The Sad and Sorry Life of the Internet Bandit


Seriously, some people need lives… Not that I am one to talk! I mean at this point in life my daily routine consists of spoiled children, dirty clothes and less than stellar cooking. My main source of excitement is my life online (my blogging) and my weekly trips to the grocery store. I am probably not an expert on the subject of how to live a full and meaningful life, but one thing I DO know is that I am not as pathetic as this guy… (Sorry about the blurry picture I will explain!)

The Internet Bandit

This photo (blurry as it is) was taken through my living-room window at approximately 7:30 a.m. (I was trying to be inconspicuous, hence the blurry image created because using a flash would have been a little too obvious!) But this picture could have been taken at any time throughout the day and it would have held the same image. The man in the photo above is the local ‘Internet Bandit‘ Day in and day out he can be found in front of, or near the corner of, my house stealing someone’s unsecured internet connection!

Now I am not shunning him because he is using someone else’s connection (we’ve all done it!) but that he is doing it so openly and without any shame in a public area. Not only is he doing this so openly, he is doing it all day long! The funniest part of this whole situation is that you KNOW this guy is probably sitting on Facebook (or some dating site) just lying through his teeth!

I can picture his Facebook status as I watch him through my window….

Internet Bandit says “Chillin’ at home on the couch watching the game and having a few beers.”

or

Internet Bandit says “Had a long day at work today.”

I kind of wish I could find him on Facebook just to comment on his status and scare the crap outta the liar…
“Oh yeah! Maybe we will swing by and have a beer with you!!”
“Funny, you were at work today? I could have SWORE I saw a guy that look JUST like you standing on the corner looking like a LOSER!” 

Honestly, my major issue with what he is doing is the fact that he is just sitting on a residential street doing it. He is not going to Tim Hortons or McDonalds where they offer FREE WIFI, he is not even sitting in his own house jumping on his elderly neighbors unsecured wireless network. No, this guy does not even LIVE here, he ‘commutes‘ to this corner from down the block to sit outside and steal internet!!

Can you honestly not afford the $19.99??
I bet you could if you went and found a job instead of sitting outside someone’s house stealing their internet all day while you lie to your friends on Facebook!!
In fact, if you had a job to afford the internet you probably wouldn’t have the time to be on it ALL DAY LONG! 

Just Saying!

 

Back to Sanity… I mean School!


Well there is less than a week until school starts and as usual I am not prepared at all… In fact, I am nowhere near ready. This years disorganization takes the cake in comparison to any other year before it. I am not known for my strong organization skills, and I am in fact known well as ‘procrastination queen’ (as well as drama queen, queen bitch, and spoiled princess)

This year I have somehow managed to completely and utterly out do myself and have managed to completely avoid any of the regular ‘back to school’ activities in the hopes that this ‘to-do list’ would somehow complete itself… Yet, it has not!

Now don’t get me wrong, I am über exited for school to begin again, I am a firm believer that summer vacation is far too long for kids. Even with only one of the two kids I own being in school, the return of classes brings much peace in to my home. No seriously, the contrast is astounding… and yet instead of being prepared and ready to ship my son off to grade three with a smiling face and a waiting bubble bath (for me) I have procrastinated yet again and left all of the major things until the last-minute. Now with less than a week until the start of classes panic is setting in and I have NOTHING!

My ‘Back-to-school To-Do List‘ is lengthy, and I can’t figure out where I am supposed to begin. I am positing it here in the hopes that one of my readers has a ‘back-to-school’ fairy I may be able to borrow for a day or two to tick some of these pesky tasks off this dreadful list….

Back-to-school To-Do

  1. Register C for new school
  2. Figure out where new school is so I can register C
  3. Figure out where new home is, so I can find out where new school is, so I can register C…
  4. Find new home…. (Yup this is procrastination at its finest)
  5. Purchase back-to-school items such as; Back pack, paper, pencils, binders, etc… (Honestly, Walmart should deliver!)
  6. Search out and purchase two, Yes! TWO, pairs of shoes for C (Shoe shopping with a boy is a pain in the ass in the first place, let alone show shopping for TWO pairs of shoes!!)
  7. Grocery shop for school lunch items that will not have Child Services at your door the first day back… (Note: Schools frown upon chocolate spread, cookies, candy and pop… Apparently lunch is supposed to be ‘healthy’ and promote good eating habits! This all stems back to some Sally Sue and her stupid organic garden I am sure!!!)
  8. Win the lottery… so I can find said house, purchase said items, go grocery shopping for these stupid ‘healthy organic items’ and find the new school so I can register C…
You know… On second thought, screw the fairy… I think I might need a whole team of them to tackle this list!!!

The To-Do Fairies... Helping battle lists since before lists existed!!

Why is it I don’t get a magical godmother? Honestly if anyone is deserving of a crazy lady with a wand its me, not these spoiled brats in cartoons that live in castles and whine about having to mop floors….

