I am sorry but I have to bitch a little bit here, I am a mother of two beautiful children, and I LOVE my children to death. I have a 7 year-old son, who has an amazing imagination, and an 8 month-old daughter who brightens everyday. I LOVE my children, but there are just something I will not do!
This thought comes to me because I was skimming a parenting book called “Baby Tactics” it is a book full of real advice from real parents that “really” work…and good for them, but honestly as I said there are just some things I will not do, and some of those things are listed in this book.
Among the things I will not do, not all of which are from the book, there is;
- I will not allow my children to run my life. I enjoy seeing happy children but I am not going to stop my entire life just to make things easier for them.
- I will not wait to do something until my child feels ready. One parent wrote “I wait to dress my baby until my he’s really engrossed in something. Then I bring his clothes, diaper, and wipes to whichever room he’s in and dress him right there.” Personally I will change my baby when it is time to change her irregardless of what she has to say, or scream, about it!
- Another parent told about her take on meal time and said “We put a gate int he kitchen doorway and then let her roam around the room as she eats. Forcing her to sit only results in hysterics and an uneaten meal.” I’m sorry, and maybe I am just a mean mom, but too bad for the kid, they will only refuse to eat for so long before they have no choice, and I am not going to spend an hour scrubbing the floors after each meal time. Maybe you have that kind of time, or patience, but I do not!
- Another thing I will not do is wake up and drive a hundred miles at 5 a.m. just because my son has decided he wants to play hockey. It’s great if your child shows interest and ability in a sport, but I don’t care how talented my child is, there is not enough talent in the world to make me rise at such an imprudent hour and set aside everything in my life for one stupid game that will possibly result in some injury anyway. Again maybe I am mean, call me self-absorbed….whatever I could care less.
- I will not stand for any form of temper-tantrum. My son learned this long ago and has never ever forgotten this important lesson of life in my world. If you choose to make a scene in Walmart I will not leave, I will not cause a scene myself, I will simply look at you with my mad-mama face, and you will stop.
- I will not argue bedtime. When it is time for sleep it’s just time, do not try to argue, manipulate, or bargain your way out of it, just shut-up and go to bed. I read notes from parents telling tales of how they would just let their children get really exhausted and they would just put a pillow and blanket on the floor for them to sleep on, then they could simply move them to bed once they were in a deep sleep, stories from parents who allowed their children to stay up as late as they wanted for a few days before they started shaving off time, little-by-little, and explanations from parents who would place their children in bad and return every ten minutes until the child would eventually fall asleep waiting for their return.I am sorry but the ‘alone’ time I get once my children are in bed is far too precious to me for me to waste it with such non-sense.
- I will not drop everything I am doing just because my child cries out. I am amazed at the number of parents that will jump up from what they are doing at the first whimper they hear, if I am cooking, cleaning, or busy in any other way…the child can wait a minute or two…it certinly won’t kill them, and I clearly know the difference between a whining cry for attention and that of a child in distress.
- I also will not stop every two feet because you want to stop and smell the flowers, play with, pick, or touch the flowers. I set out times when I can be sluggish, but when we are on a mission to do something I simply refuse to stop every other minute…those flowers will still be there when we have time, and if they’re not then they will be next spring…get over it.
You may think I am a bit harsh, and you know what, at times I am, but I cannot just put my life aside 24/7 for my children. I would be a miserable, untidy, unproductive mess. Perhaps I should have had a live-in nanny, but unless you are willing to foot that bill it’s not gonna happen. I do have fun with my children, I do this on a regular basis, but my life does not and will not revolve around making them happy…later in life they will have to figure out how to do this on their own anyway.
Maybe you think I am a bit of a BITCH, you are right, maybe you want to call child protective services, go ahead, my children are happy, healthy and taken care of, I don’t care. What it comes down to for me is this…I need my time, and routine, and interests so that I can be at my best for them, and revolving my world around their every whim will not do that for me…. parent as you please this is not advice….it is a statement based upon my crazy life!
Possibly, but Probably Un-Related Articles
- Learn Techniques to Help Boost Your Child’s Confidence – New Book From BoostKids (prweb.com)
- My disgust over what happened this week with Amazon (lockergnome.com)
- If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we’re addicted. (slate.com)
- 1 in 3 parents ‘always’ allow their child to sleep in their bed (your-story.org)
- In the Mommy Wars, I’m Going Swiss (thegloss.com)
- The 2 Key Parenting Skills You Didn’t Know About (psychologytoday.com)
- How to be a Good Parent (socyberty.com)
- Discipline for Toddlers (suite101.com)
- Toddler Discipline: Effective and Appropriate Tactics (webmd.com)
- Attachment parenting: Is it imprisoning? (sfgate.com)
- The Madness of Modern Motherhood (online.wsj.com)
- 20 Awful Firsts With Your New Baby (neatorama.com)