting for the evening….
My BF is one of those ‘perky people.’ He will often wake up and hum as he zips around the house getting ready for his day. He will turn on lights, get the baby up, and wake the whole household in general, not ever fully understanding why I am not happy that he is happy…. it’s not that I don’t want him to be happy… I just need to power up my brain before I deal with such ridiculous behaviour. (or any behaviour, for that matter)
I feel like a crab apple sometimes. I have become that crabby lady who yells at the neighbours for tip-toeing across the floor at 7 a.m. ( OK it’s not quite that bad, but it gets close some days!) I wonder where my happiness went???
Not that I am not happy, I am, it just that perky, immature antics somehow escape my sense of humour before the hour of 10 a.m. (OK maybe closer to 10 p.m.) or a couple of cups of coffee, which ever comes first.
I don’t like to be woken suddenly, I like to wallow in my sleepy state for as long as I possibly can. I like to stretch, doze, and for the most part slowly awake on my own time. This is probably an odd desire for a woman with two children, one of which is a screaming, crying, attention seeking
devil infant, but it is the best option for everyone involved.
Sure there are times I wish I was still that chipper person, so I could enjoy a sunrise, creep in to my children’s rooms during the wee hours of the morning and simply kiss them while they sleep, or simply enjoy the quiet moments that occur before the chaos begins, but those days have passed, and I enjoy my sleep a lot more than I enjoy those moments apparently… so for now I will stick to my shut-eye and save everyone the hassle of dealing with me in the early morning hours. As for all you ‘perky people’ my advice to you is to just let us ‘crab apples’ sleep, it is by-far, the safest option available.