This is likely the Fairy God Mother I would end up with... it's just my luck!!

I know all this is my fault, I am a procrastinator and I am aware that it is an issue… But seriously people who have addiction problems get a break, people who have stealing problems get a break, My God even Tiger Woods (the sex addict) gets a break… Can’t I get a ‘Lazy Person’ Break????
Anyway… If you happen to have a team/army/or group of Fairies locked away in your closet/basement/dungeon, and you are not using them at the moment, PLEASE send them my way… I will PAY you for them… Tomorrow… Or maybe Next week….
Cheers!

My God, I’m a Country Girl! – City Living and the Cost of Chaos.


Broadway show billboards at the corner of 7th ...

Image via Wikipedia

The city can be a wonderful place full of life and excitement. It can also be an overwhelming place full of chaos and stress, for me it has been exactly that. I have enjoyed the time I have spent in the city, but living here has made me realize that no matter how much I try to deny it, I am a country girl at heart. This is a strange realization to me, as I was born in the hustle and bustle of the city. I grew up here and I loved my childhood. Our family made the most of city living, with constant outings and daily adventures. Despite my city blood lines I just enjoy the peace and quiet of the country to the chaos of the city any day….

Now when I say ‘country’ I don’t mean cows, chickens and bales of hay. I simply mean a ‘smaller’ city or town with less going on and quiet moments to enjoy. The city I moved here from held that for me. It is big enough that you have all the amenities you require, but small enough that you can enjoy moments of peace when you desire them.

I am just not cut out for the Craziness that is city living and here is why:

  1. You are ‘No One’ Here – When you are living among 2.5 million other people you have to deal with the fact that you are ‘no one’. Okay, maybe your someone to somebody, but he reality is that city living gives you this sort of feeling that you don’t exist. I feel like an ant among the grass, somehow lost in the chaos of the city. It is rare that you run into the same person twice, and finding a friendly face (which is a comfort I enjoy) is few and far between here.
  2. There is never silence – Especially where we have been living, there is never a moment where you can just ‘be’. Surrounded by constant noise of cars, planes and people, city life lacks that ‘silence’ that I took for granted for so long. Even if it is momentary, that silence is time to myself to just be with myself and enjoy the world around me. The never-ending noise of the city is enough to make a person crazy, and it clutters my head.
  3. Getting places is a journey in itself – Even to go to the grocery store has become a chore for me while living in the city. There is never a good time to shop. In a smaller city you sort of learn the busy and quiet times of your local stores and you work around the chaos. That is impossible here. It seems no matter what time I was going to the store there were herds of people, long lines and just general chaos… it is overwhelming, especially with children in tow. Not only is shopping a task in itself, travelling to the shops becomes an adventure as well. Buses, trains and streetcars are constantly packed with travelers that are in a mad rush to get from one place to another. You are crammed together to the point of bursting, it feels like you are sardines packed in a can. I never had a problem with crowds before, but I certainly do now. I don’t like people invading my space unless I invite them to do so.
  4. People are just not nice – Not to stereotype, but people in the city are ‘rude’! It is very rare that anyone says excuse me before plowing through you in line, no one stops just to chat, they hardly ever say hello, and Thank-you is some long-lost word that no one ever uses. Walking down the sidewalk becomes a hazard and holds its own risks of injury from hurried travelers who refuse to step aside. I have watched healthy people look away as an elderly person steps on to the bus. I have witnessed more ignorance in the last few months than I have seen in a lifetime, and it is sad. Has life become so chaotic for people that they have forgotten the basics of common courtesy? When a pregnant woman, elderly, or disabled person gets on a bus, you get up and offer them your seat, Period! It is not hard to do, takes only a second and certainly won’t kill you, nor will holding the door for the person behind you struggling with two children and 20 bags… Pull up people, seriously! Anyway… sorry about that rant that is a whole post in itself…
  5. It costs a lot – Living in the city is expensive. Besides the outrageous amounts you will pay in rent there is the cost of travel, the cost of food, the cost of everything. Even a simple family outing turns in to an extravagant affair… Though there are more resources in the city, I have learned that they are harder to tap into, with tight stipulations and odd hours of operation people complain that it is more difficult to find the help you need here than it is in smaller towns. Long waiting lists and large need make attaining what you need a very difficult process.
Maybe it is me personally, I guess I was just made for a simpler life. The city has its plus side, of course or 2.5 million people would not live here, but for me the pro’s just don’t out-weigh the con’s.
I think for me the city is more a place that I enjoy to visit, but don’t want to live. I like to explore and enjoy the chaos when “I” want to, but I like the escape and luxury of going back to a quiet home.
Do you live in a big city? What do you like/dislike about it? If you live in a small town, why do you enjoy it?
I would love to hear how others feel about city/country living, feel free to share your thoughts in the comment area.
Cheers!

Pooped!


