The Position Of Mom


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Image by Madilyn Peiper via Flickr

Today is just “One-of-those-days.” I have a lot of those days actually, but today is definitely one of the more significant ones. I don’t feel like doing much of anything, in fact even now as I sit here to write I don’t want to be doing it….I would much rather be curled up in a warm cozy bed, eating junk food, and crying as I look around at the mess I call a house! I don’t feel like cleaning. I just can not seem to motivate myself to do anything right now, and I hate that feeling.

There are dishes piled on the counter that desperately need tending to, laundry piled in the hall the that urgently needs to be washed, there are toys to be picked up, beds to be made, floors to be washed, and carpets to be vacuumed….but you know what??? I just don’t care today!

I try to be tidy on a regular basis, I like to have a somewhat presentable home incase someone were to drop-by unexpectedly…not that anyone ever does…but today I just QUIT! I don’t feel like doing it…period. I don’t even feel like being a Mom today, but unfortunately with an 8 month-old quitting that position is not an option!

I know that I have to do it, and I will, but I don’t have to like it, and I can complain if I want to. I will end up going on a cleaning spree, probably as soon as I am done writing this post. I will turn up the music, put the baby in her high chair and haul ass for the half-hour it will take to complete the chores, but I don’t wanna damm it! and I am going to stomp my feet about it….. I may even pout my lip, which would be far more effective if there were someone here to see this all happening!

I guess it is all just too much, you think of all the roles a mother plays and it is overwhelming;

A mother is;

  • a parent
  • a doctor
  • a chef
  • a dishwasher
  • a janitor
  • a handyman
  • a teacher
  • a student
  • a laundry attendant
  • a driver
  • a housekeeper
  • a drill Sargent
  • a psychologist
  • an artist
  • a party planner
  • a pastry chef
  • an entertainer
  • a personal shopper
  • an accountant
  • a banker
  • a mediator

and many, many more things….

It’s a lot of damn work…and I just don’t wanna do it today…but do mothers get sick days? No! Do we get vacation time? Not in my world! And yet if taxes were hard work, I would be paying out the ass…

I figure if you were to post an ad hiring a Mom it would read something like this;

Position: Mother, mom, mama, mommy

Terms of employment: Permanent, Full-time, extensive, non-optional over-time, shift work, 24 hour on-call

Salary: $0 hourly for 168 hours per week

Expected start date: You should be working already!

Location: Wherever it may take you, travel required, travel expenses are not reimbursed

Education: None, it won’t matter anyway, you know nothing.

Languages: English, infant, toddler, teenager, and high-pitched squeal.

Work setting: Complete and utter Chaos

Weight handling: Must be able to lift excessive weight for extensive periods.

Types of equipment: Will vary by the moment. Basic experience in computers, electronics, waste control, and customer service are an asset.

Specific skills:

Must be willing to travel, to far away places, rural settings, and various sports environments. Must be willing to take abuse on a regular basis and smile light-heartedly. repeated tasks and even more repeated tongue biting required. My be in peak physical condition and hold the strength of 10 men. Must ba able to go from 0-100 in seconds. Must be friendly, outgoing, and organized. Must be able to problem solve and be willing to handle conflict resolution. A desire to perform basic repair work, and the ability to trouble shoot complicated technical issues are required. Must be able to screen phone calls, organize calendars, and work on a tight schedule. Must be creative and crafty, with a nack for complicated projects and an ability to work under extreme pressure. Must be able to handle quality control and safety testing on a million different products ranging from small plastic toys to large pieces of furniture. Must process a basic understand of First Aid and have a stomach of steel. Other duties include janitorial services, and maintenance.

possibility for advancement: None, in fact chances of demotion are far greater than advancement.

So for all of you who don’t have children… take this as a warning….though the ‘job perks’ include: hugs, kisses, endless love, a feeling of accomplishment and a hopefully desirable end result. It will still be overwhelming….

Now you see why I want to quit…but I signed a contract, and according to my lawyer sucking it up is a lot less trouble than all the red tape involved in leaving the position…… and so I forge on, feet stomping and lip dragging on the floor! 

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One thought on “The Position Of Mom

  1. Pingback: My 100th Post!!!!!! « Random Musings Of A Mad Mama!

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