Crazy Little Drunk People!

Vicodin tablet

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I’m sorry but someone has to say it, and I am usually known as the one who will. I am like the mom version of Eminem, I will easily say what everyone else is thinking…. So why should I change now?

No mother actually wants to spend 24/7 with her children. Especially a single-mother or full-time mother. No mother wants to constantly act like a 5 year-old, have tea parties, play Star Wars or climb trees all the time… Personally I think the any mothers that do must be closet-case alcoholics or undercover Vicodin addicts. No one is that happy constantly. No one!!

Sure I will agree that it can be fun to spend a couple of hours (that’s on a very good day) in make-believe world with your children. In fact, I can play pirates with the best of them for a few minutes at a time. I can have a Barbie bash, or pretend to be a princess, or sing silly songs for short, sporadic periods, but I cannot be around my children 24 hours a day.

I once read a post where someone said, “children are like drunk midget’s” (pardon the politically incorrect language…I didn’t say it in the first place!) and you know what?  They are right! You know though, I have never much cared for drunk people either! I have never actually seen a drunk midget though so I can’t speculate on how I would react to that, but although a drunk midget would probably be amusing, I am sure that it could get irritating afterwhile. When you are constantly tripping over them, having to get things down off high shelves, and picking them up on a regular basis so they can see out the window as well. You probably would, at some point, have the thought cross your mind that you could, and should, just kick them…hard…. you would think to yourself, ‘I could simply extend my leg and hurt this crazy, little, drunk person right now… with little, or no effort.’  That’s how it would be for me if I had to be around my children, entertaining them every minute of the day.

As I have said before I LOVE my children with all my heart and soul, but I love them because I take them in moderation. I have taught, and am teaching, them to entertain themselves more every single day. Don’t get me wrong, I could never live without them, no way, no how. I have never even been away from them for an extended period of time, but I require time without them in my face, time without the whining, the crying, or the incessant chatter that comes along with children. I require some form of peace in my life, no matter how twisted that form may be.

I think of “Kitty” from ‘That 70’s show‘, she is an adorable mother, a push-over, but adorable….do you know what makes her adorable? She is funny, witty, and cute. She is always spending time worrying about her children, cooking, cleaning, and dishing out advice. Do you know why she can do all these things and still have a smile on her face? Because the woman constantly has a glass of wine in her hand! I would be a far more active mother if I could drink all day as well….not to say that she is a “good” mother, but she participates right?

I really started thinking about all this while talking to a friend on the phone, she is having some slight relationship issues and was upset with herself, it seems due to stress she feels she has not been spending enough time with her daughter. She told me about how she feels awful because there are days when she will place her young child on the computer, in the hopes of getting a little bit of quiet time, and it turns into a whole day of her being an inactive parent. She was dismayed at her lack of interest in parenting at the moment, probably even more devastating due to the fact that she is generally a very involved mother, usually chipper and content to play with her child. I sat and listened to her, and I thought about how I have been as a parent lately myself… you know what I discovered? It’s no big deal! We cannot force ourselves to be that ‘perfect’ mother that bitch June Cleaver portrayed so very many years ago. (lol, sorry just a shot at age, my birthday is coming and I am trying to feel young.) Nor should we try, your children will see the stress in your actions and it will affect them as well. It is best just to accept that there are times in every parents lives when they just don’t want to be parents, that’s completely acceptable.  You would not take a job that required you to work 24/7, so why do we feel we have to do it at home?

If every one of us mother’s had unlimited bank accounts, cleaning services, endless prescriptions to pleasure inducing pain killers, and bottomless bottles of wine…. I am sure that we could all live in make-believe land quite happily. But unfortunately here in reality world it is just socially unacceptable practice to drug yourself in order to achieve that perfect parenting quality…so until society loosens up it is best just to acknowledge that we are not programmed to be perpetually pleasant parents, and simply relax knowing kids are forgiving and as long as you are providing love, and basic necessities at these less than participating moments, they will survive. So kick-back relax and have a drink, after all you work hard, you deserve it! (Besides Barbie Princess is far more interesting after a few glasses of cheap wine!)


2 thoughts on “Crazy Little Drunk People!

  1. Pingback: My 100th Post!!!!!! « Random Musings Of A Mad Mama!

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