Well, I had one of those moments. You know, those so disgusting that they are funny moments that you will never forget as they have now scarred you for life…

My beautiful daughter L is now 16 months old. She is funny and saucy and full of curiosity. She likes puppies, playing outside, and most of all her bath. Last night while enjoy a soak in the tub my beautiful little princess decided she needed to poop. I was busy tidying up and gathering PJ’s and my son was sitting next to the tub with her. From across the room I was alerted to the occurring disaster by my sons uncontrollable giggles and squeals.. Apparently my beautiful daughter had a poop in the tub and then proceeded to pick it up and immediately catapult it from the tub, all within split-seconds!!!

During this event my son, rather than making any attempt to stop or prevent the fiasco from occurring, decided to take pictures of the act in progress! Unfortunately the pictures were too blurry to be used in this post, and would just not have done justice to the situation, and the suffering I endured having to scoop baby poop off the floor! So… instead I have found another NOT as suitable image to substitute here..

Cheers!

Technologically Speaking


MSI laptop computer

Image via Wikipedia

I need to be honest, I never ‘actually’ realized how much my life revolves around my computer until recently. Yes, I am aware that I spend a large amount of time online doing “one thing or another” but I what I was not aware of was how much I rely on the internet for entertainment. My computer was out of commission last week and I have to say I was a bit more ‘lost’ than I expected to be. A large amount of my day is spent online, reading, writing, or simply socializing with other. As well as learning many new and interesting things. I expected some withdrawal, of course, but I can honestly say that ‘some‘ withdrawal quickly became an understatement… at least at first anyway. Life (a week and a half)without my computer was hard, but it taught me a few things; things about myself, my life, and the world we live in….

What I didn’t learn online:

  • I am a basket-case without an internet connection – The first few days without a computer were a complete and utter shock to my system. I sat at the desk where my computer had been and simply stared at the empty space that had once held my beloved laptop. I was lost, I admit it, sad as it sounds I truly did not know what to do with myself while not online. Much time was spent simply staring into thin air with the slight hope that somehow, someway, this was all a bad dream. There may even have been a few tears shed…
  • It is very difficult for me to function without Google – I never realized how much I rely on Google to handle my day-to-day issues. There were questions my children asked that I couldn’t answer, phone numbers and addresses that I was unable to find. Dinners that bordered on ‘prison food’ standards from lack of recipes, medical issues and strange symptoms that could not be diagnosed, and a number of other tasks that never got done all because I am a Google whore! Yes, I said it… Loud and proud… I Google EVERYTHING!!
  • I can almost guarantee that I suffer from adult ADHD – I love reading. In fact, most of my time online is spent reading one site or another on various topics of interest, but how often I actually finish reading a site is a question I fear I should not answer… The beauty of the internet is that information is created for fast consumption. I can easily get the point without having to go very in-depth, reading a book on the other hand requires attention that I seem to have lost at some point in the recent past!
  • My kids are quite annoying – When I have nothing to distract me, my children are actually quite annoying to deal with… This ‘in your face, look at me non-sense’ that seems to have started the minute my laptop left the house, was all a bit much for me to be honest with you… and though our ‘family time’ was fun, it was truly exhausting.
  • My house is a mess – Once my eyes adjusted and were able to take in what was around them, (instead of being set to see through the glare of the screen) I realized that my house is a ‘pigsty’ I will say that in the days that the computer I got far more housework accomplished… I wonder if there is a connection!
  • It is really nice outside – Once you get up and get out in the sun, it is actually quite pleasant… Some would even say “Summer-like” but that would be impossible… I mean time couldn’t really pass me by like that now could it???
  • My family is actually amusing – Once I recovered from the initial shock I suppose I actually started to enjoy the disconnection from the world. I spent time with my family, enjoyed the outdoors, read a book (well parts of a book anyway) and even picked up a pen to write.. I can not even remember the last time I wrote with a pen! I learned that my family is actually somewhat amusing at times, and even a bit fun!
  • Boredom makes me miserable – Despite the fact that I got over the computer being gone, despite the fact that I even embraced it being gone by the end, I still learned that when I get bored I become a ‘bitch’. I require constant amusement and no one can provide that like my trusty little laptop…. People have their own emotional needs that just don’t work in my favor!
I must say, though I didn’t like not having a computer, I did appreciate the extra time I had when not online. I used the phone instead of Facebook and actually heard friends voices for the first time in a while. I got a lot done…. And you know, once my computer was back I didn’t even miss it all that much! Now that it is here and I am sitting on it I decided that I would make myself a pact… Though I love my computer and there is soooo.. much on the net that I want to see and read, I also want to enjoy my life, my family and myself… Thus I will not sacrifice time in real-life, for time online!
Take time each day to enjoy the world you live in, learn to appreciate the simple things in life. All that is online will be there later, those that are in your life may not….
- K8 
Cheers!

Life For Sale!


Oh to the woes of the drama that is my life… Time for an update on the state of the ‘home’ front…

As you all know we have moved around a lot in the last few months. It seems every house we find presents a new set of stresses we have to face, the new house is no different, though this stress was completely unexpected…

Our new house was fantastic, still is actually, aside from a few little things. The layout of the home is perfect, the price is right, and the area is one that enhances our family lifestyle. Things here are good…

The house we rented holds 3 apartments, One in the basement where Big C‘s friend resides, and one up above, we rent the entire main floor. The apartment up above was home to a quiet man who was rarely home, thus giving me no fear of the issues we faced at our last apartment with the elephants upstairs. Unfortunately, the man upstairs also faced his own set of demons, and recently passed away. Apparently having been sick for a long time, and facing the chaos of a ‘hoarder’ lifestyle he chose to commit suicide… No not in the apartment above Thank-God! Needless to say, he will no longer live upstairs….

His death is a sad fact and I feel bad for his family, who appeared to tackle his ‘hoarder’ home. Now he did not hoard garbage, but rather just ‘stuff’ lots and lots of stuff… Just like the Television show, there were small pathways to walk and the rest was all stuff….

Now I know that this must have been overwhelming for his family, they must have been in complete shock, but how they have gone about it is probably the strangest thing I have ever seen, and is the topic for this post…

Most people would face this obstacle with the intent to complete a task. Especially a family who has arrived from other parts of the country and lives nowhere near this man’s home. This family has not done anything like that… Here is what they did do…

Seeing the large amount of stuff in this home one would think you would simply want to get it all out, and out of the way, but NO these people have spent the last two months sorting each and every paper, item, and box and gathered up a large pile of trash, that now sits in the driveway of my home!

Please understand I don’t want to sound cold-hearted, or insensitive but read further and I am sure you will understand…

Not only have these people spent months going through these items, they do so at all hours of the night… which is not even the biggest issue, though it is an annoyance in itself… The biggest issue is that they have also been having Garage Sales Daily for that period of time… and not just Garage Sales, in the tense that a Garage Sale is usually done (Eg: weekends, daylight hours, Cheap deals on cool stuff, etc…) They have had REGULAR Garage Sales from morning through night…. Often times still out in the driveway at midnight haggling people for cash….

Now I understand that they have faced a death, and the death of a hoarder at that.. They have a large amount of items to dispose of, and usually a Garage Sale is the easiest way. Though in this case I would have recommended that they locate an auctioneer and go about removing it all that way, as much of it is usable stuff… But they have opted to have Garage Sales Daily instead….

Now, Let me tell you why this is a problem….

a) It is occurring daily from morning till night. Not just on the weekends or during daytime hours as normal people would do…

b) The pile of garbage that this constant “sale” has created is now taking over my side yard… I am sure it is a haven for rats, rodents and stray cats… You may remember my ‘run-in’ with stray cats

c) They are not cutting deals as a normal Garage Sale would do… In fact, they are trying to charge ‘Top Dollar” for a bunch of old, though useful, stuff…
Here is a conversation I overheard:
“I’ll give you $20 for that drill.”
“Well that drill costs $59.99 at Canadian Tire, so I want $50 bucks”
“If the drill is $59.99 at Canadian Tire Why would I give you $50 bucks? I can just go there and spend 10 bucks more to get a warranty and a box!”
“$50 bucks or no sale…”
****Customer walks away**** 

d) There is a city By-Law that clearly states a household is only allowed ’2 Garage Sales per year’ This means that the hope of me having a Garage Sale later this summer to clear out my clutter has now been washed down the drain… Today the city By-Law officer showed up to take pictures and serve notice of this By-Law… Actually it made my day. I have recently decided that if it happened one more day I was going to call the city… But someone clearly beat me to it… He took pictures of the Garbage pile too!

e) Endless Garage Sales = Endless people… This also mean that my kids have not been able to go outside…. though these people have tried to tell me different I am not comfortable with my children running around with 50+ strangers standing in my driveway! It is just unsafe!

f) Garage Sales usually occur in the ‘garage’, since we have no garage they are occurring in our driveway. This fact means that no one can get in or our and my kids can’t ride their bikes….

You can see where the problem lies…

Now these people are still at it… even today in the pouring rain they outside sorting through stuff. I am sure that the moment the clouds part they will be setting up and I think that will be the moment that I break… I can respect that they have suffered a loss, and I even feel pity for the difficult task they have had to face… (Keep in mind that this man also had a storage unit full of things and so they have been renting a U-Haul truck, that has also been parked in my driveway for two months, to help house all this junk.) But there comes a point where enough is enough and my sadness for their loss no longer outweighs the suffering they are causing my family and my home… Hence the breaking point should they happen to attempt to set up today!

We tried to address this issue with our landlord, unfortunately he doesn’t live here, so he just does not care. The city seems to understand though at least that is good!

What would you do in this situation? How would you react? Keep in mind that these people have still not shown any sign of leaving although each day they say “This sale is their last” 

??????

The Ongoing Outrageousness that is Our Life…


My God, time has been flying by the last few days. With the sun shining bright and the weather getting warmer my life has been an endless outdoor adventure and I have found little time to do much else. Let me update you on the happenings of our household….

With the weather being nice as it has been the last few days have been spent exploring the city we relocated to in January. We have not had a chance to get out and see where we live due to hectic schedules, lack of funds and poor weather, so this last week has been rather enjoyable for me. We have taken to hoping on the subway with no set destination, we choose a subway station to exit at and we set out to explore. This blind travel has taught me many things about the city I now live in. Toronto, Ontario is a ‘huge’ city with a population of over 2.5 million people there is no such thing as silence. It is also a beautiful city to both visit and live in. The thing about Toronto that amazes me the most is the beauty it holds all around it. You can be walking along a busy city street and you simply need to turn a corner to get a “small town” feel. You can wander down quiet residential streets, with tiny shops and friendly people and within moments you can step back into the chaos that is “big city” living… It truly is a diverse place to live. There is a ton of greenery in this city and amazing outdoor adventures and areas to explore. With ample amounts of trails and forests, a thriving beach front, and even a great island (easily accessible by ferry) Toronto is the city of never-ending exploration.. Every time we step out the door we are off on a new adventure. Even when we are tight on fund there is some much for us to see and do here… I am starting to feel like I am home.

Because of these fantastic adventures I have not been able to accomplish much else, blog posts included… Though a lot of interesting things have happened:

We made our first attempt at moving L into a big girl bed… This attempt failed miserably. I have one of those great “convertible” cribs that save you a ton of cash in the long run. This ‘super’ crib converts from a crib to a toddler bed and then to a double bed later down the road. It is a quality piece that usually costs a pretty penny (around $350 Canadian) but the frugal shopper that I am, I managed to score this amazing solid wood crib for $50 bucks!!! In turning it into a toddler bed the process is rather simple, you simply need to remove 4 screws and lift off the lower side. Easy as pie… Now getting your child to adapt to this simple change is often the challenge.. L was ecstatic at first. She was content for hours climbing in and out of her ‘big girl’ bed and even had her nap in it peacefully without an issue. She was even more content when she woke up and realized she could just climb out and come find Mommy and Daddy… which she did, with a big smile on her face! But sometime around 6 O’clock in the evening L decided she wanted nothing to do with this amazing new bed, and fought tooth and nail at bed time… 4 hours and a whole lot of screaming, crying attempts later the rail was (not as easily) placed back on the bed, converting it back into the crib that comforted her to sleep in seconds. Attempt one… unsuccessful! We will try again later in the month.

Besides L and her ongoing antics, Lil’ C has been doing well. I must say I have been a very proud Mama lately with numerous compliments on how well-behaved he is, and his latest school tests which have resulted in all A’s. Yep, I must say I am ecstatic! The funny thing is I was starting to get a big worried about Lil’ C. At 7 (almost 8 years-old) my son was starting to seem a little slow (‘Not the brightest crayon in the box, or a few fries short of a Happy meal, kind of slow) Constantly forgetful Lil’ C lives in Lala land where everything is perfect and the roads are made of chocolate… Every sentence he spoke seemed to get stupider and stupider… until lately, I don’t know he just seems to have matured overnight. Don’t get me wrong, we still have moments when we look at him like a little mad man and wonder “what the hell” he was thinking when he opened his mouth to speak, but those moments are getting to be a lot less common in the recent weeks. We have not had to remind him to brush his teeth once in the last 2 months and all his school work is showing that he is learning well.

I think I am most proud of his marks. Before our recent move to the city, the school had shown worry that he was not learning at an age appropriate pace. This was especially true when it came to his reading, it worried me a lot. Lil C loves to read, and like his Mama he is constantly writing stories, journals, or poems… He has even recently stated that he wants to start his own Blog (Note the huge smile on my face) But up until the move his writing and reading was well below what you would expect from a Grade 2 student… and no amount of help from me seemed to be doing any good. Yet since relocating to the city things seemed to have changed… Lil C’s first math test home from his new school was scary… He managed to get a rather unimpressive 9 out of 43!! I was devastated… In fact I even cried… Until I looked at the test and realized a few things: First the questions on this test were “Hard“… It shocked me to see the complete difference in level between the new city and our old town.. C had never even seen math like this before, let alone attempted to complete it on his own.. and Secondly the answers themselves were only wrong because his numbers were switched around… Now at first this realization was scary… Dyslexia is a very difficult thing for anyone to deal with, but after talking to his teacher and monitoring his writing this was ruled out…

Quickly going over the order of numbers with him and a little practice this issue has been almost totally solved. Back to the first realization I set out to show Lil C how this “big boy” math was done (Thank God for Google… Math has never been my strong suit. They say a person is either good at English or Math, rarely both… English is more my cup of tea.) Once I had shown Lil C the process and basics of this math his little world changed.. You could almost see the light bulb turn on in his head! I won’t lie, It was not fun and games.. I can honestly say that it is a good thing I never became a teacher, because there was swearing, a bit of yelling, and at one point a pencil was broken out of frustration… but he finally got it all figured out…

Since then every Math test that has come home has been adorned with a great big A and a fancy “Good Job” sticker, as have all the other tests that have come home for me to see… Science, Math, Social Studies and Language test are proudly displayed on our fridge.. The $1 incentive for each A he brings home has been a big help (and is also starting to cost me big bucks) 

So Yes I am a Proud Mama at the moment with an amazing Genius little boy. His reading skills have raised by over 16 levels (books are marked by letters or numbers and Lil C has gone up from a 9 to a 30 in the last 2 months… It truly is amazing) and his writing skills are noticeably better now than they have ever been. My brilliant boy is well on his way to becoming an award-winning writer at this rate. The difference is unexplainable, as is my happiness in light of it, I truly am starting to feel like this was a good move.

Lil’ C is also very happy. Most of his days are spent outside playing with all his friends. He has more freedom here in the big city than he ever did in our old town… and he loves our little adventures and all there is to explore.

And so… you now know why I have been slacking. I have had good excuse… But since today is a colder day I figured I would catch you up on our exciting adventures and all the changes we have had… Rest assured that my blog is not the only thing that has suffered… I must end this post now as I have an entire house that desperately needs to be cleaned!!!

Cheers!

An Irresistibly Sweet Start to a Sunny Sunday…


My Sunday started off on a very positive note. I received an email from a fellow blogger informing me that she had something for me on her site. Curious I wandered over to GhostWriter a great WordPress site at https://1wordywoman.wordpress.com and saw that I had been given an award for my blog!!!

I was overjoyed! What an amazing honor, and a great way to close the weekend. Thanks Marantha I really appreciate this more than you know. This award is called “The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award” and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I have been lacking inspiration lately and was even considering shutting down my Random Musings site to move on to new adventures…. This award made me change my mind. Every writer enjoy’s knowing that people actually read their blogs or writings. I am no different. I needed this reminder, especially today, as motivation to keep writing. I love seeing that people are enjoying my posts and that what I write is affecting them in some way. So once again I must say Thanks you from the bottom of my heart.

As with all awards there are rules involved with my acceptance. First I must link back to the person that sent it to me, and so if you have not had a chance to check out GhostWriter here on WordPress you must do so right now. Marantha is an amazing writer who is inspiring and open hearted. She has a way with words and is just a kind-hearted soul. Go check out her blog and get inspired by her writing.

The next thing I am supposed to do in acceptance of this award is list seven things about myself… So here it goes:

  • I don’t feel like the ‘grown-up’ that I am supposed to be. I think perhaps I am a teenager stuck inside a grown-up’s body!
  • I never wanted children and now I have two… and though I wouldn’t change that for the world, I often worry that I am a terrible mother.
  • I love writing. It is my way of dealing with my emotions and releasing the stress of the day.
  • When I was younger I wanted to be a singer… I can’t carry a tune now to save my life as I have smoked for several years.
  • I currently post to 3 different blogs. One of which is more ‘private’ in nature and was created to help me find Who I am inside..
  • I am an overly creative person and I often allow my imagination to get the best of me.
  • I currently have no idea what I want to do with my life….

And lastly I am supposed to pass this award on to 15 writers that I believe are deserving of such notice… Below is my list:

http://thypolarlife.wordpress.com/
Always entertaining, often funny, and a very kind-hearted person. Check out her blog it is a great read.

http://experification.wordpress.com/
An amazing writer with an open mind and a way with words. Another great site to check out.

http://letmestartbysaying.wordpress.com
Fun, Funny, and great to follow. A little something for everyone here.

http://loveaddictnyc.com/
Follow a love addicted journey through NYC.

http://aayoung.wordpress.com/
Poetry from the heart.

http://motherhensnest.wordpress.com/
Always a good time, and ample amounts of wisdom.

http://bigsheepcommunications.wordpress.com/
Interesting and entertaining.

http://todayithink.wordpress.com/
Honesty and openness a refreshing read that is ever evolving.

http://whyamihereinahandbasket.com/
Wildly entertaining.

http://motherhoodwtf.com/
Guaranteed to make you giggle.

http://toohotmamas.wordpress.com/
Yet another great site you must check out.

http://sloopie72.wordpress.com/
Worth checking out.

http://inosculation.wordpress.com/
Great writing about simple things.

http://thehindsightletters.com/
Interesting and inspirational.

http://torinelson.wordpress.com/
Hours of entertainment.

And there you have it, all of those listed above are amazing and talented writers that help to inspire and entertain me each day. If you have not had a chance to view these sites I highly suggest that you do so. Take some time to kick back, relax and enjoy a good read… you are guaranteed to get one with these blogs.

To everyone else that I failed to list, I appreciate your writing as well. There are far too many talented writers both on WordPress and other sites, to list that constantly create amazing posts and regularly make me smile.

Once again a great big Thanks to Marantha over at GhostWriter for bestowing this award upon me today. You truly are an amazing woman and I appreciate your kind words and your amazing writing.

Cheers!

Close Your Eyes and Scream…


I have a wild imagination, I always have. Even as a child I was always dreaming up crazy ideas, strange new worlds, and amazing adventures. This wild imagination was the source of many great stories, it was also the cause of many great dreams, fantasies, and even nightmares

I have always been a vivid dreamer, I can usually wake up and remember what my dreams were about in very specific detail. In the past my dreams have been so realistic at times that I can smell and feel in them with such clarity that it is sometimes hard to distinguish what is real from what is a dream. It is because of this wild imagination, and these colorful, lifelike dreams that I have had to endure a lifetime of equally realistic nightmares.

I remember these nightmares from when I was a child. The fear and anxiety they would often bring. These dreams back then were often about animals or fantasy creatures. I remember one recurring dream about a bear killing my grandmothers dog right in front of my eyes. I recall seeing the dogs paw chopped up and placed on a platter outside the window from where I was hiding. In this dream the bear was attacking me and the dog came to my rescue, only to be defeated while saving my life. This dream plagued me for years, though it is silly to think about now, at the time it was frightening.

Of course as I have grown I have experienced less of these nightmares, though once in a while I will suffer from one. After the birth of my son I had constant dreams of him being kidnapped. Dreams that someone came to steal him in the night. Horrible dreams where I would be searching frantically for him in the dark, knowing that he was gone. These dreams are always disturbing, but thankfully it is easy to reassure yourself that this was just a dream with the simple act of opening your child’s bedroom door.

Other dreams have not been so easy to forget….

Just last night I have a vivid and horrifying dream that two men in masks were outside my window. When I saw that these men had guns I ducked, but my hubby was shot. Crawling across the floor I made it to my sons room and pulled him from his bed. I ran across the hall to my daughter and found she was still asleep.. Not wanting her to wake and start screaming my son and I huddled under her bed. One of the men came into her room, all I could see was his feet. He came towards her crib and leaned down towards her… In my dream I had a knife that I had grabbed on my way past the kitchen. I took this knife and reached out from under the bed cutting this man’s Achilles tendon (the back of his foot) blood sprayed everywhere.  I climbed out from under the crib, the masked man was screaming in pain and my daughter had awakened and was screaming as well. I grabbed the man’s gun and headed down the hall, the man in my daughter room was unable to stand or run because I had cut the back of his feet, so I set out to find the second masked man… who saw me coming with gun in hand and fled through the front door. I ran over to my hubby who was bleeding badly on the floor and I called 911. In my dream I knew he was going to die and I felt rage building deep inside of me.. I could smell the tin scent of his blood and felt the wetness on my hands. I returned to my daughter’s room… BTW I had taken my children and hidden them in the closet if you are wondering… the man I had cut was lying on the floor withering in pain. Anger took over me and as he reached up his hand I shot him… Satisfied that he was dead, and hearing the police sirens in the distance I reached down to remove his mask…

That is when I woke up! I never got to see his face, that frustrates me…

Now, although I am a grown-up and I know this was only a dream, it was frightening. It was frightening because it used all my senses… my dreams always seem to do that. I could feel fear, smell blood, feel the sticky wetness of it on my finger tips. I could feel my hubby’s short breaths on my face as I bent down to listen to his heart. I could feel my children’s fear and panic as they realized what was happening in their home where they were supposed to be safe. I could truly ‘feel’ the overwhelming rage when I realized that my hubby was going to die, and I could feel the strength of the gun and the spray of blood as I shot the man lying on the floor. Every sensation was real, I could feel it as if it was happening in reality. It is a scary and uncontrollable feeling.

Now that I am grown it is rare that I wake from one of these dreams and still feel fear. I have a wild imagination, but I have logic as well. I can easily console myself and I am aware of the reality around me. As a child though, nightmares can scare you to no end and it can take a long while before you are able to realize that what you saw, felt, and sensed in your dream was not actually part of reality. It can be confusing, I remember that fear, but now I am grown and I know the difference between a dream and life…

The only thing I wonder is why I have these dreams? Who dreams about horrible things like this? Why? What triggers such deep-rooted subconscious fear inside of me? I believe that we dream the things we do for a reason, but what reason could I possibly have for dreaming such horrible and frightening things???

I decided to look up the meaning of some of my dreams…

According to Dreammoods.com the dreams I used to have about my son being kidnapped mean that I am not letting aspects or characteristics of him be expressed within me. That I am trying to contain or suppress his qualities.

The dream about the bear that I used to have regularly could denote aggression, overwhelming obstacles, and competition. It may have meant that I was facing a threatening situation.

As for this dream I looked up Intruders and found no results. Burglary indicates that you are feeling violated or that personal space has been invaded. You feel helpless in some situation or relationship. This could be due to a major change in your life. Give yourself some time to adjust to your new environment. Murder (which cam up as killing) states that: To dream that you kill someone, indicates that you are on the verge of losing your temper and self-control. Consider the person you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards him or her in your waking life. Your dream may be expressing some hidden anger. Alternatively, you may be trying to kill an aspect of yourself that is represented by the person killed. Identify the characteristics of this person and ask yourself which of these qualities you are trying to put an end to… Which makes no sense as I have no idea who the man was that I killed. As for my hubby dying in my dream it says: To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what you like about them. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life anymore… which is actually quite creepy!

I don’t know that this dream translates so literally, but I do know that it is a disturbing thing for anyone to dream… Why I dream of these horrible things I may never know… but at least I have grown and learned that they are not reality…

Now I will leave you with the thought that I am obviously crazy because I dream of such creepy things, and a few interesting facts about dreams and nightmares:

  • Definition of a nightmare: A nightmare is a terrifying or deeply upsetting dream of particular intensity causing strong feelings of fear, horror and distress.
  • About 5% – 10% of adults have nightmares once a month or more frequently.
  • Nightmares are related either to physiological causes, such as a high fever, or to psychological ones, such as unusual trauma or stress in the dreamer’s life.
  • Recent studies suggest that adults who have frequent nightmares tend to be more open, sensitive and emotional than average.
  • Studies have identified common reported themes in nightmares dreams include situations relating to school, being chased, sexual experiences, falling, arriving late, death, teeth falling out, flying and car accidents.
  • For most Five minutes after the end of the dream, half the content is forgotten. After ten minutes, 90% is lost.
  • Toddlers do not dream about themselves. In fact they do not appear in their dreams until the age of 3 or 4 years.
  • If you are snoring, you are not dreaming.
  • The original meaning of the word “nightmare” was a female spirit who besets people at night while they sleep.

OH, The Woes of a Country Mouse…


I am not sure that I am cut out for this city living. I thought that I loved the hustle and bustle that life in the city brings. I thought that the sights and sounds would set my mind ablaze. I assumed that I would enjoy exploring, I thought I would find constant adventure. I truly believed that the city would bring me joy…

But it hasn’t!

In fact, the hustle and bustle of the city is driving me mad. The sights and sounds have grown more irritating than entertaining, and they have done nothing to inspire my mind. Actually, they are kind of distracting! I have given up on exploring the city because everywhere you go is crowded with people, it takes hours on the bus, and the sidewalks are jam-packed with pedestrians. You can’t drive because the roads are complete chaos, and the only adventure I have found is the over abundance of insane people you see walking around unsupervised on a daily basis. The city and I do not see eye-to-eye….

Sure I like the conveniences that the city provides, like the large shopping malls and the endless amounts of interesting little shops that line the streets. I like the variety of activities I have to choose from if I want to do something with the kids. I like the diversity, the culture and the many different kids of people you can meet… But I rarely go shopping, I never get out with the kids any more and the people.. though diverse, are R-U-D-E! No one smiles and says hello. No one asks How you are doing? or How you have been? There is rarely friendly chit-chat, and most people walk around with their heads down, or their noses up.

Yes, city life is different.

I thought that I would be more creative here… but it is hard to do when you realize that you are one tiny speck among millions who are aiming for the same dream. It feels almost intimidating to find that you are anonymous, that you mean nothing to the hundreds of people you walk by every single day. It is daunting and depressing to watch the violence and suffering that is Top Story on the daily news.

Yes, the city and I are different.

I realize that I enjoyed walking down the street and seeing a familiar face. I liked being able to stop and talk to a friend. I like the friendly environment and welcoming atmosphere that was a “small” town. I miss the simplicity that was country living, the way you were a regular at a shop or bar. I miss the smiles that greeted you at every corner, and the simple politeness that came along. I was happy with the peace and quite. I didn’t even really mind that the buses didn’t run at night…. at least in the small town you could take a taxi without spending a hundred bucks.

Yes, the country and I are alike in many ways.

I miss the fresh air, and the clean water. The lack of garbage, and the abundance of trees. The fields, the flowers, and the family. The ease and openness. I miss not having to worry or stress about safety, not having to think before walking in the dark. I miss being able to walk on the sidewalks and drive on the roads without being run over. I miss the way things were….

But I am here in the city now, and though I miss many things, I need to accept that me and the city differ, that we will never be the same. I need to enjoy the things that are good here, and embrace them when I can.

I guess it is true the saying “That you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.”

There are plenty of things that I like here.. don’t get me wrong, but I guess I just didn’t realize how much I would miss what became my home!